


Medic and Mercenary

by Tren



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Betrayal, Drinking, Drunkenness, M/M, Retelling, Roleswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tren/pseuds/Tren
Summary: Medic-in-training Alvin finds himself drawn into goverment conspiracy after meeting the Lord of Spirits Milla. They escape from Fennmont with a help of mercenary Jude, who makes up for his short-stature with plethora of combat skills. Will their ragtag party manage to stop the tragedy? Or will they all be swallowed by the darkness of their past instead?Roleswap AU where Alvin is the medic from Leronde and Jude is a mysterious mercenary





	1. A Medic in Over His Head

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this story more than a year ago, but then I kept feeling like it needed more editing. However, I decided it was a high time to pull it out of the editing hell and throw it into the wild. 
> 
> This was inspired by that one skit where the party threw the idea of Jude as a mercenary and then failed to discuss just how interesting it would be. And then I was like, but how about Alvin as a useless student of medicine. And thus this AU was born.
> 
> Both Jude and Leia were aged up to be 18 to make timeline more consistent. I'm glossing over most of the events that hadn't change much from the game. Alvin and Milla's realtionship in this AU is pretty similar to the one between her and Jude in the game, so I also ended up abridging a lot of it.
> 
> Will update every weekend. I have the whole story written, but I need to chapter it anyway due to volume. So I might as well make things more exciting and post it in parts.

Alvin sighed as he finished treating the last patient. He should have been used to taking over Haus’ shifts, but honestly with all the late-night reading he had to do to finish his thesis he felt like he was spreading himself thin.

He hadn’t written to his mom in a month. Neither did he reply to any of Leia’s letters. He should probably never return to Leronde now that he had displeased two most important women in his life.

He chuckled at the joke. He wanted nothing more than to return to the dorm and attempt to write letters for them, but instead he found himself running around the city trying to find Dr. Haus, because he needed some _very important_ slip of paper signed.

Unfortunately, the lab that Professor Haus disappeared into was off limits, as two unhelpful guards informed Alvin. And to make matters worse, a strong gust of wind carried the slip of paper into the river.

_Fucking perfect._

Alvin looked down expecting to see the paper drown in the water together with his chances of ever graduating from Talim. Instead, he found both his paper and a beautiful blond woman safe and dry above the water. He blinked and quickly jumped down on impulse, landing on some sort of magical foothold.

He retrieved the paper and decided to strike a conversation with the woman, who seemed intent on infiltrating the facility. She didn’t share much about herself, but Alvin ended up following her. He considered himself a pretty good judge of character and the woman didn’t strike him as malicious.

What he was doing was reckless, but he still needed this stupid paper slip signed. Plus, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the secrets that the research facility hid.

Alvin looted a greatsword out of the first soldier that attacked him and proceeded forward.

*

“You should return home,” the woman who introduced herself as Milla said, after she had saved his life from a crazy chick dressed in red.

Alvin should have, but instead he said.

“I can’t. Truth is I’m a spy and can’t leave unless I get info on the secrets of this facility,” he said. It was a bold-faced lie, but he didn’t want to leave. Not after witnessing the death of his professor. He needed to learn _why_ he died. “So how about we work together to get what we want?”

“A spy, huh?” Milla muttered. “I don’t really care about human politics, so as long as you don’t try to get in my way, I don’t mind if you follow me.”

“It’s nice working with you, then,” Alvin said.

Milla just nodded in return. Alvin hoped his lie would last long enough for him to find out what was going on.

*

A group of guards shouldn’t have been that shocking after discovering a government approved human experimentation, learning that Milla was in fact _Maxwell_ , and almost dying on at least two separate occasions.

But it was, because Alvin was still processing the fact that he had just become a wanted man by stumbling upon a government secret.

Milla had already ran off to the nearest ship and Alvin really should have followed her, but his legs were rooted to the spot, as the sheer gravity of the situation finally hit him.

“I’m sorry, doctor,” Eldin said, as he ordered other guards to capture him. However, before they could move towards him they fell down, one by one, taken out with frightening precision. It was only when the last one fell on the ground that Alvin saw a boy who attacked them. He was a head shorter than Alvin and honestly looked as if he had just walked out of the nearest prep school. He wore dark clothes and an overly long scarf that was wrapped around his neck. The scarf was so big it obscured part of his face and made him look even smaller than he was.

“You really don’t have time to be standing here,” the boy said, stepping over the guards and easily raising Alvin to prop him on his shoulder.

Alvin was in too much shock to protest. Despite the short stature the boy had no problem jumping on the containers that lined the dock and then making a huge jump to land on the ship that Milla had already boarded, all while carrying Alvin like a sack of potatoes.

“You alright?” he asked, gently placing Alvin on the deck. Alvin nodded in response, too shell-shocked to give a verbal reply.

Apparently, he was in for a hell of a ride.

*

The stranger introduced himself as Jude. He was a mercenary, though as he himself admitted, not a very classical one.

“I like to help people, so I end up taking up jobs for much cheaper than I should,” he admitted with a shy smile. According to him it was also his overly good heart that lead him to saving Alvin from the guards. Jude seemed sad, but understanding when both Alvin and Milla admitted that they had no money.

“Just my luck, I guess,” he said with a wistful smile. “Ah, but maybe we could figure out something when we reach the shore!”

*

They did figure something out.

Alvin decided to follow Milla. Call it going with the flow, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her alone. Without her powers she was barely capable of fending for herself and even with Jude’s help she would probably struggle.

Jude didn’t mind helping them as long as they would do some requests together. He also instructed them in sword handling, as they fought a monster after monster near the city.

“For someone who doesn’t fight with sword you are awfully well-versed in it,” Alvin commented, after Jude demonstrated him how to handle his greatsword. There was something incredible in watching Jude hold a greatsword that was almost as tall as he was.

“Being a mercenary forces you to learn a lot of different things,” Jude replied with a bashful smile. He performed an attack with a perfect stance. Or at least Alvin assumed it was perfect. It sometimes felt as if Jude walked straight out of textbook to instruct mortals like him on proper combat stances.

“I have no idea how an honour student like you even became a mercenary,” Alvin admitted.

Jude shrugged, lowering his gaze.

“Necessity,” he said simply, lowering his head to hide his face in the scarf. “Now concentrate.”

Alvin wanted to ask what necessities would force a young person like him to become a mercenary, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t receive an answer. Jude was really good at avoiding questions he didn’t want to answer.

*

“So you aren’t really a spy,” Milla said one evening, after they set out their camp. It was a statement, not a question.

Alvin chuckled and nodded.

“I was afraid you would force me to leave if I told you I was just a medical student in over my head,” Alvin admitted.

Milla looked at him gently.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this,” she said, but Alvin shook his head.

“No, you have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who deceived you. I can’t pretend it wasn’t my own choices that landed me here,” he admitted. “If anything, I’m grateful you allowed me to escape with you.”

“Is that so?” Milla muttered thoughtfully. “You shouldn’t worry. You should be able to hide in Nia Khera until my business is finished. Once the Lance of Kresnik is destroyed nobody should have any reason to pursue you.”

Alvin nodded. He hadn’t really considered waiting out the trouble and now that the concept was thrown before him, he felt as if he should think about his choices. However, currently, another question burned him.

“By the way, how did you know I’m not a spy?” he asked. It certainly didn’t seem as if Milla suspected him back in Fennmont.

“You were nothing like an actual spy, so I realized you must have been lying,” she stated simply.

Alvin wondered where she had seen an actual spy, but then realized that as the Lord of the Spirits she had probably witnessed much more than an average human like him and dropped the question.

*

Jude’s fighting style certainly incorporated a lot of his wide knowledge of weapon usage. While he usually fought with his bare fists, he relied on various hidden weapons for finishing blows.

Alvin counted no less than five different weapons hidden in his scarf alone. He couldn’t help, but wonder how he had managed not to stab himself on some of them, whenever he slung his arm around Jude’s shoulders. But out of all the varied weaponry there was one thing in particular that caught his attention. 

“What even is that thing?” Alvin asked one day when he found Jude cleaning the strange shooting contraption he had seen him use sometimes during the battle.

“Oh, this?” Jude said, slightly ashamed. Alvin had no idea what caused this reaction. “It’s a weapon that uses spirit artes to shoot projectiles.”

“Oh, can I see it?” Alvin asked. Jude reluctantly gave him the weapon. He looked at it with fascination. When he looked back Jude was smiling at him fondly.

“It’s… cool, yeah,” Alvin said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. While he had made sure to cultivate an image of a people person, nothing in his life had prepared him for dealing with a teenage mercenary who was apparently as cute as he was well versed in combat. “Shame I can’t use it.”

He gave the weapon back to Jude, who was now giving him a curious look.

“I’ve been meaning to ask… are you unable to use spirit artes?” the mercenary asked carefully.

“Uh, yes. I’ve been in an accident when I was six years old. I lost all my memories and my mana lobes were irreparably damaged,” he explained. He felt awkward. It wasn’t a story he liked to share, especially because most people would pity him when they learned he was unable to channel mana. He preferred to pretend he was like all the other people, not a defective member of society.

However, Jude didn’t seem to be pitying him. He still looked curious, and Alvin had a strange feeling that Jude knew something that he didn’t, which obviously couldn’t be true. They barely met a few days ago.

“Are there many cases of people losing their ability to channel mana?” Jude asked, visibly curious.

Alvin shrugged.

“From what I know, not really,” he admitted. “I mean, my mom also can’t channel them, so maybe it’s some form of hereditary disease? Well, probably more of a defect, really.”

Jude nodded at that explanation, before returning to cleaning his weapon with intense focus. Alvin couldn’t help feeling like there was some purpose to Jude’s question, but couldn’t figure out what.

*

After they left Hamil, a strange woman managed to grab Milla next to a waterfall. Alvin suggested that Jude shoot the pile of rocks on the cliff, unleashing a monster onto their enemy. It was a bold plan, but it succeeded. The woman fell into the waterfall while their party defeated the monster.

Alvin wanted to try to find her. For some reason she felt familiar. He could have sworn he had met her before. However, Jude stopped him.

“Those waters are full of other monsters. We should leave this place immediately. Also, great job. You are really observant to notice that a monster was hiding there,” Jude said giving him a congratulatory grin.

Alvin nodded, but the strange feeling of nostalgia didn’t seem to want to leave him. What was even stranger was the fact that Jude seemed to mirror his unease in that regard.

“Do you know that woman? For a moment there you looked as if you recognized her,” Alvin asked, hoping that maybe Jude had some answers about the identity of their mysterious assailant.

Jude froze, but then a blush spread across his face and he began rubbing his neck.

“It was just… her clothes were very revealing. I don’t think they are very practical for fighting…” he admitted awkwardly.

It was first time Jude had ever acted as a teenager he was. Alvin ended up patting him on the head feeling somehow proud of the fact that he had witnessed that moment.

*

Alvin was surprised that it didn’t occur to him earlier to try teasing the mercenary. For all of his seriousness Jude turned out to be surprisingly bashful. It made him act much less mature than he usually did, which was in some ways relieving. Probably because Alvin had enough self-worth issues to spare and watching someone so much younger being overly competent was… yeah, nope, let’s not go into that. 

Not to mention teasing Jude was just pure fun.

“Come on, you have to know!” Alvin insisted. “I need to know for science.”

“I’m pretty sure this question has nothing to do with your scientific pursuits. Plus, the standards of beauty are pretty subjective, so it’s not like my opinion would have much scientific value.”

“But I trust your tastes,” Alvin insisted, leaning on Jude to make sure that he wouldn’t attempt to physically escape the conversation. It happened once already and Alvin was now well aware that catching up to a running Jude was _not an option_.

“So tell me, are women more beautiful in Auj Oule or Rashugal?” Alvin continued to ask.

Jude was already blushing, not knowing where to look.

“I… I would probably say Auj Oule,” he finally said.

“Oh, was there a girl to your liking?” Alvin continued to tease.

Jude tensed at the question. Bingo.

“Come on tell me, what did you like about her?”

For a second it seemed like Jude would sputter something embarrassing, but then he suddenly looked Alvin straight in the eyes.

“She didn’t ask so many invasive questions,” he said without blinking, while slowly, but purposefully extracting himself from Alvin’s grasp. “Which seems to be a terrible quality that Rashugal’s people of both genders exhibit.”

“Ah, I see, sorry about that,” Alvin said, suddenly feeling ashamed. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

“I certainly hope so,” Jude said, somehow managing to say it with no irony in his voice, as he moved on ahead.

Alvin sighed. Maybe he should tone it down a notch.

*

Alvin didn’t like the idea of waiting out the fun in Nia Khera. Now that his chances of finishing his medical studies were truly dead he didn’t want to just quit helping Milla halfway through. Sure, she may be Maxwell, but Alvin had trouble seeing her as something other than a woman who was trying to undertake a mission too big for her. Or maybe big enough. The jury was still out there.

Still, he felt self-conscious about it.

“You should just go and tell her. I mean, you are an adult. It’s your life and your decisions,” Jude said as if it was that easy. He was reading a book he had brought with him. Or rather, was attempting to do so, while Alvin kept venting to him.

“A surprisingly wise words for a kid,” Alvin said, trying not to feel like a human failure that he knew he was.

Jude shrugged, the insult rolling over him with no effect.

“I have no idea why you need to lord your age over me so much, but sure,” he agreed easily, tracing something in his book with his finger. 

“It’s just…” Alvin started, then paused. He thought how to articulate his thoughts so he wouldn’t sound condescending. “You never act your age.”

“Oh, and what age am I?” Jude asked, finally raising his head from above the book and looking slightly cheeky. “I don’t think I ever mentioned that.”

“You look like you are barely fifteen.”

“I’m eighteen,” Jude replied seriously, returning to his reading. Alvin just stared at him. It was a bit hard to believe that the scrawny boy was the same age as Leia. He was sure she was higher than he was.

“The growth spurt was certainly cruel to you,” Alvin said jokingly.

“Well, it does have advantages,” Jude replied without missing a beat, as he turned a page in the book. “It’s easier to punch people where it hurts when you are shorter.”

The next lame joke died on Alvin’s lips. He would rather not test his luck.

*

Milla’s handmaid was a handful and for some reason decided that Alvin was his rival. He wasn’t sure what he was a rival in. He sure as hell was not going to fight for the position. He only wanted to help Milla. That was literally it. No grander purpose beyond that.

Alvin really hated people like Ivar who couldn’t take a hint.

The ritual to resummon four great spirits failed and while Jude disappeared somewhere, Alvin finally confessed to Milla that he had wanted to continue supporting her. She looked surprised, but seemed happy at that. Alvin’s heart was soaring. At least until they returned to the village and found Jude preparing to leave.

Right, the villagers were going to pay him. Alvin forgot about that small detail.

He wanted to ask Milla if they couldn’t perhaps find some extra money so he could go with them. Jude was certainly skilled and Alvin would feel much more confident if the small mercenary accompanied them to Fennmont. Still, Milla didn’t want to continue dragging him around for her mission.

Alvin had to accept that this was where they roads parted. He wasn’t too happy about it.

*

Jude rejoined them almost immediately after they left the Nia Khera. Apparently, the villagers overpaid him, and he would feel bad if he didn’t provide the services equal to the payment.

It was such a Jude thing to do, Alvin caught him under his arm in a familiar gesture without even thinking about it.

“Glad to have you back on the board,” he said, not hiding his joy.

Jude seemed bashful at that.

“Ah, yeah. I... I enjoy travelling with you two,” he said with a shy smile.

Alvin did his best to ignore his instincts that told him there was something very wrong with that smile.

*

Alvin picked up a child in Hamil. Milla looked at him judgmentally. Jude was trying to hide his doubtful expression, but he was failing.

“I will take care of her, okay? I’m an adult!” he assured them, when he was sure Elize wouldn’t be able to hear them. He didn’t want her to feel unwelcome. The villagers made sure she had felt that way already.

“If you say so,” Milla decided. 

Jude still looked as if he thought it was a terrible idea, but didn’t want to voice it.

“Make sure to take good care of her, okay?” he finally asked Alvin, as they were leaving the village. It sounded as if he had been sincerely worried about the girl. Not very surprising given that Jude definitely had a thing for helping anyone he could. 

“Of course I will,” Alvin promised. “I will protect my little princess, right?” he said as he winked at Elize.

She looked grateful and Alvin forced himself not to think of how not ready he was to be a parent to anyone.

He thought how upset his mother would be when she learned how much he fucked up his life and sighed.

*

So Elize could create huge rifts of darkness and had a talking toy that could siphon your life energy.

Big deal, Leia almost killed him with her staff when she was six years old and Elize was twice that age. It was normal for cute girls to be harbingers of death and destruction.

At least that was what Alvin told himself to save his sanity.

She also seemed to be very attached to Jude, who was glad to instruct her and Teepo as to where the mascot should hit the enemies to cause the most damage.

Cute and deadly was apparently the theme their ragtag party had going.

*

It was no secret that Jude often sent letters.

“Are they for your girlfriend?” Alvin asked as he found Jude composing a new one, his sylphjay sitting on his shoulder.

“What? No, they are for my mom,” Jude explained quickly, lowering his gaze in embarrassment. “Unlike you I don’t have any childhood friends I could exchange letters with,” he added. He was obviously trying not to sulk.

“Ah, come on, don’t be like that,” Alvin said, coming closer and slinging his arm over Jude’s shoulder. As always Jude didn’t even attempt to run away, instead just freezing in place, as if deciding that Alvin’s arm was the inevitability that couldn’t be escaped. “Childhood friends are frankly overrated! Besides, you don’t need some stupid childhood friends when you have me!”

Jude gave him a look of a frightened doe.

“We are friends?” he asked, as if he had trouble believing the notion. Alvin tried not to appear as hurt as he felt.

“Of course we are! You saved me in Fennmont and helped me a lot during our journey. Frankly, this is more than Leia ever done for me,” he admitted with a laugh. For all her great qualities, Leia was mostly a never-ending source of trouble. “You and I are like best friends.”

Jude blushed a bit at that.

“Thanks. This… means a lot,” he admitted, leaning slightly more into Alvin.

Alvin couldn’t stop himself from wondering just what kind of life Jude had lead before he joined them.

*

Life of betrayal apparently, because Jude had seemingly no qualms about selling them out to Cline. It worked out in their favour, but everyone still found themselves staring at Jude with no trust after that.

“Sorry, but this was necessary. We need information if you want to achieve your goal and you can’t gain information without sharing some first,” he explained. He tried to look resolute, but there was fear hiding behind his eyes.

All Alvin could see was a boy, who knew he did something wrong, but was desperately trying to put on a brave front.

“Your betrayal might have ended up being beneficial for us, but if you try to sell us again I won’t show you mercy,” Milla assured him. Something flashed in Jude’s eyes. Something so bitter and jaded, Alvin almost thought he had imagined it, when it was quickly replaced with remorse.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I will make sure not to do something like that in the future,” he promised.

Alvin tried to pretend Jude’s voice didn’t sound as hollow as his promise probably was.

*

Rowen was a fine addition to their party. He obviously had some military experience and was happy to share some pointers. 

“You have trained martial arts, didn’t you?” Rowen asked, after he helped Alvin correct his posture.

“Yeah, my friend’s mother taught me some basics, but I never had much knack for it,” he admitted. Without the ability to channel mana he couldn’t really master that particular style. Despite that Alvin ended up incorporating some techniques into his current fighting style, though Master Sonia would probably murder him if she saw how he had bastardized all the moves she had taught him. “Jude is way better than me and from what I understand he’s self-taught.”

“Indeed. He uses a mixture of several different fighting styles,” Rowen confirmed. “Probably to compensate for his weak mana control. He must have learned from books and observing other people.”

“He’s a real bookworm, huh,” Alvin said, mostly to keep conversation going. He wanted to avoid the topic of Jude’s weak arte control. It was an unspoken rule not to comment on it, since Jude always looked hurt when it was brought up.

“Indeed, he seemed extremely interested in the contents of our library,” Rowen admitted. He nodded at Alvin’s posture. “That’s better.”

They both looked at the rest of the team that seemed to have sufficiently rested. They had to hurry, if they wanted to save Cline.

“Let’s go,” Alvin said, sheathing his greatsword.

*

Their rescue was unfortunately for naught, because Cline got shot by a poisoned arrow less than a day later. Alvin immediately tore Cline’s shirt, trying to do something about the wound. Distantly he heard a thunderous sound of Jude’s projectile weapon. At least the mercenary would make sure they didn’t get hit.

They transported Cline inside, but Alvin simply lacked the equipment needed to save his life. His first aid attempts could only take him this far. If only he was a real healer with the ability to use artes… Jude was at his side desperately trying to channel his healing artes, but they were weak and soon dispersed, as Jude lost control over his mana flow. 

It wasn’t long after that when Cline went cold and quiet.

Alvin spent _years_ at the medical school and yet he was still a failure that couldn’t even save one person’s life.

What was worse, Milla, Elize and Driselle ended up kidnapped.

Alvin found himself fuming, but well…

He may have been a failure of a doctor, but he was definitely getting better at causing injuries to the others.

*

“You seem more bloodthirsty than usual,” Jude noted after they defeated yet another enemy group in Fort Gandala. Alvin was breathing heavily, as he sheathed his greatsword.

“Elize is here somewhere. She must be scared. And Milla is bound to do something reckless and stupid,” he enumerated. His hands were shaking, as all the worst case scenarios were crashing through his mind. “And Driselle…”

“It’s alright,” Jude’s voice was soft, as he gently hugged Alvin. “You don’t need to be scared. We will save them and then you can brag to Milla and Eliza how you are her protector, right?”

Alvin felt the tension drain a bit from him.

“Ummm, thanks,” he said, awkwardly returning the hug. “I was getting too worried there.”

“It’s alright,” Jude replied with a smile. He was not letting go of Alvin.

There was a pause.

“I think we should be going, the ladies are probably impatiently awaiting our big hero moment,” he said with his usual confidence.

Jude seemed to remember himself and let go with a nod. Alvin tried to maintain his swagger, despite the embarrassment.

*

The corruption spread its roots more deeply than Alvin imagined if the king himself was responsible for the experiments.

“I sure as hell didn’t choose him,” he deadpanned, as the group scrambled to power up the device which would allow them to open the door. Rowen turned out to be none other than the legendary tactician and Alvin would probably be more in awe of that fact, if Elize still wasn’t scared and Milla hadn’t rushed ahead to stop Nachtigal. 

And if he wasn’t feeling totally useless due to his inability to help with anything mana related.

They ran through the door that finally opened to catch up to Milla.

They were too late.

Alvin was too late yet again, as Milla laid limp on the floor.

They barely managed to escape from the Fort Gandala. It took everything from Alvin not to cry over Milla as he frantically attempted to save her.

*

Milla survived, but lost her ability to walk.

Well, to be more precise the nerves in her legs got irreparably damaged, leading to loss of motor skills and…

Alvin allowed the stream of information he acquired during the course of his studies pass through his brain, so he could blunt the pain. Putting it into cold medical terms grounded him. He could almost remember that particular lecture. Professor Haus was the one who gave it.

Alvin opened his eyes so that the vision of the dead body of his professor could not chase him into the present. Why did all the people around him have to die or get hurt so much that he couldn’t heal them? It wasn’t fair!

Milla also wasn’t fair, because anyone else in her place would give up, but she seemed intent on just crawling back to Fennmont, if she had to. Alvin felt like tearing his hair out. Why did she had to have so much dedication?!

He just couldn’t understand why she kept going on after all the failures. She lost the Four Great Spirits, she lost the ability to walk, and yet she never lost her confidence.

Alvin wished he could be like that.

The next morning he told her he would take her to his mother’s clinic.

*

Jude didn’t come to say goodbye to him and Milla.

Alvin tried not to feel sad about it. Jude’s quest was truly finished and there was no need for him to hang around them. And yet, Alvin couldn’t help looking around and for a moment he felt like he saw the familiar dark outfit of the small mercenary near the inn.

“Are we leaving?” Milla asked.

He sighed, no time to run around the plaza to check if his hunch was right. He regretted having to leave both their companions behind, but Jude was fully capable of taking care of himself and he wouldn’t be able to safely protect both the injured Milla and Eliza from potential threats. As good as Eliza was at fighting, Alvin knew it would be foolish to take her on this journey.

“Don’t worry, pumpkin,” he said, patting Elize on the head when she looked sadly at him. “I will return to you, once Milla is healed, okay?” he promised.

Eliza nodded, visibly torn by the fact she had to part ways with Alvin and Milla. Alvin crouched next to her.

“Make sure to cheer up Drisella, okay?” he whispered to her. “It’s an important mission. I will be counting on you.”

A determination flashed in Elize’s eyes and she nodded fiercely.

“Thank you. I knew I could count on you. I promise I will be back once I’m finished on my side.”

They waved after that as they left the city. Alvin made sure to wave in the direction where he thought he saw Jude earlier.


	2. Home Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive feedback! Here is the second part feat. Leticia, Leia telling everyone about Alvin's past and terrible sword euphemism.

The journey didn’t go without a hitch and Alvin was glad that wielding a greatsword helped him build some muscles, because he ended up piggybacking Milla through half of the forest.

They ended up running into Ivar in the port and Alvin was forced to battle him. He found with some pride that his skills had certainly improved.

Maybe he could be an adventurer after he had finished helping Milla? Or a mercenary like Jude? His future, surprisingly, felt much more open now than it did when he was still at medical school.

Milla handed Ivar something before once more instructing him to guard Nia Khera. Alvin was sure that Ivar would break that promise at the first opportunity he got. That guy seriously lacked patience and restraint, but Alvin knew better than to share that thought. It would probably only shorten Ivar’s already small fuse anyway.

Alvin felt a pang of sadness, realizing that there was no Jude or Rowen with whom he could badmouth Ivar. 

He was already missing his roast buddies.

*

Leronde remained unchanged.

Green fields, fresh mountain air, bright sun, Leia mishandling a wheelchair and falling into the bay.

It was as if Alvin never left.

Leia was all too happy to use the wheelchair for its actual purpose after Alvin helped pull it out of the water. She was smiling as she talked to Milla about the town’s history and pushed the wheelchair towards the clinic. 

It was good because it gave Alvin time to mentally prepare himself for the scolding he would receive. He didn’t know if the word reached his mom about the fact that Alfred was now a wanted man. Leronde was, thankfully, far away from the civilization. There was a high chance the news hadn’t reached it yet.

Leia would probably also grill him about lack of the letters later, but it was the smaller problem right now.

As he entered the clinic he tried to remain brave. He had fought alongside the great spirit Maxwell, a small mercenary who could probably murder a person with his fists alone, a girl who could steal energy and cast powerful artes with her toy and Ilbert the Conductor. There was no reason for him to feel apprehension at meeting his mother.

“ _Alfred Vint Svent_ , what are you doing here?!” Leticia Svent said sternly, as she saw him in the corridor of her clinic.

“Um, hi, mom,” Alvin said with a fake smile, feeling more frightened by a second. “It’s good to see you!”

“You don’t write for two months and then you just drop unannounced like it’s nothing?!” she asked, standing strong and proud before him.

Despite the fact that he had outgrown his mother years ago, Alvin found himself shrinking.

“Sorry, there’s been a lot of stuff happening and—”

Leia chose this moment to push the wheelchair forward.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Alfred brought a patient with him.”

Leticia sized up Milla.

“We have emergency treatment here, sorry everyone, but I will have to take that woman outside the queue.”

There was a murmur of understanding as nobody dared to complain to Leticia, while Leia pushed the wheelchair deeper into the clinic.

*

Alvin sighed as his mother closed herself in a room with Milla. At least he would have time to gather his thoughts before the next verbal onslaught.

“So…” Leia said, as she grabbed Alvin’s hand to force him to look at her. “Why haven’t you been replying to my letters?”

...or he wouldn’t.

*

He managed to avoid admitting to Leia just how dangerous was the trouble he got himself into, by concentrating on the part where he decided to help Milla after she had saved his life from a crazy murderer.

Leia nodded excitedly through the whole of his heavily altered story.

He forgot how much she loved living vicariously through him.

He was on the part where he had been piggybacking Milla through the woods, when the door to the examination room opened. Leticia walked out, taking the two of them to her doctor room.

“I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for her,” Leticia said. “It’s a serious injury…”

“Couldn’t you use aspyrixis to treat her?” Alvin asked.

His mother gave him unamused gaze that made Alvin straighten himself.

“Aspyrixis isn’t a cure all. It’s an extremely painful procedure. I had grown men begging to stop it and deciding to live in a wheelchair, instead. Someone like her—”

“She will manage it,” Alvin said with full confidence.

Leticia sighed.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I gave up on this treatment. It caused people more pain than it helped,” she explained.

“But she needs it,” Alvin insisted.

“What she needs is a wheelchair and a reality check,” Leticia insisted. “That’s all I have to say for now. There are other patients I need to take care of.”

She left the room. Before he knew it, Alvin was also moving, his feet taking him to the room with the archives.

He started to check the shelves, looking for the documents he knew must have been there…

“I think this is what you are looking for,” Leia said, handing him several papers.

He took them with gratitude, reading carefully about the procedure. It actually sounded pretty easy. Alvin did much more complicated operations during his studies. He should be able to complete this. However, they quickly discovered they lacked a vital component—a spirit fossil that needed to be freshly mined.

Alvin didn’t hesitate as he asked Leia to help find it.

*

“There’s something that I’m curious about,” Milla said, as Alvin finished mining another stone and was looking through its remains. Some valuable rocks, but no spirit fossils. He pocketed the spoils and nodded to Leia to move on.

“What is it?” he asked, trying to find another minable rock.

“Your name isn’t Alvin?” Milla asked and Alvin froze. Ah, right, he probably should have mentioned that earlier.

Leia also stopped.

“Wait, you really told people in Fennmont that your name is Alvin? Were you that afraid of being seen as a country bumpkin?” she asked, chuckling.

“Look, no young people nowadays are called Alfred. I didn’t want them to make fun of me, because I have a grandpa’s name,” Alvin defended himself, but Leia just laughed harder.

“I can’t believe it,” she said between the chuckles. “You really are that hopeless.”

“I certainly learned something new today,” Milla said with a smile.

Alvin just concentrated on hitting the rock with as much strength as he could to forget about the embarrassment he felt.

*

Running into a giant rock snake was not a part of the plan, but they did manage to get a spirit fossil for Milla, so the mission ended in success.

Milla still needed to be hauled out of the mines since she passed out from the pain, but Alvin couldn’t help grinning through the whole trek. He finally did it. He finally managed to help someone. Be something more than a failure. The happiness he felt from adrenaline was priceless and would unfortunately soon dissipate, but he enjoyed every second of it.

“Thank you, Leia,” he said, as they left the cave.

She smiled at him.

“It was nothing. Everything for a dear childhood friend of mine,” she replied cheekily.

“I promise to write next time I leave. I never meant to leave you in the cold,” he said.

She smiled sadly at thim.

“Thanks. I was really worried about you when you stopped writing. I’m still a bit mad, but I get it. If I were in your shoes I would probably also forget to reply with everything going on.”

“Such magnanimous forgiveness,” he said ironically, but as Leia pouted at him, he added, “I think it deserves a huge serving of the best ice cream in Leronde.”

Leia beamed at him and Alvin returned the smile.

*

His mom was in a state of disbelief at seeing the effects of Alvin’s terrible attempt at field medicine. Wearily, she agreed to help Milla with rehabilitation before chasing Leia away.

“So, now that we have some time to chat. Can you explain this?” she asked, as she pulled a wanted poster with a very terrible drawing of Alvin.

He sighed as he realized there was no escaping this conversation.

“I was running too fast for them to get a good look at me,” he said to lighten the mood, but then his face fell, as the weight of the burden he was carrying caught up to him.

He told his mother everything. She listened in silence, nodding from time to time, but never interrupting him.

When he had finished she hugged him and started crying. It wasn’t long before Alvin was crying too.

*

The tension raised with each day that brought Milla closer to being discharged. Alvin’s mother didn’t want him to leave, but he knew he couldn’t stop now. He needed to help Milla stop the Rashugal’s weapon. Lance of Kresnik was powerful enough to threaten the whole world. Alvin definitely wasn’t the most responsible person out there, but he couldn’t just pretend to not know that there was a super weapon that could be used to obliterate the cities.

Such a dangerous weapon simply shouldn’t be allowed to exist.

Still, Alvin got his stubbornness from his mother, which was why he wasn’t surprised to see her during their departure. Even the happiness from reuniting with Elize and Rowen was not enough to chase the uneasiness he felt when talking with Leticia.

“You can’t go,” she said urgently, her voice betraying her fears. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I know it is dangerous mom, but I need to do this. I can’t pretend I haven’t seen how much danger the world is in,” he replied, because he could imagine the Lance of Kresnik wiping out Leronde all too easily, Leticia and Leia and all the other people he knew dying in one sweep of bright light.

“I still—” she started, but didn’t get to finish her sentence. 

“Alvin, how good to see you!” Suddenly, a cheerful voice interrupted them. Alvin looked at the familiar figure and a smile immediately split his face.

“Jude!” he shouted, happily. He immediately placed his arm on Jude’s shoulder in a practiced motion. “I missed you buddy!”

“Yeah, me too,” Jude admitted bashfully, leaning into the touch. “I was worried I would miss you when I found out you were leaving already.”

“You… know this boy, Alfred?” His mother asked, her voice carefully measured.

“Of course, it’s Jude! He’s the one who helped me on my journeys. We are practically brothers!” He announced happily, presenting Jude like a trophy.

Jude gave her a small smile and a nod.

“Please don’t worry about Alvin. I will make sure that nothing bad happens to him during our travels,” Jude assured her with a perfectly polite smile.

Alvin didn’t expect it to work, because Jude wouldn’t really look all that reliable to anyone who didn’t know him. He was about to explain that to Leticia, but she replied before he got a chance.

“I see. In that case, please take care of him,” she said in a strained voice.

Alvin was surprised to see the argument end so rapidly, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Thanks mom, I promise to write! Goodbye!” he said, waving with his free hand. 

Jude didn’t seem to mind that Alvin still had his left hand wrapped around his shoulders.

Apparently, Alvin wasn’t the only one who missed their little group.

*

Rowen planned to send Elize back to Sharilton, when Jude all too easily promised to take her with them. Alvin felt it was a bit irresponsible, but Jude did have the best understanding of Elize. If he felt she should go with them, then maybe it was better not to argue.

It wasn’t long after they set sail that they found a stowaway.

“Is it someone you know?” Jude asked, seeing Alvin make an exasperated face at the girl sleeping in a barrel.

“Remember that useless childhood friend, who is like a little sister to me, that I told you about?” Alvin asked.

“Yes… oh,” Jude said, then fell silent. He looked at the sleeping contents of the barrel. “Yes, your descriptions were certainly accurate.”

“Thanks. Now, could you help me lift the barrel? I think we should wake up the sleeping beauty,” Alvin said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Despite his upstanding morals, Jude didn’t seem to mind helping him wake up Leia by letting the barrel she was in roll through the deck.

*

“I have good reasons to be on this journey! Just take a look at them!” Leia insisted, as she pushed some notes onto Milla.

Whatever nonsense she wrote in there seemed to resonate with the Lord of Spirits, because Milla agreed without much trouble after that.

Alvin sighed, resigning himself to babysitting her and Elize. Maybe that was a career he should pursue? A babysitter. He would certainly have more than enough experience. For all the wit Leia had, she attracted trouble like a magnet.

And she seemed to be very interested in the small mercenary.

“Wait, you are my age and a mercenary? That’s so cool!” she said, looking at Jude as a cat would look at a mouse. Alvin had to amend his previous assessment. Jude was slightly taller that Leia, but not by much. Maybe it was due to his meek demeanour, but Jude just seemed smaller than he truly was.

“I don’t think being mercenary is something cool,” Jude admitted, looking pleadingly at Alvin to help him escape from Leia’s clutches. “It was just the fastest way to earn money.”

“Money? Is that why you became a mercenary?” she continued asking. “Does it pay that well?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with greed.

“Hey, hey, don’t bully the poor pipsqueak. He may be putting a good front, but he’s a terrible mercenary,” Alvin said, sliding his hand on Jude’s shoulders. “He actually helped us when we had no money. The mercenary association would probably kick him out if they knew.”

“Oh, you helped Alfred? Thanks for keeping an eye on him,” Leia thanked him sincerely.

“It was no problem,” Jude assured quickly. “Alvin is very strong, he only needed some pointers from me to manage on his own.”

“Don’t be so modest, you taught me all I know!” Alvin added happily.

“I’m sure you already knew the basics of combat at that point,” Jude pointed out, but after that Leia started to throw more questions at him and Alvin found himself grinning as he watched both of them interact.

He was glad they could enjoy themselves like that despite the dangers of the mission.

*

“You really should have trained more while you were in Leronde. You have already forgotten how to handle your sword,” Jude berated Alvin, as he clutched his greatsword to demonstrate the stance.

It was actually a lie on Alvin’s part. He had continued his training while he was in Leronde, but it just felt all too easy to trick Jude into thinking that wasn’t the case to secure some alone time with him.

Alvin didn’t realize how much he missed Jude until now. It was almost embarrassing to admit how low he was willing to sink to get his attention. He was acting like a lovesick girl pretending not to understand a lecture to get a guy she liked to explain it, wasn’t he?

“Are you paying attention, Alvin?” Jude asked in a tone of voice that indicated that he knew perfectly well that he was being ignored, but wished to sound polite despite that. There was something frustrating in how much Jude controlled his voice, as if he was constantly censoring himself from voicing his true feelings. As if he was holding back.

Alvin clicked his tongue. Jude tilted his head, obviously not understanding why Alvin was the one who expressing irritation.

“Is something wrong?” Jude asked carefully.

“Oh, nothing, nothing,” Alvin assured, quickly masking his feelings with an easy smile. He came closer, slinging his arm around Jude’s shoulders in a gesture that was almost a habit at this point. “I was just thinking…” he said slowly, leaving an obvious bait.

“Thinking?” Jude prompted, because he had yet to avoid walking into one of Alvin’s traps. It was almost too easy with how eager Jude was to hear what the medic was thinking.

“...that you don’t have much experience with _swords_ , am I right?” Alvin asked with a wide shit-eating grin and a tone that left no doubt as to what he was actually asking about.

Jude almost dropped the greatsword at the innuendo, casting his eyes downwards to avoid looking at Alvin. He was blushing very intensely.

“I… ummm…” his words were disjointed, as he tried to hide his embarrassment at being asked that.

“You what?” Alvin asked teasingly, leaning even more into Jude. It was so satisfying to see him derail like that. All the composure lost and thoughts astray.

However, Jude decided to surprise him, because he took a calming breath and raised his head to look at Alvin.

“Ah, you are right, I don’t really have much experience with _swords_ ,” he said, almost stumbling on the word, but continuing despite that. “However, I read a lot on the subject,” he added, a mischievous glint sparkling in his eyes. Before Alvin realized what was going on he felt a sudden pull at the collar of his shirt that forced him to lower his head, so that his ear would end up right next to Jude’s mouth. Just so he could whisper teasingly, “and I’ve been told that I’m. _A. Really. Fast. Learner._ When it comes to _combat_.”

Alvin, who for all his teasing was even less experienced in romance than Leia, turned scarlet at that. Jude let go of his collar, but Alvin was too busy looking anywhere, but at Jude to move.

Apparently, somewhere during their separation Jude figured out that flirting back was an option and Alvin suddenly found himself on an unknown playing field.

“That… umm… that’s good to know,” he finally managed, his voice more broken and flustered than he ever remembered it being. He finally looked at Jude, who was giving him his signature pleasant smile, but it seemed to curve a bit into a satisfied smug.

“As your instructor I will make sure to explain everything I know about swords if you ever need it,” he added and looked pleased when Alvin tried to hide his face in the collar of his jacket. “Of course, I’m sure that Rowen would also be happy to share his knowledge. With his battlefield expertise he could probably explain all you need to know about weapon usage,” Jude said, this time keeping his face completely straight to Alvin’s utter horror.

“Over my dead body,” Alvin said, finally extracting himself from Jude to get some personal space that he suddenly craved very much. Then he paused, as dread filled him at the prospect of Rowen actually learning about Alvin’s failed teasing attempt. “Please, don’t tell him about this.”

“Only if you continue with your training and take good care of your sword,” Jude replied, handing the greatsword back to Alvin.

Alvin only groaned as he admitted to himself that he had utterly lost this fight.

*

“So Alvin learned martial arts for his rehabilitation?” Jude asked. Alvin felt a bit weird having Leia tell everyone about his past. He was used to being vague about the topic, so that people wouldn’t learn just how pathetic he used to be. The only story more depressing than that of his injury was how he had to go to Talim a year later than he had planned.

“Yeah, he was in a coma for a long time, apparently. I mean, I only heard about it. I wasn’t even born back then,” Leia admitted.

“It was a bit weird hearing you are childhood friends given your age gap,” Jude admitted.

“Yes, it may sound weird. His amnesia aside, Alfred had some memory problems after he woke up from the coma and would sometimes forget things. Like, he wouldn’t remember what happened the other day. Due to that other kids his age started feeling he was weird and avoided him.”

“Does he still have memory problems?” Jude asked. Leia sighed as she recalled more of the past.

“No, luckily they disappeared as he grew up, but I remember one time when I was very small... I was very upset with him because he forgot a promise he made to me. I didn’t really understand at that time that it wasn’t his fault. I hit him with my training staff so hard he passed out,” she explained with an awkward laugh.

“Ah, yes, I think he mentioned that he almost died when he was younger.” 

Leia looked extremely troubled at that.

“Died?! Ah, no, he was just joking! I mean, he fainted so everyone were worried, but it’s not like he would die from one little poke, right?” she said quickly, sweating uncomfortably. “Right?”

“Ahaha…” Jude replied awkwardy. “Alvin’s sturdy. I’m sure he would manage… probably.”

“Probably?” Leia asked, violently shaking Jude by his shoulders. “What do you mean probably?”

Ah, youth.

*

Alvin woke up startled that night.

The blurry memories immediately disappeared into the void, leaving Alvin with deep unease and familiar feeling of fear.

Maybe it was because Leia mentioned the past.

He used to have that nightmare a lot after he woke from the coma. He had always suspected that those were his memories of the accident, but he could barely piece anything out of them.

He could only remember the fear... the shaking. Everything was shaking. Something was wrong. He had been separated from his parents and then… darkness.

Alvin screwed his eyes shut, trying to take deep breaths. Luckily it didn’t seem like anyone else woke up because of him.

He let himself fall back onto the bed. He didn’t have time to indulge old nightmares when there were so many uncertainties in his present.

*

There was something off about the way Jude would look at him sometimes. Alvin noticed only now that he could compare it with Leia. It was obvious that both of them looked at him with some fondness, even if it was different in its nature.

Fondness which he didn’t deserve, but that was not the point.

The point was that he finally got a grasp of what was so different about it.

Unlike Leia, Jude would look at him with envy.

It was puzzling really, because other than his questionable people skills that he somehow made up for with his positive disposition, Jude was much more capable than Alvin in every other aspect. Smarter, better at combat, more used to making quick decisions. There was literally nothing that Alvin felt was particularly enviable about him for someone like Jude.

And yet, Alvin knew his intuition was right.

He would also be lying if it said he disliked it, because honestly, he almost forgot the joy of having someone look up to him. Leia used to, back when she was small and Alvin took great pride in acting as her older brother, but with time that adoration turned into a regular friendship. Leia still liked to listen to his stories, but there was much less awe in her and much more simple curiosity now. A bored girl wanting to experience the vast world through him.

It was flattering in a way that someone as extraordinary as Jude took notice of him. Alvin didn’t even realize much he liked the attention until now. He, of course, also liked it when Milla gave him attention. He was beginning to realize that he was willing to go surprisingly far for it. Just to have Milla smile at him and say he had helped… it made him feel like he was finally doing something useful with his life.

But Jude… he hadn’t really done anything special to get his attention and yet it was there. No, it was more than that.

Milla would probably leave him behind the moment he became too slow to keep up with her pace. She would surely be regretful about it, but she wouldn’t let anyone interfere with her mission.

Jude was different. Jude needed him. At least to some extent that was hard to define. Actually, Alvin realized that ever since they reunited his feelings had been surprisingly hard to define. There was a strange feeling of fragile balance, like walking at the edge of a precipice. His instincts were shouting at him not to pursue those thoughts, but it was hard not to indulge in thinking that someone enjoyed his presence despite resenting him a bit.

He tilted his head watching idly as Jude talked with Elize about something. Teepo floated around them shouting random nonsense. For a second Jude raised his head and his eyes met Alvin’s. He quickly moved his head back to Elize to answer her question, but something shifted in his posture. Like a cog just slightly out of place.

It only then occurred to Alvin that maybe, just maybe, the amount of attention he had been giving Jude recently was a sign of something too.

*

They ran into Ivar again.

Alvin was happy that Leia was with him this time, as he could happily gossip with her about his weirdness. Still, the letter that Ivar mentioned was weird. Someone was clearly scheming something, but Milla didn’t seem to think too much about it.

Alvin sighed as he decided to keep his suspicions to himself.

*

“Alvin, is… is it true you don’t remember your past?” Elize asked when they were a day away from Xian Du. “Jude told me.”

“Oh, yeah… yes, that’s true,” Alvin admitted, belatedly remembering that Elize also didn’t remember much of her past. “Is it bugging you?”

“No!” she shouted in denial.

“Maybe a bit,” Teepo admitted a second later on her behalf.

Alvin smiled.

“Come here,” he said, before seating the girl on his knees, so that she didn’t have to sit on the ground. He was silent for a second, as he prepared the story in his head, before starting. “When I was six years old I ended up in an accident. I don’t remember it, but apparently, I hit my head so hard that I forgot everything that happened and became unable to channel mana,” he explained.

“Wait, so you really can’t use mana?!” Teepo shouted in surprise.

“Nope. And I ended up unconscious for more than a year,” he added.

“That’s horrible,” Elize said emphatically.

“Yeah, after I woke up it was difficult for me to move and I would sometimes forget things, so a lot of people would make fun of me for that,” he continued. Elize was a smart girl, so he didn’t want to lie to her about that. “For a long time I didn’t have any friends because of that…”

“Stupid bullies,” Teepo said, he tried to sound threatening, but it was obvious he was sympathizing with Alvin.

“But then as I trained under Master Sonia, I ended up helping her take care of her daughter and I managed to become friends with her. She didn’t mind the fact that I forgot things… most of the time. And would support me.”

“Are you saying it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember things?” Elize asked.

Alvin smiled.

“Even if your memories disappeared, the friends you made would stay by your side. And you made a lot of friends since leaving Hamil, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I became friends with you, and Jude, and Drissel, and Milla, and Rowen, and… I’m not sure I want to be friends with Leia,” she finished pouting.

“And I will always stay your friend!” Teepo added.

“We will be counting on you, Teepo,” Alvin said and the mascot beamed at him.

“Thanks, Alvin,” Elize said after a moment of silence. “I think I feel better now.”

“Anything for you, my lady,” Alvin said fondly, helping Elize get up.

“Jude really was right, talking to you really made me feel better,” the girl admitted happily. “No wonder he likes talking with you so much.”

“What can I say, I’m a great guy.”

“He also said not to believe everything you say, because you are a liar and like to tease people,” Teepo added, while chuckling.

Alvin hung his head in defeat, as Elize happily skipped away.

“Kids these days are so harsh…”


	3. Love and Betrayal in Xian Du

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't weekend yet, but I feel like posting this chapter earlier, since my life has been stupidly stressful lately and I just want to feel like I can at least make someone else's day better with a new chapter.
> 
> I should probably warn that this is the spiciest the romance aspect will get. There will be more shippy scenes, but nothing quite like this chapter has to offer. 
> 
> Also, fun fact, I'm actually that one person in the world who does ship Jude and Presa. So while it is only a past relationship for this fic, I was quite invested in that plotline and have figured out the whole extended backstory for when they were together XD

Jude was on edge the moment they entered Xian Du. And that was before a boulder almost crushed Leia shortly after he ran off somewhere. Alvin decided he had reached the limit on his recent habit of pretending not to notice things. So when Jude rejoined them later, Alvin took the initiative.

“Is everything alright?” he asked when the party decided to rest for today and try to find wyverns tomorrow.

Jude froze at the question, but then gave Alvin the most unconvincing smile he had ever seen.

“It’s alright, it’s just… returning here…” Jude couldn’t seem to find words.

“Wait, is Xian Du your hometown?” Alvin asked curiously. Elize had mentioned how this place looked familiar, so maybe Jude was also from here. His past was still almost as much of a mystery as when they first met.

“Ummm… not exactly hometown, but, well, you could say I grew up here,” Jude finally admitted, as if he needed a moment to decide what exactly he wanted to share. Alvin had a feeling he really wouldn’t like the complete version of Jude’s backstory. So far all the hints he had gathered made Alvin suspect that Jude was an orphan forced to fend for himself since he was small.

“Oh, is there somewhere you would want to visit?” Alvin asked, deciding to settle for a hopefully safe question. “I would be happy to accompany you!”

Jude seemed torn, but ended up nodding.

*

Xian Du was a beautiful city and Alvin certainly enjoyed discovering some more obscure parts of it. It was also the first time in a long while since he was alone with Jude and it made him notice things. Like the fact that he usually didn’t smile often, but seemed to light up when he explained the history of Xian Du in a staggering detail. Or the fact that his grip on Alvin’s hand, as they maneuvered through the crowded marketplace was strong and confident. Or how adorably apologetic Jude was when four bandits tried to ambush them, while Jude was attempting to show Alvin a shortcut, because he wanted to show Alvin the best parts of the city, not its underbelly. And well, Alvin would definitely not forget how soft Jude’s lips were when they stopped running from where they left four defeated bandit to hide and wait out the commotion and they were leaning on each other laughing and smiling and then Jude pulled him by the collar and…

When Alvin’s brain finally recovered he almost fell down at the realization of what exactly was happening. Jude looked confused at his panicked reaction.

“Are you okay?” Jude asked slowly, tilting his head. It cost Alvin much to not get distracted by how much his eyes seemed to gleam gold in the dim light of the sunset.

“I… uh… we…” Alvin stuttered, because for all his posturing he was a certified virgin and this was his first kiss. Also, while a part of him that seemed to be located closer to his crotch than his brain insisted on continuing, a more rational part of Alvin screamed at him to get a grip and not make out with someone in the streets.

“Was I no good?” Jude asked, immediately making an apologetic expression.

“No!” Alvin assured him quickly, because that was definitely not the case here. “You were great, it’s just…” Why did his mind had to stop working the moment he kissed someone for the first time, damnit?! “We shouldn’t do it here…”

“Oh, you want to go to the inn,” Jude said in realization.

Alvin almost agreed, because he definitely wanted to go to the inn to rethink his whole life, safely hidden under the blankets. He barely stopped himself when he realized that Jude had _very different implications_ in mind. 

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said. Jude’s face immediately fell and he had _no right_ to look so utterly disappointed. “I… we aren’t even dating.”

Despite all the posturing he did to appear as a city boy and not the country bumpkin he was at heart, Alvin had to admit that his views on dating and marriage were probably old-fashioned and included a lot more flowers and dates and much less making out in dark alleys. 

By which he meant no making out in alleys. Jude was a terrible influence on him.

“Oh, do you want to?” Jude asked immediately, his face lighting up again. The joy in his voice heavily hinted at the fact that he found the prospect of actually dating less probable than one-night stand. 

It was a somewhat depressing realization.

“Yes,” Alvin answered, definitely not using his brain to think at that moment, because his conscience immediately kicked him after that statement. “No! I mean, aren’t you… are you okay with that?”

Jude for a moment had an incredulous look on his face, as if he found the concept of someone worrying about his feelings ridiculous, but then it shifted into something gentler.

“Oh, right, you must be worried about how it would look to outsiders. I remember reading that the age of consent in Rashugal is higher than what is acceptable in Auj Oule.” Jude must have decided that _this_ must be the reason as to why Alvin didn’t just jump at the opportunity. He seamlessly slipped into his bookworm mode much to Alvin’s horror. “It wasn’t something that I experienced much during my travels so I ended up forgetting about this detail. Apparently, it’s because Auj Oule tribe’s are usually ruled by the strongest person in the clan, so there were cases of very young rulers who would enter politically beneficial marriages. As a result, the acceptable age of consent in Auj Oule had never been officially established and varies between the various clans. For example—”

“That... that’s enough,” Alvin said, feeling his ears burn. Jude was smiling at him, probably happy with his rationalizations. Alvin wasn’t even sure _where_ to begin correcting him on the misunderstanding that had just occurred. He didn’t even realize that Jude’s young appearance bothered him so much. Did he have some bad experiences in the past when it came to dating to develop such hangups about how he appeared next to someone else?

“So, you don’t have to be worried about someone judging you about being close to me,” Jude summed up. “Although we would probably need to watch out when we returned to Rashugal. It would be bad if I caused you trouble with my carelessness.”

They barely spent an afternoon together and Alvin was already discovering new depths of Jude’s lack of self-esteem. It was incredible in an entirely different way than their kiss was. By which he meant it was absolutely terrible and he felt as if Jude had punched him into gut repeatedly. Alvin wanted to say something reassuring, but he couldn’t find any words, so he hugged Jude instead, hoping to get the message across.

“I… give me some time to think about this, okay?” he finally said. Not having to look at Jude’s face seemed to help. He could feel the mercenary nod in answer.

They stayed like that for several minutes, until the sun set and they ended up returning to others.

*

Milla’s not-very-detailed plan to steal wyverns predictably ended with the owner of said wyverns having understandable concerns. Alvin was almost sure they would add assault and wyvern-stealing to their ever growing list of crimes, but somehow the situation ended up resolved with the owner agreeing to lend them wyverns if they win the colosseum tournament as the clan’s Champions.

“It’s actually a great honour to represent a clan,” Jude explained to them later. Leia seemed to drown him out, but Alvin nodded in interest. Somehow any topic sounded more interesting when Jude explained it. Not to mention it seemed that Jude was filled with some sort of manic energy these days and Alvin didn’t mind helping him vent it out through his rants. “I remember all the kids pretending to be the Champions of various clans during the last tournament. Everyone was looking forward to it, betting and gossiping about the various participants.”

“Oh, I remember that woman, Karla, mentioning that the winner was twelve years old,” Alvin added, to keep the conversation going. “It must have been inspiring.”

“Yes, I didn’t have money to get into the arena and see it for myself, but it was one of the things that motivated me to try to work harder and become a mercenary,” Jude admitted bashfully. “Knowing that there was someone only a bit older than me, who was capable of winning against the odds…”

“Yeah, that sounds incredible,” Alvin admitted. He wondered what kind of person that twelve years old boy was to fight so hard. His conviction must have been almost as strong as Milla’s. “Well, you will get your chance now to prove yourself in the colosseum.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right,” Jude replied with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

*

The tournament quickly went from hard, if slightly amusing, to deadly when the food of all the Champions got poisoned. Alvin barely managed to stop Jude from taking a spoonful by batting his hand away. The mercenary looked confused and hurt, until he realized that all their rivals were now lying on the floor groaning in pain. Jude became horrified at that realization, taking a step back from the table and then running off after Milla who seemed intent on catching the culprit.

As if their situation wasn’t complicated enough they discovered that Isla seemed to know something about Elize.

The conspiracy kept piling up until they ended up confronted with an obviously rigged final fight, and Milla dropping a bombshell on them.

“Jude is a member of Exodus,” she said it matter of factly, as if she hadn’t just explained not long ago how Exodus was an organization of ruthless assassins who were constantly attempting to take her life.

“Wait? Is that true?” Elize asked.

“Were you lying to us?” Teepo accused him.

Jude shrunk at that.

“Lying isn’t really the right word… it’s more like I omitted that fact,” he admitted clumsily.

“Why would you work with them?!” Leia demanded. “Why would you poison those people just to get to Milla.”

“There are circumstances…” Jude started, but something flashed in his eyes upon hearing Leia’s words. “And if you hadn’t noticed I almost ate that poisoned food,” he pointed out, his voice almost vicious. “I’m just a pawn to them, not some high ranked member like you seem to think.”

Leia deflated after that. Milla decided to stop the blaming game in favour of deciding on a plan. With Jude’s insight she ended up coming with a very dangerous if decent gambit.

Despite that Alvin couldn’t help having a bad feeling. 

*

Everything went wrong.

Teepo got kidnapped and Elize ran away after the kidnappers with Jude following her.

When their group finally found them Jude was lying propped on the wall, busy trying to use his healing artes on himself despite the pain that seemed to make his control flicker off and on. Elize was crying in a corner over unmoving Teepo.

“I got one guy, but the other wounded me and ran away with something they took out of Teepo… I couldn’t pursue…” Jude was looking apologetically at Elize’s back.

Alvin checked the wound, while Leia casted her healing artes and Rowen tried to cheer up Elize. Alvin did his best to ignore the corpse lying on the other side of the room and the fact that the broken boy before him was responsible for that death.

Elize ran off after discovering that Teepo lost his memories. Leia followed her. Jude slowly explained to them that Teepo was nothing more than a booster attuned to Elize. A toy communicating her inner feelings.

“And how do you know that?” Alvin asked, as he helped get up, so they could follow the two girls.

“Previous assignment,” Jude said cryptically. Alvin sighed, but didn’t follow with the questions instead concentrating on getting them outside.

*

That particular mystery didn’t endure long.

“Jude… you… you were the one who helped me escape from the lab, right?” Elize asked, when she calmed down a bit. They were now slowly walking back towards the Xian Du.

“Yes, I was tasked with stealing the research from this lab,” Jude confirmed wearily. “And the prototype booster. But I didn’t realize it was put in a toy,” he explained. Alvin had a feeling it was a lie, but he didn’t comment. Some lies were better left untouched.

“So you were the Subject Twenty One?” she questioned. Alvin cringed at that, because he could all too easily imagine Jude and Elize as test subjects for some inhuman experiments.

“To be more precise, I pretended to be him to get into the facility,” he specified. “I knew I wouldn’t fool the researchers for long and well… things certainly escalated quickly.” He chuckled humorlessly, as he looked at the remains of the laboratory.

“Oh,” Elize muttered. She seemed thoughtful. There was a long moment of silence before she spoke again.

“Do you… do you remember what you told me then?” she asked timidly. She seemed afraid of the answer. “When we met.”

Jude nodded slowly, as he looked straight at her.

“It wasn’t a lie, Elize,” he spoke, his voice weary and sounding far too old for someone so young. “You truly are the first friend I ever made.”

Elize didn’t seem to acknowledge his words and just continued to walk on in silence. Alvin felt like giving Jude a hug, an encouraging word, anything… He raised his hand towards Jude’s back, but the betrayal was still too fresh in his memory. 

It was just too painful.

Alvin retracted his hand, feeling ashamed of his weak heart.

*

Alvin thought his feelings were complicated before, but now they felt outright twisted. Milla decided to keep Jude in their party if only to keep an eye on him. Apparently, she deemed him _that_ dangerous, if useful. 

Meanwhile, Alvin had no idea what to think. The betrayal wasn’t truly surprising. He had willfully ignored the evidence staring him into face. Milla had figured out that Jude was a spy without much problem and Alvin had to finally confront that truth as well.

The only reason why he didn’t figure it out, was because he wanted to believe that Jude was a good person.

No, _he was_ a good person.

It didn’t add up. Jude was thoughtful, good-hearted, gentle… and a member of a very dangerous organization. And a great kisser. Why not throw it on the top, huh, Alfred?

Alvin sighed. He wasn’t making any progress.

“Where do you think you are going?” Milla’s voice resounded in the lobby. Alvin raised his head from the bench he was lying on to see the Lord of the Spirits looking disapprovingly at their local traitor.

“I just want to visit an acquaintance. It won’t be long,” he promised. Milla crossed her arms at that.

“I don’t trust you,” she said, her face impassive. In return, Jude gave her that one smile that was one part politeness and three parts perfectly cultivated passive-aggressiveness. 

Time to step in.

“I can go with him,” Alvin offered, raising from the bench. Both Milla and Jude looked at him in surprise, probably not expecting someone to join their conversation. “I will make sure he’s not doing anything suspicious.”

“I don’t mind,” Jude said quickly, looking expectantly at Milla.

She nodded.

“Fine, but I will go too.”

Jude seemed less happy about that, but didn’t protest.

“So where are we going?” Milla asked, as they exited into the sunny streets of Xian Du.

Jude was silent for a moment, before answering.

“You will understand when we get there,” he said, his voice sounding more vulnerable than usual.

*

The room wasn’t anything fancy and it probably didn’t need to be when the only person living in it was bed-ridden. Alvin looked at the soft black hair and the amber eyes of the woman lying on the bed. Even her features were familiar.

Jude really took after his mother.

“I’m sorry, my husband and son aren’t here,” the woman said.

“It’s alright,” Jude assured her gently. “I know they are busy.”

“You are really kind person to visit me,” the woman insisted with a grateful smile. “Even Julius is so busy these days…”

“I heard he’s working for a merchant caravan, so he will be away for a few more days,” Jude suggested.

“Ah, yes, he sends me letters,” she agreed, pointing to a huge stack of letters lying on the nightstand. Even from the distance Alvin could easily identify Jude’s neat handwriting. “He’s such a hardworking son. I’m afraid he will overwork himself,” she admitted.

“I will tell him you are worried for him if I met him,” Jude promised.

The woman’s face wrinkled in sadness.

“Yesterday he told me he would become a doctor so he could heal my disease,” she said, worry and fondness both clear on her face. “I wish we had money to send him to school…”

“I’m sure he understands. Besides, it’s not easy to become a doctor,” Jude replied sadly.

“He’s so hardworking… I’m sure he could become a great doctor…” the woman insisted, but her voice seemed to drift away. She was silent and Alvin though she drifted into sleep, until suddenly her eyes opened in fright. “Julius? Where is he?” she asked in panic. “Julius? Julius?”

Jude was upon her in minutes, pushing some sort of medicine into her hand and forcing her to take it. She calmed down a short moment after drinking it.

“...I’m sure he will grow into a fine man…” she said, her voice distant. “...and then my husband will return to us… we will be fam… again...”

She drifted to sleep after that. Alvin realized Jude was clenching his hand so hard it must have hurt at this point.

“We should go,” the mercenary said quickly moving towards the exit.

Alvin could hear him mutter, “Goodbye, mom,” as he left.

*

Isla awaited Jude outside and he excused himself for a moment. Milla didn’t seem to mind. Isla had already revealed her hand to them before, so Milla was satisfied just watching her and Jude from distance.

Alvin, whose second name was curiosity, pretended to be interested in what was happening on the plaza below, as he stopped in a spot from which he could barely hear their words.

“...I just want to have a fresh start,” Isla pleaded. Alvin felt a pang of sympathy for her despite himself. Even if she was the one who told Exodus about Elize and Teepo, she didn’t deserve living in fear. “I finally found happiness!”

There was a moment of silence that felt heavy. Alvin gave in and turned around, pretending to follow the movement of a cloud, while stealing a brief glance at Jude. His face was barely holding itself together. He was a terrible actor.

“It’s really not polite, Isla,” he said slowly, “to wave _your happiness_ into other people’s faces.”

Isla sputtered, probably realizing she said the wrong thing, but Jude continued, ignoring her.

“I think we have a mutually beneficial partnership at the moment. You will continue to prescribe the medicine for my mother and taking care of her and in return you get to live your happy life,” Jude said levelly. “That’s a really good deal if you ask me. I wouldn’t try to renegotiate it if I were you.”

Isla started crying realizing there was no escape for her from the clutches of Exodus.

Alvin couldn’t help wondering if there was any escape for Jude, as he returned to them with a downcast expression.

*

“You don’t like to hurt people,” Alvin commented at one point, as their party traveled towards Kanbalar. It was an idle observation, really. But it felt a bit profound when he said it loudly. A traitor who disliked hurting people. What an oxymoron.

“Nobody should enjoy hurting others,” Jude replied, as if it was obvious.

“And yet, here we are trying to stop evil guys from using a big and scary mana canon,” Alvin deadpanned.

Jude looked as if he wanted to argue, but stopped himself.

“I don’t think they consider themselves bad guys. People just don’t think in such terms. They probably have their own dreams and ambitions. From their point of view they might even see themselves as heroes,” Jude replied.

“That’s a kind way of looking at it,” Alvin replied. “It’s probably easier to just think that they are true incorrigible evil.”

“It certainly is,” Jude admitted with heavy voice that suggested that the topic hit close to home.

Alvin scrambled to try and find a new conversation topic and not think of what unsavory things Jude probably did in his past.

“Was it true? That you wanted to be a doctor?” he finally asked. He’d been meaning to ask about it ever since Jude’s mom mentioned it.

Jude nodded.

“Yeah… before I learned that you need to be good at spirit artes to actually succeed in that field,” Jude admitted quietly. “So I gave up on that dream and just dedicated myself to working hard to support mom. I would help the merchants and do odd jobs… but you don’t get enough money out of it. Not enough to support a sick person anyway, so…”

“You became a mercenary,” Alvin finished. “I get that part… but why the hell get yourself involved with Exodus.”

There was a pause. Alvin could see Jude biting his lower lip. Whatever the mercenary was remembering wasn’t good.

“They are the only ones who can provide the necessary medicine for my mom,” Jude finally said, his voice quiet and tense. “I didn’t have much choice.”

Alvin nodded. He was still curious about Jude’s past, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

He settled for a hopefully less invasive topic.

“So your real name is Julius, huh?” he said with a cheeky smile.

“Please, don’t call me that,” Jude said immediately, no humour in his voice.

“That’s not a bad name. I mean, maybe a bit outfashioned, but not so grandpa sounding as mine.” Thanks to Leia, everybody already knew his real name. It was a pain. Thankfully, they were already used to calling him Alvin at this point. “Why do you dislike it?”

“My father gave it to me,” Jude said. Hurt flashed in his eyes, as he lowered them.

“You hate him for abandoning your mom,” Alvin guessed, trying to sound sympathetic.

“Yes… my mom was a powerful mana user. I think he hoped she would give him a son with powerful arte control. I… inherited so much from her... but not that talent…” Jude admitted.

“Do you wish you did?” Alvin asked not looking at him. 

“I don’t know,” Jude admitted, shaking his head. “I doubt it would change much, but maybe…”

Alvin waited for him to continue.

“Maybe what?” he prompted when the silence stretched.

“Maybe I could be a doctor if I did,” Jude answered, looking sadly into the sky.

Alvin wanted to tell him he could still become one, just like Leticia did, just like Alvin himself almost did… but the words seemed to die on his tongue.

He could barely bring himself to trust Jude, let alone sincerely encourage him.

*

Alvin found himself feeling suspicious the moment king of Auj Oule agreed to the audience. He quickly glanced at Jude, as if making sure that the mercenary wasn’t doing anything suspicious.

He looked tense.

“Not used to meeting kings, huh?” Alvin started the conversation. His own anxiety was pretty terrible at the moment. Almost as bad when he was waiting for the acceptance letter from Talim, only to not get it. He later discovered that it had gotten lost somewhere along the way, but at that point the school year had already started and he was forced to skip a year.

It was a pretty disheartening experience to say the least.

“It’s not even that. It’s more of a meeting role model thing,” Jude admitted with an awkward laugh.

It took Alvin a moment to remember that the king was the young tournament winner that Jude used to look up to.

“I’m sure you will make a great first impression,” Alvin said.

Jude laughed lightly, as if he found the joke actually funny. 

“I hope I will,” he replied with a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

*

So the audience involved Jiao and the crazy red chick who almost murdered Alvin in Fennmont. The black haired man was the only unknown, but Rowen seemed to know him, so apparently it was an old friends meeting for everyone with the exception of the king.

It must have sucked for him to be the only one odd out.

Even Alvin’s ironic musings weren’t enough to quell the unease he felt. King Gaius reminded him very much of Milla. A man with convictions so strong he could crush mountains with them. With him and Milla in the room it was an unstoppable object meeting an immovable force. Or something like that. Philosophy might have been a mandatory lecture, but he had slept through most of it. Howe’s Egg was the only thing he actually remembered, because the name sounded so stupid it burned itself into his skull together with all the other pieces of unnecessary knowledge.

Alvin stepped out pleading the king to listen to their side before he knew it. He couldn’t imagine Gaius and Milla seeing eye to eye, but maybe if he said it— 

“Let me tell you why I invited you here. Maxwell. I know you stole the key from the laboratory in Rashugal. Hand it over immediately.”

—it would amount to absolutely nothing, yeah, Alvin should have seen that coming.

Milla refused in no uncertain terms, citing human weakness as her reason. It stung, but Alvin couldn’t argue. He didn’t want anyone wielding the Lance’s power either.

Alvin couldn’t help but wonder who would break the stalemate first.

It was Wingul.

“So maybe you will tell us where the key is?” he asked, his words as pleasant as his paper-thin patience seemed to allow him.

Alvin didn’t have to look behind him to know who those words were addressed to. There was a terrible sense of deja vu, as Jude slowly stepped forward. 

“What?” Leia asked, because she hadn’t been with their party that long and wasn’t aware that Jude’s betrayal wasn’t a one-off thing, but a pattern. A terrible cycle of betrayed trust and acceptance.

“Jude… no,” Alvin pleaded, knowing exactly that no amount of words were capable of fixing this situation.

“You can’t!” Elize protested.

Jude gave them a sad smile that was more painful than anything else he could offer, as he stopped on the other side of the throne room.

“Sorry, I’m afraid this is a part of my job,” he said with a regretful smile.

Wingul looked at the mercenary with narrowed eyes.

“Jude. Who did Maxwell entrust the key to?” he questioned.

“The handmaid Ivar,” Jude replied without hesitation. “She ordered him to return to Nia Khera together with the key, so he should be there, feeling disgruntled about being sent to the sidelines,” he added helpfully.

Everything felt pretty terrible, because getting betrayed by Jude apparently was not getting easier, but more difficult instead. Alvin felt so many things at once, it was like he could burst at any moment.

As if sensing the worst possible moment to enter, the blonde chick who they had once thrown a monster at joined their little gathering of acquaintances. She seemed intent to pass a message to Gaius, but froze when she saw the mercenary.

“Jude?” she asked visibly surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Jude’s face flashed in surprise, before it morphed into his most generic fake smile.

“Presa. It’s nice to see you are doing well,” he replied as if he hadn’t been the one to throw a monster on top of her the last time they met. There was something in the way they acted that set Alvin off. 

It was obvious in the way Presa seemed torn between giving her report to Gaius and further interrogating Jude, and the way Jude deflected her question that there was a conflict between them. Gaius ordered her to share her intel, finally breaking the tension in the air.

Alvin was relieved for a second before he learned that someone attacked Hamil. He looked quickly at Elize, who had a distressed look on her face. What was worse, it meant a war was starting, and soon more people could get hurt. Alvin shuddered.

At least the news were dire enough that Gaius deemed their party unimportant in comparison and dispatched his lackies to deal with them. It wasn’t much trouble to escape from the regular soldiers, expanding on their title of Rashugal’s Most Wanted. Alvin wondered if adding the second country to their list meant they were now Rieze Maxia’s Most Wanted or if the titles should be counted separately. Rashugal and Auj Oule Most Wanted. Ah, no, it was too much of a mouthful.

The musings seemed inconsequential, but they helped Alvin calm down and not think about being useless once more as his comrades gathered the mana to open the gate. Or how Jude was waving at them as they escaped from the throne room. As if he hadn’t just betrayed them. Again.

The castle gate opened and the group darted outside.

*

Presa was waiting for them at the city gates. 

“Presa, was it? If you’ve been Gaius’ henchwoman all along…” Milla said and Alvin felt his stomach clenching when the conversation was heading, “Then you’ve been after us ever since we escaped Fennmont.”

“Jude sold you to His Highness way back in Nia Khera,” she explained.

Alvin clenched his fist.

“He was on your side the whole time,” the medic said, barely managing to keep his voice even. However, the woman merely scoffed at that.

“Hmph, hardly. He’s no one’s ally…” she said and seeing Alvin’s surprised reaction she added. “Take it from someone who got to know him. He will only stay on your side as long as he needs to achieve his goals. Don’t let his cute little face fool you. He will cut off anyone he doesn’t need without hesitation, regardless of what he may feel. Trusting him is a height of foolishness.”

Wingul emerged from the gate talking about the Lance of Kresnik, but Alvin could barely hear him through the rush of blood he felt. It was strange to hear someone talk so casually about Jude, about him being a remorseless betrayer.

Alvin was forced to pay a bit more attention as Wingul underwent a strange transformation, his hair turning white and his language changing into some guttural nonsense. Apparently, the boosters could make you look exactly like a student right before the exam—one who had been studying for the last 48 hours, drank some illegal intelligence-boosting concoction and had lost it at this point. 

Good thing Elize’s booster didn’t work like that. He’d rather never see her getting weird like Wingul.

The fight wasn’t easy, but the team had a lot of frustration to work through at this point and if Alvin’s swings were a bit more vicious and Elize’s dark magic even more threatening than usual nobody commented on it. Before long they defeat the two enemies and continued their escape.

Alvin hoped he wouldn’t have to see their little traitor anytime soon as their group ran towards Xian Du.

*

He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Jude sitting innocently on a crate when they entered Xian Du, talking with a merchant with a pleasant smile as if he was just a curious tourist and not a two-faced, traitorous— 

Jude noticed them and got up from the crate waving happily.

“You are finally here!” he called, jogging to them. Alvin actually wanted to know how the hell Jude managed to reach Xian Du before them, considering that they were escaping as fast as humanly possible. Then again, Jude was the fastest person on their team, so maybe he should have just naturally assumed that there was no way they could lose him so easily.

“Not thanks to you,” Milla said coldly.

Jude scratched his cheek with a troubled expression.

“Actually, I did make a contribution. I told Gaius you were escaping to the west, so you could reach here with no problem,” he explained. “I knew you would have no trouble getting out of the castle, so I only needed to mislead them long enough so you could reach here.”

Alvin felt a headache mounting. They had been caught in Jude’s scheming again and were being buried in his excuses. It felt familiar in the worst way possible.

“You lied to us!” Elize shouted.

That seemed to hit Jude where it hurts. He visibly winced at that.

“I’m very sorry Elize,” he said, averting his gaze. “I didn’t want to lie to you, but there wasn’t really any other way to get the wyverns,” he apologized.

“What do you mean?” Milla asked, no, ordered him to explain. 

“Getting the permission to use wyverns was a part of my deal with Gaius. At that point he already knew who you were so it was the only way to get him to agree,” Jude explained. “Unfortunately, I needed to make a show out of betraying you for this setup to work. If he caught on, he would back out of his promise and it would be all for nothing.”

Milla sighed.

“I trust that the wyverns are ready,” she said.

Jude nodded happily, a helpful smile appearing on his face.

“Yes, Yurgen had already prepared them for flight, we only need to give him a word,” Jude confirmed.

“Great, then let’s not waste time,” Milla decided, but Alvin stopped her.

“Wait, before that, there’s something I need to ask,” he said, looking at Jude. The mercenary tilted his head, as if he wasn’t sure what to expect. “I have enough of your secrets, so tell me. What’s the deal with you and that blonde chick?”

Jude didn’t seem to expect the question. He froze, before a troubled expression appeared on his face.

“It’s… complicated,” he said slowly. As if there were relationships in his life that _weren’t_ complicated. “We were both working as spies in the same city. About two years ago.”

That was obviously the abridged version.

“Annnnnd?” Alvin prompted, unsatisfied with the short version.

“It was hard and demanding job. For both of us. You may actually remember Presa, she worked at Talim at that time,” Jude added and suddenly Alvin remembered her.

She was that receptionist who liked to tease him. He felt a bit stupid for not remembering her earlier, but then again with the drastic change of attire it was no surprise he didn’t connect the two of them.

“At that time we met accidentally,” he continued. “Things happened and well… We grew _close_.” His words felt distant except for the last part. It was obvious that he still had feelings for her. Despite that, his voice grew colder with his next words. “However, that only lasted until we learned of our actual identities. We... parted on bad terms. You don’t have to worry. I’m sure she will not hesitate to strike me down when we meet next time and I’m not planning to hold back either,” he assured them. As if this was the problem. “Especially after I lied to them about your escape route.”

Alvin sighed, not really having words for the amount of bullshit Jude put them through. His expression must have gotten to Jude, because he lowered his head.

“Look, I’m truly sorry, but at this point there was nothing I could do,” he said.

“You could have _not_ betrayed us in Nia Khera,” Milla pointed out. Jude gave her a wry smile.

“Sure, I could have refused to sell Gaius information so that the whole Chimeriad would attack you right after your failed summoning. I’m sure you and Alvin would be enough to protect yourselves against that attack,” he pointed out, his voice bordering on sarcasm. Apparently, forcing him to divulge some of his past put him on edge, making him lose the composure he had been forcing.

Milla raised her brow.

“You wouldn’t fight with us?” she asked tilting her head in disapproval.

“I would already be dead in that hypothetical scenario. You met Gaius. He would order to cut my head off the moment I refused to give him the information he needed. Or torture me, until I told him all I know,” Jude explained with an exasperated shrug. “I stood no chance against him. I made the best choice I could at that time.”

“You could have not spied on us,” Elize chimed in, obviously angry.

Jude chuckled.

“Of course. I’m sure that without my and Alvin’s help Milla would manage to reach Nia Khera,” he said, his voice perfectly even this time. It was a low blow, but not a lie. Jude _was_ instrumental in getting them that far. “You would probably never meet Alvin if it wasn’t for me,” he pointed out. “So isn’t it good that I lied to everyone?”

Elize seemed to inflate with anger at those words, but Milla swung her hand, gesturing to the girl to back off. Hesitantly, Elize followed her. Milla nodded at her, before looking sharply at Jude, apparently coming to some sort of conclusion.

“We wasted enough time. Let’s go get the wyverns,” she ordered, moving forward without looking back on them.

The rest of the team gave Jude suspicious looks. He seemed to ignore it, his gaze fixed on Milla’s back as he followed her. Alvin sighed.

He wished they could return to the time when everything was simpler.


	4. Rise of Exodus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention this last time, but I wrote this fic before I played Xillia 2. So Jude's real name here has no real deeper meaning. It just felt like a name that fit with the naming conventions of Elympios and started with the same two letters as "Jude". And when I did realize that there is a character with the same name in Xillia 2 I was at 3/4th of this fic and was already attached to Jude's name. So I left it be. 
> 
> Also, I finally finished dividing the story into chapters, though you could probably figure out even without that that we are reaching the halfway point.

Alvin would insist to anyone who bothered to listen that he had many hidden talents. 

Riding wyverns just wasn’t one of them.

Despite being the strongest member of their team in terms of pure physical strength, he had zero experience in handling any sort of animal and wyverns didn’t seem like the kind of thing that a beginner should be attempting to ride.

Which was why it was decided that Jude, Milla and Rowen would be the ones riding each of three wyverns. After taking into account their weight it was decided to match them with Alvin, Leia and Elize respectively.

Alvin was hesitant as he sat behind Jude. The unease he felt towards the mercenary still lingered and he was very aware that Jude could probably manage to throw him off the wyvern without much problem.

“Please, hold on tight,” Jude said, his voice betraying his anxiety, as he took the reins. “I’ve never ridden a wyvern and I’m pretty sure they aren’t exactly like other mounts.”

“More scaly and have wings,” Alvin suggested. “And we will definitely die if we fall off.”

Jude laughed nervously.

“Yes, that’s precisely it.”

Alvin felt like throwing another terrible joke to ease his anxiety, but at this point Milla gave them the signal and whatever Alvin wanted to say died in the loud swoosh of the wyverns’ wings.

Their wyvern also started to take off and Alvin hastily threw his arms around Jude, once again remembering his fear of falling off. There was a sudden feeling of weightlessness and before he knew it there was a lot of wind in his face and the sky felt much closer than it did before.

“Maybe don’t hold _that_ tight,” Jude shouted, so that Alvin could hear him through the noise. However, Alvin was too panicked to stop painfully digging his fingers into the mercenary, as the air currents batted into them, Jude barely managing to keep wyvern on course. Alvin almost lost an eye, when Jude’s scarf slapped him in the face, due to the strong wind. 

This violent ascent continued for several more minutes and Alvin was about to label this as the most traumatic travelling experience of his life, when they flew into a cloud to come out on the other side of it.

The sun shone into their faces, as they appeared above the clouds. Now that they stopped ascending against the currents, the wind lessened allowing them to look around.

The sight that spread before them was breathtaking. The sky stretched so far it made Alvin’s head spin. And it was so blue he could almost lose himself in it.

“It’s beautiful,” he heard Jude whisper in awe. Alvin looked down to see Jude’s face stretched in a wide smile as he took in the scenic view. It was the first honest smile Alvin had seen on him in a long time.

Much too long time.

They flew in silence after that. Alvin didn’t want to deconcentrate Jude, who despite his previous warnings was doing an amazing job handling the wyvern. Alvin wished he had so many stupidly specific hidden talents. He almost felt like calling Jude a liar, but he knew it would be immature and the wyvern’s back was definitely a very bad place for having arguments. Probably somewhere in the top ten worst places.

He sighed. He wanted to escape his thoughts, but it was a bit hard when he was forced to hold on to one of them, so he wouldn’t fall of the wyvern. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been strangely quiet?” Jude asked suddenly. His voice was slightly nervous.

“Just thinking about stuff,” Alvin replied vaguely. “Didn’t want to be a nuisance while you are working hard to make sure we don’t turn into pancakes.”

“Pan… oh, right, from the impact,” Jude muttered, then chuckled, as if it was actually a good joke. It was simply unfair how endearing Jude was, even when Alvin was trying very hard to hate him. “Don’t worry, I think I got a hang on it.”

“I really hope so. How long do you think it will be until we reach Fennmont’s outskirts?”

“Probably not long. Those wyverns are really fast,” Jude said, sounding very impressed. “No wonder they have been considered the means of transportation befitting the king of Auj Oule. Did you know? The king and his closest associates, Chimeriad, have access to specially bred and trained wyverns that are said to be the fastest in the whole of Auj Oule.”

“Oh, really?” Alvin muttered, trying not to remember they catastrophic meeting with Gaius and what happened there.

“Yeah, we were all in so much hurry during the audience I forgot to point them out when we were at the entrance. I thought it was just a myth about them being a special breed, but Agria confirmed it for me... even if she kept calling me names through the whole thing,” he explained, sounding exasperated. Alvin tensed, because for all his talent at hiding his insecurities, it was hard to act unphased at hearing Jude casually mention talking with a crazy girl that almost killed Alvin once. Jude must have sensed his unease, because he stilled. “Ah, sorry, I… I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

“What? Being on a first name basis with the whole Chimeriad?” he asked.

“Ah, hardly. I don’t think I ever properly meet Jiao before we threw mushroom spores at him for Elize. And Wingul always looks at me like I’m a stain on the floor, when he thinks nobody is looking, because Gaius was nice to me _once_. At least I assume this is the case, because everything he does seems to revolve around Gaius. Or maybe he learned that I was the one who caused the shutdown of his favourite booster research lab. That’s a good reason too, now that I think about it.”

“When you describe it like that, it sounds like you got caught in some weird love triangle,” Alvin said with a chuckle.

Jude groaned.

“I really wish I could explain that particular misunderstanding, but Wingul is too stubborn to listen to me,” Jude said with a sigh.

“Really? You sounded like you had quite a crush on Gaius,” Alvin teased, curious despite himself.

“I looked up to him! That was it!” Jude insisted. A bit too strongly. However, he seemed to gather himself after this outburst, because his next words were calmer. “And I don’t think I would like being with someone like him…”

“Why not?” Alvin asked. “Too intense?”

“You could say. Don’t you feel inadequate whenever you have to interact with him or Milla?” Jude asked, tilting his head as if he wanted to catch Alvin’s expression. Luckily for Alvin, their current position made it impossible for Jude.

“No,” Alvin lied. “They can be exhausting, sure, but I don’t hate it about them.”

“Really?” Jude didn’t sound like he believed him, but Alvin really wasn’t in the mood to explain his complex feelings for Milla to him. Not that he wanted to share them with anyone ever. He would sooner jump from the wyvern’s back into the ocean to end his embarrassing existence than talk about it.

“You still haven’t told me why you know the crazy red chick,” Alvin pointed out, because two could play the game of deflecting questions.

“I knew her before she joined the Chimeriad,” Jude explained. “At that time she was slaughtering the Rashugal nobles and I needed to stop her from murdering the person I was investigating.”

“Do you have any normal acquaintances?” Alvin asked exasperated.

“You?” Jude said, sounding unsure. Alvin decided not to deign it with an answer.

“Do I want to know how you two hit it off?” he asked.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave her bleeding on the street after I incapacitated her, so I ended up taking care of her,” Jude explained with a shrug. “She was pretty angry at me at first, but then realized we had a lot in common and I think she even started to like me... It’s hard to tell with her, really.”

“Wait, what do you two have in common?” Alvin asked, because he couldn’t think of two people more different than Jude and Agria.

“Uhhh… unhappy family history,” Jude admitted quietly. “She’s actually pretty sharp, you know. She knew just by looking at me.”

“Sharp is a good word for her,” Alvin muttered awkwardly, remembering how she had almost skewered him..

“Her life was actually pretty sad, you know,” Jude continued. “She was an illegitimate child of a noble. She was bullied because of that through her childhood. I’m not really surprised she snapped after the death of her mother.”

There was something vulnerable in his voice. And unspoken question of what would happen if it was Jude who lost his mother. Alvin wasn’t sure, but it couldn’t be good. She was probably the only person who was on Jude’s side at this point.

Involuntarily, he tightened his hold on Jude.

“Alvin?” Jude asked with concern, glancing at him.

“Jude…” Alvin wanted to say something. He wasn’t sure if he would have the right words, but he continued to speak despite that. “Jude, I…”

Whatever he was going to say next got drowned in a terrible screech that suddenly invaded the peaceful atmosphere. Jude’s eyes immediately snapped to the source of the noise and Alvin followed his line of sight to see a giant flying monster emerge from below the clouds.

“Hang on!” Jude shouted, leaning sharply to steer them away from the monster. Unfortunately, it seemed the beast had already decided to make them its dinner, since it chased them with a screech. Alvin could only hang on, as Jude made evasive maneuvers trying to avoid the attacks.

When their group realized that there was no escaping the beast, they all began to descend. They were still far from Fennmont, but when they flew below the clouds they could see the distinct shoreline of Sharilton. The middle of the town wasn’t the best place for an emergency landing, but they didn’t seem to have much choice.

They were halfway down when the beast caught up to them. Alvin could only watch in horror as the wyvern shrieked in pain when the beast attacked it. The attack thankfully missed the human passengers, but now the wyvern wasn’t really diving, but outright falling towards Sharilton.

“When I shout _now_ jump!” Jude ordered.

“What, but…” Alvin wanted to argue, but Jude wasn’t in the mood for it.

“Just do it!” he snapped. He was pouring all his concentration into steering the hurt wyvern onto the land, so they wouldn’t plummet into the sea. Alvin gritted his teeth.

“Okay.”

Jude nodded thankfully. The closer they got to the ground the more it seemed to accelerate to meet them. Alvin closed his eyes, afraid that he would miss his cue from the overwhelming fear of falling to his death.

“Now!!!” Jude’s voice was frantic, but Alvin leaped off the wyvern, immediately opening his eyes. He was still quite high up, but he managed to land without breaking anything, although falling still hurt much more than he would like. However, they were not in the clear yet, as the beast descended on them, choosing Alvin to be its first course.

Alvin refused to go down without a fight, pulling out his greatsword to block the attacks\\. However, his hands were still shaking from the impact of the fall and one of the vicious slashes threw the weapon out of his hands. Without it, Alvin could merely watch as the beast lunged towards him ready to rip him apart.

And then someone pushed him.

Alvin only realized that when he felt the attack missing him, lightly grazing his arm, and heard the sickening noise of ripped flesh and pained scream. Alvin reflexively turned his head. He saw Jude tumble to the ground, bleeding from the wound he took in Alvin’s place. There was an empty look in his eyes, as if Jude was surprised to be in this spot. As if it didn’t occur to him that he would end up hurt and bleeding if he shielded Alvin and the realization was only dawning on him right now. 

Something snapped in Alvin, as he looked at _yet another body of a person he knows, bleeding and broking, and why did it keep happening over and over and over…_

He was upon the monster before he knew it, fury and pain overcoming him to the point where he barely noticed that Milla and the others had safely landed and joined the battle. It was only several minutes later when the monster had been slain that Alvin regained the presence of mind and checked on Jude. Luckily, Elize was more collected than he was and had already begun healing the mercenary.

Jude was half-lying, propped over a box. Alvin couldn’t remember ever seeing him so lifeless and limp. His eyes were unfocused and only his very shallow breaths seemed to indicate that he was still alive. 

“Jude!” Alvin said pleadingly as he checked the extent of the mercenary’s injuries. The wound was serious, as the monster managed to damage some internal organs. Nothing that spirit artes couldn’t heal, but that didn’t change the gravity of the situation. Leia joined them with her own healing spirit artes, while Alvin realized that Rowen was explaining their situation to Driselle and the guard.

“Rowen, ask someone to come with stretchers!” he called. The middle of the street really wasn’t the best place for intensive care.

Rowen nodded and gave orders to a guard, who quickly ran towards the mansion. Alvin gripped Jude’s hand, unable to do anything more until they had transported him to a safe place where he could have access to medical equipment. Elize and Leia were still busy pouring their healing artes into the wound, stopping the internal bleeding and mending some of the damage.

“You idiot, why did you have to jump there…” Alvin muttered. 

Jude stirred and Alvin was startled to realize that the mercenary had been conscious.

“I… didn’t wan… to see… you… hurt… any…” His speech was disjointed, but the message was clear. Alvin could feel tears pooling in his eyes.

“I don’t want to see you hurt, either!” he said loudly, because why couldn’t people understand that. He didn’t want them to sacrifice themselves for him. He really wasn’t worth it.“I don’t want to see my friends hurt!”

Jude tried to smile at that, but it came a bit lopsided. Alvin had no idea how he even managed to do that with the amount of pain he must have been experiencing.

“Yeah… but you …on’t ...eserve ...urt” Jude muttered, before the pain and exhaustion finally caught up to him and he fell into unconsciousness.

At this point Driselle’s servants had arrived with a stretcher and Jude had been transported to the mansion. Alvin followed them, clenching his fist.

“You don’t deserve to be hurt either,” he said to no one in particular. 

He just didn’t know what to do to make this sentiment reach Jude.

*

Their emergency stop in Sharilton had extended to two weeks. While Milla probably wouldn’t mind leaving Jude behind, the wyvern also needed some time for reconvalescension. Alvin found himself with a lot of time and not much to do.

He tried to immerse himself in reading, but that only made him remember that he just wasn’t a book type. This whole journey already taught him way more than his studies ever did.

Alvin didn’t even consider returning to the medical school. He was all too aware that it wasn’t a career that suited him. Maybe…

Maybe he could stay with Milla after this was over?

He liked that idea and even discussed it with Leia and Rowen. 

“You know, if you finally found something that you truly want to do I’m happy for you,” Leia said. “You’ve always seemed so lost. I think you only became a doctor because you wanted to make Leticia proud.”

Alvin sighed as he sat next to Leia.

“You are probably right. I just… I couldn’t help feeling like I didn’t fit in, I guess,” Alvin admitted. It was only after travelling with Milla that he found himself ready to confront those feelings. “Maybe it’s because I can’t use spirit artes, or maybe it’s something else, but I’ve always been trying to act like…”

“Like you are braver than you are,” Leia finished for him.

Alvin nodded, tangling his fingers in his hair.

“I was probably trying to compensate for feeling so useless,” he admitted. Then paused and added with a sigh. “When I was helping take care of you… I think it was the first time someone truly looked up to me. So I tried to act like I was more than I really was.”

“Yeah, I think I only realized it when I was thirteen that you were just a big poser,” Leia said with a chuckle. Alvin tried not to pout at that. 

“Can’t you be gentler! I’m revealing my heart to you and you just stomped all over it.”

“So sensitive~” Leia stuck a tongue at him, but her expression softened into a fond one. “But I guess that’s why I ended up so attached to you. No matter how much you faked things I never doubted you had a good heart underneath all your stupid lies,” she said, gently knocking on his chest where his heart was. He laughed.

“That’s some roundabout compliment, but I will take it,” Alvin laughed, pulling Leia closer into a hug. “After all it’s my fault you also grew into a liar.”

Leia stiffened, but didn’t try to escape his embrace.

“I must be getting transparent,” she muttered.

“No, I just have more years on you,” he admitted, ruffling her hair. “Had more time to gain experience, is all. So tell me, what sort of lies did you write in that note you gave to Milla?”

Leia swatted his hand, giving him an annoyed look. Alvin laughed.

“It’s not your business!” she huffed.

“Let me guess then, it was a sob story about how you were worried that your precious older brother would do something stupid and you absolutely needed to keep an eye on him,” Alvin said and judging by the embarrassed look on Leia’s face he was guessing right.

“It’s not completely a lie you know,” Leia said, turning her head and pouting. Alvin realized that maybe he had teased her too much, so he dropped the cheerfulness.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t much of a support for you recently,” he said, his voice more serious. “I should have realized that—”

“It’s okay,” Leia interrupted him. “I would still sneak out even if you remembered to write,” she admitted. “Leronde without you was so small I was starting to feel like I was slowly being smothered to death.”

Alvin chuckled.

“I should have guessed you were a little vagabond at heart,” he teased her.

“You say that, but I thought you would be the one to start travelling after this was over,” she admitted, looking carefully at Alvin. He tensed under her scrutiny. “Don’t get me wrong. If you want to keep helping Milla it’s totally fine with me. As long as you will end up happy I don’t care what you will be doing, but I would sooner bet that you would become a mercenary like Jude and travel with him or something.”

Alvin sputtered at that. Leia gave him a knowing smirk.

“What, you thought I wouldn’t notice your little crush?” she asked deviously. “You shouldn’t underestimate your childhood friend.”

Alvin coughed.

“Look, the kid is cute, I will give him that, but…” he started, mentally preparing _the list of reasons why he shouldn’t date Jude_ , which at this point was pretty long and well referenced. He’d been constantly adding to it ever since they left Kanblar.

However, Leia sighed interrupting his tangent.

“Alfred, when did rationalizing ever help you deal with your feelings?” she asked.

Alvin stopped, because the answer was never. He wasn’t like Jude who could, apparently, rationalize betraying someone.

“I… I want to help him…” he finally admitted, still hugging Leia with his left hand. “But I don’t know how. The more I try to reach out to him the more I feel like I’m getting tangled in his web of lies. I mean, I can’t even figure out why he keeps deceiving us. How can I help someone if I can’t even see them from amidst all their lies?”

“But you can tell when he’s lying?” Leia asked to make sure.

“Yes,” Alvin admitted.

“Then why not just call him out on when he’s lying? Like when he said he wouldn’t betray us again,” she suggested. It was a pretty good plan in theory, but Alvin shook his head. 

“It’s not that simple,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Because he believes his own lies,” Alvin explained. “He means each promise he makes. He knows he won’t be able to keep it, but he still puts his heart in it. You… you must have seen how he jumped to shield me,” Alvin said and realized he was shaking. “He didn’t think twice about risking his life, but at the same time if his plan collides with ours he will probably have as little hesitation about betraying us.” He looked at Leia with despair in his eyes. “And the worst part is I can’t bring myself to hate him for it.”

Leia slowly returned the hug.

“It’s alright,” she said, trying to soothe Alvin. “I… We will figure something up!” she promised. “Maybe not now, but we will think about something together, okay?” 

Alvin nodded, feeling somehow better, even though he could Leia’s last words were a lie.

*

“You shouldn’t be walking about with your wounds,” Alvin said, as he finally found his runaway patient near the inn. Jude was sitting on a barrel and looking at the bustle of the Sharilton market.

“I needed some fresh air,” Jude said. “As much as I love reading books in peace, I’m not used to staying in one place for a long period of time. It makes me restless.”

“Why?” Alvin asked leaning on a nearby wall. Now that he confirmed where Jude was and that he wasn’t doing anything too dangerous, he wasn’t in too much rush to force him to return to bed.

“I haven’t been staying in one place for long too often. I had more stationary assignments, but even then I was usually expected to drop what I was doing and travel through half of Rieze Maxia if new orders came,” Jude admitted. “Actually, my stay in Fennmont was the longest assignment I had, even if I had to make a few shorter trips during it. You know, monitoring the Lance of Kresnik situation,” he added with a troubled smile. “So many things happened in that city…”

“Do you regret that we came along?” Alvin asked curiously.

Jude shrugged.

“I can’t really regret something I had no influence over,” he pointed out, then paused for a second before adding. “Gaius once said that a man can only regret his inability to act.”

“That certainly sounds like a quote he would come up with,” Alvin scoffed. Jude chuckled.

“Do you dislike his philosophy?” Jude asked.

“Dislike is a big word,” Alvin said, drawing random shapes in the mud with his boot. “I understand why someone who is a king may need to be a bit extreme, but I don’t think normal humans like us should follow the same line of logic as he does.”

“So you think that only people with strong conviction and a mission like Gaius or Milla should follow those words?” Jude continued to ask.

“Probably,” Alvin said warily.

“What if someone has a mission, but lacks conviction?” Jude questioned. “Should they follow Gaius’ words?”

Alvin really hadn’t come here for a philosophy class. Why couldn’t Jude ask him something he knew? Like Howe’s Egg? He knew that one!

“Are you asking for a friend?” Alvin said, deflecting the question.

Jude beamed.

“Actually, I am,” he admitted with a smile. “I think a good friend of mine should think carefully about this last question.”

Alvin felt discomfort, as the realization struck him.

“You think I lack conviction,” he stated, looking warily at Jude.

“Please, don’t look at me like that. I was just trying to help,” he assured from where he sat on the barrel. “I’ve seen many people who were crushed under a mission too big for them. I would hate it if you became one of those people.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t follow Milla?” Alvin questioned, a hint of hostility in his voice. “What? Are you jealous?”

A hurt flicked across Jude’s face. The mercenary sighed, rubbing his face with his hand to hide his expression. Alvin immediately felt guilty for his outburst.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel,” Jude said with so much honesty that it was sad to listen to. “It’s your decision to make not mine.” 

Alvin wanted to say something to that, but he couldn’t find any rebuttal.

Jude paused, seemingly finished, but then added quietly. “I made my decision a long time ago.”

Something struck Alvin, an idea that he should have had a long time ago.

“You also have a mission,” he said, wondering why it took him so long to piece this together. 

“Of course, I do,” Jude shrugged as if it was obvious.

“What is it?” Alvin asked. “Your mission?”

Jude was silent for a moment, as if he had to think deeply about the answer. Alvin tried not to stare too much at his face. There was something mesmerizing about it.

“I don’t want to give you a complicated answer,” Jude said slowly. “But when you boil it down to the basics I just…”

For a moment Jude’s voice drowned in the bustle of marketplace and Alvin feared that he would lose this one answer that he had managed to coax out of Jude. However, Jude was thoughtful enough to repeat the statement as he smiled shyly at Alvin. The medic could tell it was truth. A truth fundamental to who Jude was.

“I just want to help people,” he said, with the gentlest smile Alvin had ever seen anyone make.

*

Their flight to Fennmont was eventless. They slipped easily into the city and then to the lab, but didn’t find the Lance of Kresnik. Luckily, Jude and Alvin’s combined knowledge of the technology and security systems helped them find out someone who knew.

One encounter with a sociopathic girl in red later they were coming up with a plan to infiltrate the king’s castle.

“That escalated quickly,” Alvin said as he looked at the guards in the distance. “Since we are having such a great streak maybe we should do a frontal attack?” he suggested jokingly.

Unexpectedly, Rowen agreed to that plan. Soon, they were fighting with the patrols in the castle hurrying to meet with the king. However, when they finally reach him they were unable to persuade him.

Not without beating the shit out of him.

Alvin absently added assaulting the king to their list of crimes. Their title of Rashugal’s Most Wanted had reached its peak. They should probably start causing more trouble in Auj Oule now if they wanted to maintain their reputation as hardened criminals.

Nachtigal was more open to the arguments after the fight and Rowen managed to persuade him not to use the Lance of Kresnik.

Except, Nachtigal died seconds later skewered by icicles.

Rowen froze in shock, as did the rest of their team members. They tried to follow the culprit, but the trail soon ran cold.

“It must have been Derrick,” Rowen said. “He was the one Nachtigal sent to the weapon. But why would he murder his own king?”

Nobody seemed to have an answer to that question.

*

Rowen’s fame was useful in getting them through the military checkpoints. The news of the king’s death had not spread yet and nobody had a reason to suspect Rowen had anything to do with it. Well, technically he didn’t, but Alvin had no doubt they would be blamed for his death.

“Do you know anything about Derrick?” Milla asked as they walked towards the Rashugal’s camp.

“Nothing helpful. I thought he was just a flatterer, but I was clearly wrong,” Rowen admitted. “Maybe you heard some rumours, Jude?”

Jude was silent for a moment, long enough to make Alvin feel suspicious.

“I was never asked to spy on him, but from what I could gather from various sources I would say he is a smart man. I would be willing to bet this isn’t some sort of desperate measure, but a part of a bigger plan,” Jude finally said. “He probably planned to assassinate Nachtigal for a while.”

“That was a terrible oversight on my part,” Rowen said with a sigh.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself. He certainly doesn’t make impression of someone as dangerous as he truly is,” Jude replied. Alvin couldn’t help noticing the note of familiarity in that sentence that made him have a really bad feeling about what would happen.

*

Running through the warzone was slightly more tiring than the morning warm ups Master Sonia made them do.

Just slightly.

As if fighting with all the random enemies from both sides wasn’t enough they ran into the Chimeriad. Sans the crazy red chick they already beat in Fennmont, thank Maxwell.

Still, they pulled through. They were all even more beaten and bruised at the end, but it was their victory.

Alvin wanted to congratulate his team, but the words froze on his lips when he noticed Jude casually aiming his weapon at Presa. 

“I’m sorry, but this is goodbye,” Jude said apologetically and Alvin could see the tension, the self-loathing colouring Jude’s posture like a relentless shadow. “But if you have any last words I will listen to them.”

Presa, meanwhile, looked unsurprised. Like she expected this to happen.

“Always the good little boy,” she muttered, a weird mix of fondness and disdain in her words. “But I will do us both a favour and pass on that offer.”

“I see,” Jude said with a nod. He looked regretful. “Thank you for everything.”

It was wrong. Just wrong.

“Don’t do that, Jude!” Alvin shouted, stepping forward. Jude froze, but didn’t move his gun.

“If we let her go now, she may attack us later,” he pointed out nonchalantly. “Are you sure you want to take responsibility for letting her go?”

“Yes,” Alvin said without a second thought. Jude seemed to smile at that a little, as if he was happy that he could relegate this burden to Alvin.

“Then I hope you won’t come to regret that choice,” Jude said easily, hiding his gun in the recesses of his jacket.

Alvin came closer to check on Presa. To his surprise she looked more angry than she did when the gun had been pointed at her.

“Ever the obedient pet, huh?” she said, her voice now full of disdain. She moved her gaze to Alvin. “I would watch your back if I were you. You never know when Jude will change his loyalties. It’s all play-pretend to him.”

Jude didn’t deny the accusation, just staring silently at Presa, but Alvin was less patient. He grabbed Jude by his arms to bring him closer. The mercenary yelped, surprised by the sudden proximity.

“I know he lied to us, but you know what? I’m also a liar! A terrible one!” he admitted. “And even if I don’t say some things... I would like to think that Jude knows how I feel.”

Presa just gave him a curious look. Jude was motionless in Alvin’s grasp. He was probably used to serving as an armrest for him at this point, but there was something distant in his gaze, as if he wasn’t with them, but far far away. 

Alvin could only hope his sentiments reached the mercenary whenever his mind was.

*

Everything went wrong during their fight with Gaius. Ivar appeared to ruin everything, activating the Lance of Kresnik, which then shot into the sky.

Before Alvin could even understand what was going on, a flying ships emerged from the hole that appeared in the sky. The invaders started shooting not caring if they hit the Rashugal or Auj Oule soldiers.

“What is happening?!” 

Alvin momentarily tore his eyes away from the flying ships to stare at Jude who looked downright hysterical. There were tears in his eyes and he was clutching his head in distress.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

Alvin really wanted to ask what according to Jude was supposed to happen, but he didn’t get the chance, because someone appeared next to the Lance of Kresnik.

“It has finally happened,” Derrick announced. Alvin almost expected him to laugh maniacally, but the man just continued to watch the flying ships with a satisfied look. 

“Finally?! What are you talking about?!” Jude was shouting. If Derrick wasn’t at the cliff Jude would have probably outright attacked him. “Answer me!”

There was no answer and Jude pulled out his gun to aim it at Derrick, but before he could shoot, several icicles fired towards him. Jude barely dodged them by jumping backwards.

“And here I thought you would watch out not to outgrow your usefulness. I even considered praising you for a splendid job, but I guess that was too much for a defective project like you,” the man said coldly. Jude gritted his teeth in frustration. “Stay back.”

“So you were the one who attacked Hamil,” Gaius realized.

“Indeed, together with the spirit Celsius,” he said pulling out a cylindrical contraption from which a blue haired spirit emerged. “We managed to trick you and Nachtigal into opening hostilities.”

While Milla expressed her surprise at seeing a spirit she didn’t recognize and Gaius his hostility, a number of soldiers flew out of the ships. They didn’t even have time to escape as the enemy reinforcements directed their weapons toward them.

The shockwave threw Alvin back. As he tried to stand back he realized that Jude was the only person who was still standing, apparently spared by the attackers. There was a desperate look on his face, one that Alvin usually associated with Jude rapidly recalculating his plans. Suddenly, the mercenary aimed his gun again, but this time directing it at Milla. His expression was almost feral and his hand seemed to shake as he tried to steady himself and— 

This time an icicle tore through his arm. Jude screamed in agony and fell on his knees, clutching the bleeding limb.

“I thought my order was clear. Stay back, Julius,” Derrick said coldly.

Jude glared at him, but didn’t move.

Alvin and the rest of the team managed to get up during that momentary distraction, but they soon ran into another problem. Elize lost consciousness during the attack and was now lying defenseless. Milla was about to rush towards her to save her from the encroaching enemy guards, but Gaius intercepted her, knocking Milla unconscious.

He threw the Lord of Spirits back at them, ordering their group to run away with her. It was a sound strategy, but Alvin couldn’t just leave Elize. He was the one who took her on this journey. He handed Milla’s unconscious body to Rowen, requesting him and Leia to run. They nodded at him, understanding his intentions.

Alvin cleared the path before him with wide swings of his greatsword. He didn’t care about the danger when all he could think of was Elize who could be taken by those strange people and used as a test subject again. The Chimeriad appeared, magnifying the battlefield chaos and Alvin realized that Jude used that brief distraction to join him, running just behind him.

Alvin refused to acknowledge his presence. 

When they reached her, Jiao was with her, revealing the truth of her parents’ demise. Elize could only watch shaken as Jiao left. 

Alvin had a feeling that was the last time they would see him.


	5. Shadows of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter we close curtains on the first half of the story! I hope you enjoyed the ride so far!

Waking up drenched and cold on a frozen beach was not a fun experience. Especially, when he realized his cheek had something that looked suspiciously like a footprint. Alvin sighed. Just his luck.

He didn’t remember how he got here, but being partially amnesiac through most of his childhood made him used to those sorts of situations. He was more worried by the fact that nobody was with him and he wasn’t sure if Elize was alright. The last thing he remembered was shielding her from an attack.

Oh well, standing in place and worrying until he froze to death would be stupid. Alvin started to move forward, hoping to find a more familiar path. His neck hurt terribly and he was pretty sure he had a headache. Still, he pushed forward, dispatching any monsters that came his way.

Soon, he entered the icy cave that somehow was even colder than the outside, but at least he was shielded from the wind.

He didn’t venture too far before Jude ambushed him. Alvin was about to tell him several choice words, but then he saw Elize skulking in the back.

“Elize!” he cried in joy, once they were sure the enemy patrol had passed. He hugged the girl, “I was so worried about you!”

“Me too! I was very worried when we separated, but stinking Jude refused to return to get you!” she said with disdain.

Jude sighed, weariness clear on his face.

“We barely managed to escape,” the mercenary explained shyly. “There was no way for me to get to you without risking Elize’s life. And I was sure you would never forgive me if I did that.” 

Alvin already felt he had a lot of reasons not to forgive Jude, but this really wasn’t the right time and place for that, so he merely nodded. Elize’s safety was more important than his.

Elize seemed to disagree.

“Don’t take his side! Jude is a terrible liar!” she announced. “He’s probably only waiting to betray us.”

“That hurts, Elize,” Jude said calmly, but Alvin could hear a tired honesty in his words. It didn’t seem like Jude even had the energy to lie at this point. Alvin looked more closely at the mercenary. The dim light of the ice cave didn’t let him see clearly, but even then it was obvious that Jude was much too pale, exhaustion clearly visible on his face. The arm which was pierced by the icicle had been bandaged, but it was sloppy work. Jude was truly and honestly out of it. “Especially, because I’m the one who was betrayed.”

“You were?” Alvin asked, curious.

Jude belatedly realized he said too much and seemed to want to withdraw, but then thought against it.

“I…” he started, but then paused with a sigh. “I will tell you the truth, but can we do it after we find the others. It’s not a story I want to tell twice,” he pleaded.

Alvin wanted to press him, because he knew Jude was vulnerable now. With right words he could easily get all the truth out of him. All the secrets the mercenary had hidden.

He squashed those vicious feelings before he could act out on them.

“Fine,” he almost growled. “But you’d better keep your word.”

“I will,” Jude assured quickly. “This...it’s no longer something I can deal with alone.”

Alvin sighed.

“Okay, but there is one question I need to ask now,” he said, pausing to give gravity to his next words. “Who is that gal that had been floating behind you all this time?” 

Jude straightened, probably only now remembering about her.

“Oh, right. Meet Muzet! She said she is Milla’s sister and was supposed to help find you, but since you can’t produce mana I was asked to tether with her to help with the search.”

Alvin looked at the woman deciding that he didn’t like her smirk.

“Somehow that sounds exactly like something that would happen to you,” he said to Jude. 

The mercenary merely sighed in exhaustion.

*

The truth was stranger than fiction.

“Those people who attacked were Elympions,” Jude explained once they had been reunited with the rest of their team and meet up with Gaius. “They are people who live in the other world.”

Milla explained to them about schism, while Jude continued to avoid looking at anyone. He seemed intent on piercing a hole in the floor with his gaze.

“Exodus’ goal was supposed to be returning to the other side,” Jude continued his explanation. “Twenty years ago a ship from Elympion crashed on this side, leaving the people who were in it stranded. The survivors of the shipwreck build an organization that is now known as Exodus.”

“You say they were supposed to be returning?” Gaius asked with hostility.

“Yes, because this is obviously not what happened and unfortunately I’m afraid that means that Derrick decided to abandon the original goal of Exodus’ in favour of a different one,” Jude said, then cast apologetic glance at his teammates. “Everything I did was to help those people return to their home.”

It wasn’t a proper apology, but still Alvin could feel just how hurt Jude was by this whole situation.

“Oh, and do you have any inclination as to what this other plan is?” Gaius asked.

“Yes,” Jude said, but then didn’t follow until Gaius made an impatient noise. “I really want to be wrong. Because if it’s true then I was used for the most horrific plan imaginable…” he explained, despair clear in his voice. He gripped his wrist to ground himself as he said, “The Otherworldly Reactor Plan.”

*

They dispersed after the meeting, having planned a counterattack for the next day.

“I think you owe us some more explanations,” Milla said, as they went outside.

“I… probably,” Jude admitted, his voice uncertain. He looked lost. “This is all a shock to me too.”

“You seemed to know a lot about the Otherworldly Reactor Plan,” she pointed out.

Jude chuckled in self-deprecation.

“Hardly, I just heard stories about it from other members of Exodus,” Jude admitted. “I doubt anyone other than Derrick knew the truth. He keeps everyone at arm's length.”

“You seem to know him well,” Milla noted.

“He’s my boss,” Jude pointed out with a sour expression. “I guarantee you would also know someone who gave you orders since you were nine pretty well,” Jude assured her. Alvin tried not to show the shock.

“You joined when you were nine?” Elize asked in disbelief.

“I was born to work for Exodus,” Jude said bitterly. And Alvin suddenly remembered what Jude told him about his father leaving him, because he couldn’t channel his mana properly.

“They wanted to have someone who could use spirit artes,” Alvin said in realization.

“Yes, but I was a failure, so I was left behind. However, after my mom grew more and more ill I didn’t have much choice. The money I earned from the odd jobs just wasn’t enough. Exodus was the only place where I could get help, so I started to work hard to compensate for what I lack,” he explained. And Alvin could see that. All the pieces were suddenly coming together forming a terrible story of a boy too gentle for the cruel circumstances he found himself in.

“That was your reason then?” Milla questioned. “Saving your mother?”

“I would be lying if I said that was the only reason,” Jude admitted, leaning on the wall. “I truly wanted to help other members of Exodus return home. Many of them were torn away from their families, their loved ones...”

“You weren’t planning to return with them,” Rowen noticed.

Jude shook his head.

“Not really. I spent all my life in Rieze Maxia. It’s more my home than Elympios is, which is why I can’t forgive Derrick for using me for his plan. I never wanted to throw Rieze Maxia into ruin,” he said, his voice full of frustration.

“You threw this continent into war,” Milla pointed out.

“Derrick did. My role was to secure the Lance of Kresnik and I did my best to cause as little casualties as possible along the way,” Jude said in exasperation. “I only learned about the attack on Hamil when I heard Presa’s report and I had no idea Derrick was planning to kill Nachtigal.”

“So you were lied to,” Milla summarised.

Jude nodded, a shadow of hatred on his face.

“Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but please let me go with you. I… I have to kill Derrick,” Jude said hurt and anger clear in his voice.

Milla tilted her head.

“And if we don’t agree?”

“Then I will find a way on my own,” Jude said simply. “But I think we could help each other out, since I know first hand the layout of their base.”

“And how do we know this isn’t a trap?” Milla asked simply.

Jude scoffed.

“You are planning to attack the ship with or without me. Derrick is thorough and if he set a trap it would be one that will spring up regardless of my presence. I’m just a liability to him at this point,” Jude explained, painfully gripping his wounded arm.

Milla considered his words for a moment, before turning to the medic.

“What do you think Alvin?” she asked.

“Umm, me?” Alvin said, surprised.

“Yes, you are much better than me at discerning lies. Do you think Jude is telling the truth?” Milla asked.

Alvin froze a bit at being suddenly put in the spotlight. He wondered how much he should share, because Jude was definitely still hiding something about Derrick. However, Alvin had his suspicions about what that thing was and didn’t feel comfortable sharing them with the rest of the team.

“His grudge is obvious and I don’t think he had lied about anything he said,” Alvin answered. He felt a bit bad about obscuring the truth, but he didn’t have a choice.

There just wasn’t an easy way to say that Jude was most probably planning to commit patricide.

*

“Could I see your arm, Jude?” Alvin asked, after they started to turn in for the evening. Rowen had already bathed and went out immediately after his head hit the pillow. He was now producing low snores, unbothered by the noise.

Alvin truly envied him in that regard.

“My arm?” Jude repeated.

“Yeah, it didn’t seem like you had time to bandage it properly,” Alvin said, looking pointedly at the messy wrapping. “Plus I wanted to make sure it’s not infected. It didn’t seem like you had time or energy to use artes.”

“I did… try…” Jude finally said, as he started to slowly unwrap the bandage. Alvin froze as he saw what was underneath. It was probably the most botched attempt at healing he had ever witnessed. The wound had been healed extremely unevenly. The deep cuts remained in some places, while the ones that were healed had an ugly red zigzagged line that would definitely become a permanent scar.

“We… should probably get Leia,” Alvin said shakily. “But first, you should get cleaned.”

Jude was silent for a moment, as if he considered.

“Could you help me?” he finally asked.

“What?” Alvin almost shouted taken aback.

“My hand hurts when I move it. I was planning to power through the pain, but since you seem to want to help, could you help me with that too? It’s hard to pour water on yourself with one hand,” Jude explained and Alvin finally managed to pull his mind out of the gutter. 

Right, helping pour the water. The temple had been abandoned for quite some time and lacked running water. They wouldn’t have a comfort of a regular bath.

“Sure,” he said, trying to appear much more composed than he felt.

*

Jude seemed absolutely non-phased about being naked. Which was a good thing, because at least one of them didn’t feel awkward about the whole thing. Alvin had tied a towel around his hips to preserve some modesty, but ever-the-task-oriented Jude just undressed and started to put soap on himself as if the whole thing was nothing out of the ordinary.

Now that Alvin had way too much time to think about this, Jude was very good at ignoring his embarrassment depending on the context of the situation. It was a strange sort of duality that seemed to define him. An almost mechanical precision and detachment one moment and awkward youthfulness and idealism the next.

Alvin tried not to stare at the mercenary, but it was hard. Not even because Alvin had feelings that he had yet to untangle, but because the amount of scars on Jude was frankly dizzying. Jude hid them well with his clothes. Alvin had suspected they were there, but it was one thing to hypothesize and another to witness a constellation of cuts and bruises on someone’s back.

It put a lot of things in perspective.

“Could you pour the water?” Jude requested. Alvin nodded stepping forward with a bucket of hot water. Jude made a grateful sound as the water slowly washed the soap off him.

“Thanks, it would be much more tricky without your help,” Jude said happily taking a towel to dry himself. Alvin nodded, pulling out the first aid kit. He planned to disinfect the wound before sending Jude to Leia. While healing artes were usually good at getting rid of the potential infections, it was more than a day since the wound had been sustained. At this point it was better to err on the side of caution.

Jude finished putting his clothes back on, hiding all the other scars. He extended his arm and Alvin took a bottle with an alcoholic mixture he had prepared and a small piece of gauze.

“It will hurt,” he warned. Jude only nodded.

Despite his best attempts Jude groaned loudly in pain as the mixture washed over his wound. He almost pulled his hand out of Alvin’s grasp, but barely stopped himself. Alvin did his best to ignore Jude’s suffering and pressed the wet gauze into the wound.

“You are doing great,” Alvin said, recalling how he had been instructed to handle younger patients. It might have been patronizing of him, but it felt like Jude could use some encouragement. “Brave boy.”

“Shut up,” Jude hissed in a pained and indignant voice. “I’m not five.”

“Yeah, you aren’t,” Alvin agreed, focusing all his attention on cleaning the wound. “There you go. Now try to catch Leia. I will dress your wound after I’m done bathing.

“Thanks,” Jude said with a nod, moving towards the door, but before Avin knew what he was doing he caught the mercenary by his other hand.

“Jude,” he said, trying to find the right words. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Jude said without turning towards Alvin.

“No, I mean… are you okay with killing Derrick?” Alvin said and he felt Jude tense. “Isn’t he yours…?”

Jude turned towards him with a frightening speed, releasing himself from Alvin’s grasp, and pushing him back with his working hand. Alvin felt himself stumble backwards, his back hitting the wall.

“Don’t say it,” Jude growled, stalking towards Alvin with a glare. “I don’t want to have anything to do with that condescending bastard,” he hissed. It was first time Alvin ever heard Jude call someone names. The medic tried to appear unaffected, but frankly Jude was scaring him _very much_ right now. 

“Uhhh, sorry,” Alvin muttered. It seemed to pull Jude a bit out of his loathing, because he sighed into his hand, regaining some of his composure. 

“Please don’t tell others,” he requested. “They will suspect I’m still working for him,” Jude said, his voice sounding small and vulnerable. Then paused. “What gave it away?”

“The way he talked to you when we met him. Do you know that what we tell ourselves during self-loathing episodes is often influenced by negative words from our parents or other authority figures in our lives?” Alvin said, citing what he learned in the mental health classes.

“No. I don’t think I ever got to read a book on the subject,” Jude said absently.

“I will buy you one next time we do some shopping,” Alvin promised. _You could really use a book on self-hatred_ , hung in the air, heavily implied.

“I will look forward to it, then,” Jude said forcing himself to form a smile, while taking a step back. “And you don’t need to worry about me. It’s my responsibility to end his life.”

It was the fakest smile Alvin had ever seen in his life.

“You don’t have to do it,” Alvin said, reaching his hand forward to cup Jude’s cheek. “It’s not your fault and you don’t have to take responsibility for your parent’s—”

“My actions helped him,” Jude cut his argument down, while gently pushing Alvin’s hand away. “I let myself be manipulated by him and the only way to fix this is by making sure he can’t make anyone else miserable.”

Alvin gritted his teeth, trying to find a rebuttal.

“You don’t have to carry this burden by yourself,” he finally said. “You don’t have to fix everything just because you were a part of Exodus.”

But then Jude gave him a look and Alvin realized he said _the wrong thing_.

“I have _a mission_ ,” he said in a way that almost mirrored Milla. Except it didn’t, because Milla’s voice was unwavering and confident, while Jude’s was shaky and desperate. “I sacrificed so much for the sake of both worlds… I… I wish I could be like Milla… or Gaius...” Jude admitted and Alvin realized he had finally seen the mercenary’s true face.

A child that had to grow quickly and was shouldering a burden far too heavy for one small boy. Alvin tried to say something, but before he could, Jude ran out of the bathroom. Alvin almost pursued him, but then remembered he only had a towel on himself and if he ran out like that he would surely cause a scene.

He sighed, deciding to take a bath for now.

He would worry about what to do with Jude after they were done with Derrick.

*

The plan went off without a hitch. They managed to hijack the flying ship and started preparing their counterattack. Everybody was buzzing up with pent up energy despite the exhaustion from fighting.

“It seems your wound has healed up well,” Alvin noted, looking at an ugly line on Jude’s arm. “Can you move it like you used to?”

“Yes, I think there was no damage to nerves and muscles,” Jude replied, looking at the wound with a terrifying amount of focus. As if it was a physical proof… of something. Alvin didn’t even want to think of what, because none of the possible answers sounded good.

“That’s good to hear. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about the scarring, but I’m glad it’s the only complication,” Alvin admitted, as he put a fresh bandage on the wound. Leia had fully healed it, so theoretically there was no need for that, but he felt the need to do so. He was half sure Jude would rip the wound open if there wasn’t something physically stopping him from doing that.

Jude was quiet as Alvin dressed his wound. It was obvious that Jude was thinking intensely about something. The medic wondered if he should poke the hornet's nest, before throwing away the caution.

“A gald for your thoughts?” he asked, hoping to get some insight into Jude’s inner workings. It didn’t seem he was thinking about his father. His expression was far too uncertain for that.

Jude looked startled at the question. He sighed, before looking straight at the medic.

“Alvin… are you okay?” he finally asked.

Alvin blinked, completely caught off guard by the question.

“Of course, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” he replied, blinking. Jude didn’t seem to believe him completely, which was fair given how good Alvin was at lying.

“No, nightmares or… anything?” Jude kept asking.

“Nightmares?” Alvin repeated confused.

“Leia told me you used to have nightmares,” Jude explained.

“Ah, yeah, but it was long ago,” Alvin said, chuckling. “My accident was… what? Twenty years ago… yeah, it’s not like I remember any of it. It’s all in the past now,” he said easily, but he couldn’t help a nagging feeling that he was overlooking something. That there was a specific reason why Jude was asking the question and Alvin _should_ know it.

“Oh, is that so,” Jude said, visibly surprised, but seemingly happy. “Well, I’m glad then. I kept worrying for nothing.”

“You are too much of a worrywart, kid,” Alvin said, messing Jude’s hair. The mercenary looked slightly displeased, but didn’t fight it. 

“I’m not a kid,” Jude protested, though, because of course he would. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’m calling it as I see it,” Alvin replied teasingly.

“Says the person who spends his time trailing behind somebody else,” Jude said.

Alvin gave him a cold glare.

“That was a low blow,” he said.

“Maybe,” Jude said, something bitter in his expression. “But it’s true.”

“Hey, unlike _some_ people here at least I’m following someone who is not bent on destroying my world.”

Jude gave him a look, as if Alvin said the most ridiculous thing possible.

And then he chuckled. Soon the chuckles turned into a full out laughter. There was no humour in it. It was a hysterical laughter of someone who reached their limit.

Alvin didn’t know how to react. It felt too much as if Jude was laughing at _him_. At his naivety. As if truly Alvin was nothing more than a child being lead by the hand and not seeing things. 

“I’m envious of you, Alvin,” Jude finally said, as he rubbed off the tears that appeared in his eyes from laughing so much. “I wish I could have been like you sometimes,” he admitted. “Or maybe not… maybe it’s better this way...”

Alvin didn’t like his tone of voice. It wasn’t really insulting, but there was an implication here that made Alvin feel inferior. 

“I’m sorry to waste your time. We should get some sleep for tomorrow, shouldn’t we?” Jude said, as if to escape the topic. Alvin wanted to stop him, but he couldn’t think of any words, so instead he let Jude go to lie on his bed.

As Alvin let himself lie on his own bed, he let his thoughts wander. There was something that had been bugging him about Jude’s question. Why would he be asking about some accident twenty years ago that had nothing to do with him…

Suddenly, Alvin’s eyes widened.

He raised from the bed to look at Jude’s silhouette lying with his back to him. The boy who was born due to the accident twenty years ago.

...there was no way it was the same accident, was there?

*

No matter how much Alvin tried to calm himself the sleep wasn’t coming to him. A part of him wanted to wake up Jude and question him, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t get any direct answers.

Finally, Alvin left their sleeping quarters to wander through the temple they’ve been in. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised to find Milla.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been… thinking about things,” Alvin admitted.

“Things?” Milla asked, tilting her head.

“Something that Jude said… nevermind,” he added quickly, seeing how Milla was about to ask him about it. “It’s something I need to figure out on my own.”

“If you say so,” Milla said. “We all have things we need to figure out for ourselves.”

“Even you have things that keep you at night, huh,” Alvin said. Somehow it felt surprising. Milla was always so sure, so confident. It was strange to see her uncertain about something.

“Of course. The true conviction doesn’t come from abandoning weakness, but facing it head on,” Milla explained. “It’s something I learned on this journey.”

“You are correct, Maxwell,” a familiar voice agreed and Alvin turned around to see Gaius sauntering through the halls.

“Having trouble sleeping too?” Alvin asked, automatically putting on his mask of nonchalance.

Gaius gave him a level look.

“Wingul snores terribly,” he explained seriously.

Alvin could feel a part of his bravado dying at the sheer banality of the answer.

“Uhhh… that sucks. Rowen also snores sometimes, but thankfully not every night.”

“I’m envious. Wingul snores every night. It’s usually not a problem, since I make sure he is placed in separate quarters,” Gaius explained. Then sighed. “I think he is taking it the wrong way and thinks I don’t trust him enough to sleep in his presence.”

Alvin nodded slowly.

“Peppermint is said to help with snoring. Maybe try to feed him some next time you need to share a room,” he suggested.

Gaius nodded, looking thankful.

“I will keep that in mind,” he said.

“It’s nice seeing you agree with us and acting civil for a change,” Milla said, ever fearless.

Gaius seemed amused by her comment.

“I don’t think it is that surprising. Just because our goals differ doesn’t mean our viewpoints are so different,” the king pointed out, as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Certainly, however, judging by our last meeting I thought you would have more negative views on weakness,” Milla explained.

“Ah, I can see why you would think so. However, you are quite mistaken. I don’t loathe weakness. It’s in human nature to be weak and it is the role of the strong to help the weak survive.”

“That’s quite high and mighty way of looking at it, isn’t it,” Alvin said before he could think better of it.

Gaius, however, seemed more amused at his outburst, than annoyed.

“Oh, then are you suggesting I should leave weak to fend for themselves? Don’t they deserve to receive help? It’s not their fault they were born lacking conviction to carve their place in the world,” Gaius explained, as if it was so simple.

“That’s not what I said,” Alvin protested, feeling frustrated. “Don’t go putting things in my mouth. All I’m saying is that you should not take other people for granted. Everyone has the capacity to grow beyond what they are.”

Gaius was silent for a moment.

“Bold words for someone who does not believe them,” he finally said.

“What—”

“That’s enough, Gaius,” Milla cut them off. “I’d rather you didn’t antagonize Alvin.”

“I think the fact that he can’t fend for himself without your help speaks louder than any other words I could say, so I will be leaving you.” He paused, before once more moving his gaze to Alvin. “Thank you for your advice, Alvin, and let me offer one in return. Weak people who take more burden than they can carry are bound to shatter underneath it.”

The words sounded familiar and Alvin quickly placed them.

“Did you tell the same thing to Jude?” he asked, because the quote was uncannily similar.

Gaius nodded.

“Yes, I believe I told him that the first time we met. I even offered him a position back then, since talented spies like him are rare. Unfortunately, he insisted on continuing with his nonsense.” Gaius paused, looking wistful for a second. “It won’t be long now. He will probably burn off soon, destroyed by the weight of his mission.” he said, leaving with his ominous words. 

Alvin only realized he was clenching his fist, when Milla gently took it in her hand.

“Don’t let his words get to you,” Milla said. Alvin took several deep breaths to calm himself.

“Do you think it’s true?” he asked.

“What he said about Jude?” Milla asked. Alvin nodded. It was as if Gaius gave a name to the bad feeling that Alvin had been carrying. Now that he knew it was there, it was heavy and hard to ignore.

There was a moment of silence.

“I believe in you,” Milla finally said. Alvin looked at her. “I believe in humans. I believe in you, in Rowen, in Leia, in Elize and Teepo, and I also believe in Jude.”

Alvin wanted to ask from where she got so much strength. So much _faith_ and _confidence_. However, instead he found himself saying something else.

“Thank you… I will make sure your faith is not misplaced,” he promised.

Milla smiled at him.

“I know it isn’t.”

Alvin smiled back at her, but he knew he was faking it.

Still, it was fine. It was fine to fake it as long, as Milla didn’t notice.

*

E.S.S.Zenethra was cold and oppressive ship with hundreds of enemies and barriers that could tear them apart.

But that wasn’t the worst. Oh, no.

The worst for Alvin was the fact that it was _familiar_.

With every broken passageway and corridor they passed Alvin was growing more and more sure of that fact. 

He had been on this ship before. The memories were now violently pushing at him and as much as Alvin wanted to pretend they weren’t there, he knew he was failing. He remained silent, trying to act like everything was okay.

Except, Alvin wasn’t the silent type. Not by a long shot.

“Is everything okay, Alvin?” Milla asked after Jude had destroyed the first console.

“Ah, yes, everything is fi—”

BOOOOOOOOM!!!

A loud explosion reverberated through the ship, shaking it and suddenly he was back…

_...people shouting… his parents weren’t there… the shaking, the rumbling… the overwhelming fear… the explosion… so deafening… so close… so alone… he was so scared… mom… dad… somebody help him… somebody save him from..._

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

It took Alvin a moment to realize that he was the one who was shouting. And lying on the floor in the fetal position.

It would be embarrassing if Alvin wasn’t so busy feeling scared and panicked.

“Are you okay?” Leia asked, looking at him with worry, before turning to others. “I don’t understand. I don’t remember him ever having such a violent episode.”

“Maybe this place is triggering his memories,” Milla said slowly.

That comment hit Alvin like a hammer, as suddenly his memories sharpened.

_He was going on a trip with his parents. He was excited. It would be the first time he flew on a ship. He loved watching them from the window of his room. The flying ships…_

He shouted, as his mind tried to comprehend the new memories, which violently clashed with what he knew… what he believed… _what he was_!

He screamed, feeling as if his head was splitting in two.

_...in the sky above Elympios…_

As the memory returned to engrave itself in his memory, Alvin blacked out.

*

When he came to it, he was lying on the floor. He blinked.

“How long...?” he asked.

“Five minutes,” Milla said. “Can you move?”

“Yes!” he said, trying to get up, but his body refused to move like he wanted and he plopped back onto the floor. “...just give me a moment…”

“What happened, Alfred?” Leia asked. “This isn’t like you.”

_Alfred. Yes, his cousin called him the same way. His name was Balan. He was weird._

“I… I just…” Alvin said, but he couldn’t find words to easily explain himself.

“He’s probably overwhelmed, I think we should give him some space,” Jude suggested, putting a reassuring hand on Leia’s shoulder.

And well, it was nice that someone understood— 

—Understood?

Suddenly, Alvin’s blood filled with ice, as he realized.

 _Jude knew._ All this time. He knew.

A cold fury animated Alvin’s body, as he launched himself from the floor. Everybody was so surprised that nobody stopped Alvin when he pushed Jude into the wall, holding him by the collar.

“ _You knew!_ ” Alvin growled, feeling more betrayed than ever before. “You figured it out from the very beginning, didn’t you?!”

Jude only nodded, looking too taken aback to speak.

“Why haven’t you told me?!” Alvin demanded.

“It wasn’t my place…” Jude started, but Alvin didn’t allow him to finish the lie, as he pulled Jude slightly forward before pushing him painfully into the wall. He seemed to hear Leia’s screaming at him, but it didn’t seem important. Everything was far away, except for Jude’s amber eyes filled with guilt… so much guilt…

“Bullshit!” Alvin shouted. “You didn’t care if it was your place or not! You…”

The medic felt quiet after that, remaining unmoving. He couldn’t say it, because…

“You were happier not knowing,” Jude said. Despite the fact that he was the one being pinned to the wall, his voice was surprisingly level. “I didn’t want to burden you with that knowledge.”

“Burden me?!” Alvin demanded, but his voice was losing the fiery anger that gave him the boost at the beginning, leaving behind emptiness and ashes.

“Could you fight Exodus knowing the truth?” Jude asked. “Could you continue to follow Milla without questioning her goals?”

The strength left Alvin and he slumped onto his knees, his fingers still squeezing Jude’s collar, but now they were shaking as Alvin started to cry. Jude was frozen for a moment, before gently patting Alvin.

“I’m sorry,” Jude said.

Alvin continued to cry, as the truth he had forgotten for the last twenty years had finally caught up to him.

*

“I think I need explanation,” Milla said, when Alvin finally regained himself. “On the way, since we wasted enough time standing in place,” she added.

Alvin wasn’t sure what to say, but Jude gave him a questioning look and he nodded.

“Alvin is an Elympion,” Jude explained, as their group moved forward. It felt weird to have someone else acknowledge it. That Alvin wasn’t a native Rieze Maxian. “He was one of the people who were aboard this ship twenty years ago.”

Milla looked thoughtful.

“You seemed to know about it before we even came here,” Milla said.

“I suspected him the second I realized he couldn’t use mana. The lack of mana lobes is the only real difference between the denizens of both worlds. And when he explained he couldn’t use it due to the accident he was in twenty years ago, it only confirmed my suspicions.”

“So you knew from the very beginning,” Milla said.

“Yes, it was why Alvin was so angry at me,” Jude explained, as if him being thrown onto the wall was something he deserved. Alvin was already starting to deeply regret his rage filled actions. “I guess I made it pretty obvious that there was something I knew that he didn’t.”

“Wait, so Alvin is from the other world?” Leia asked to make sure.

“Yes,” Jude confirmed, “unlike me he is a native.”

And wasn’t that a height of irony, Alvin’s brain provided. A boy who had never even seen Elympios fought to help its people, while someone born there was helping destroy everything his breathens were trying to achieve.

It was a chilling thought.

“Wait, so his parents are Elympions, too?” Leia continued questioning.

“Yes, it was a bit awkward when I meet Leticia when we were leaving Leronde. I think she believes I’m holding her son hostage,” Jude explained embarrassed. Alvin almost sputtered, as he gained a new perspective on his goodbye with his mother.

He should probably write to her and assure her that his kidnapper was taking good care of him. Or something.

It was only seconds later that it hit him that his parents had been actively lying to him. They never told him about the Elympios or Exodus. He’d been kept in the dark ever since the accident.

Was his father’s sudden death somehow connected to Exodus? Was this the price they paid for cutting the ties with the organization?

The realization that he had been shielded by his parents felt almost as bad as when he figured out that Jude knew and didn’t tell him. Alvin couldn’t help feeling more useless than ever before. He’d been nothing but a burden for his parents… for his friends… for his teammates…

“Alvin, are you listening?” Milla asked, poking him without hesitation.

“Huh?”

“I said, it doesn’t change anything,” she said, before clarifying. “What you just learned doesn’t change what you want to do, doesn’t it?” she asked.

Her looked into her eyes full of determination and willpower.

“Yeah, you are right,” he confirmed. “We came here to settle things with Derrick! To save Rieze Maxia.”

He would have plenty time to hate himself for turning his back on Elympios after everything was over.

*

“So you came, Julius,” Derrick said slowly, as he raised from where he had been sitting next to the Lance of Kresnik. “I would have thanked you for bringing Maxwell to me, but I get a feeling you came to commit your last bout of foolishness.”

“My name,” the mercenary said slowly, “ _is Jude_. I belong to both words and won’t let you destroy one of them for your twisted ambitions!”

“You’ve always been a fool,” Derrick said slowly, gripping the cylindrical device and summoning Celsius. “Everything I’ve been doing was for the sake of saving Elympios from its demise! As always, you preach about responsibility without understanding it,” he said with derision. 

“I’m done listening to you!” Jude shouted. “It’s because of you… everything is because of you…” His voice had gone slightly manic, as if Jude wasn’t exactly there, before he bellowed. “I will stop you Derrick Mathis!”

“Come and try!” Derrick taunted, as Celsius flew forward.

To Alvin’s surprise Derrick turned out to be no pushover, wielding a gun with even more mastery than Jude and skillfully dodging their attacks. It didn’t help that Jude wasn’t watching out as much as he should. It was as if the only thing he could see was Derrick. 

Alvin could only watch as Celsius used that oversight to catch Jude’s hand. For a moment it looked as if Jude would become a frozen statue, except— 

“Sun Spark!” the mana crackled in Jude’s hands as he created a sparkling sphere that exploded into Celsius, giving Jude the opening he needed to free himself.

Alvin dashed forward to attack Celsius, all while his mind whirled with realization of what just happened.

Jude used a high level arte. It wasn’t something anyone could pull off, that meant— 

Alvin’s mind wanted to continue analyzing this event, but he had to concentrate on the combat, as Celsius’ attacks were unforgiving. Luckily, Milla had his back, as she casted a powerful fiery attack into the spirits back. Alvin winced, seeing the suffering on the spirit’s face, before it fell to the ground unmoving. Realizing that Celsius was no longer a threat they turned to Derrick, only to see Jude stab him with one of his hidden daggers.

Alvin felt sick, watching as the two of them stared at each other. Jude’s hands were still gripping the knife, but Alvin was beginning to realize that they were shaking.

“Jude!” he called, but before he could come closer, Derrick hit Jude’s face with his gun.

The mercenary stumbled backwards, but quickly steadied himself.

“It’s over!” he said, but his words didn’t hold much bite.

“You are right. It’s over for Elympios…” Derrick said. “We will all wither and die, just as Maxwell wanted,” he said, looking angrily at Milla. “You thought I would say that… we… won’t let ourselves be slaughtered...”

A strange sound came out of the cylindrical device and suddenly Derrick keeled in pain.

“Dad!” Jude surged forward without even thinking, his hand extended to catch Derrick.

He didn’t. The man fell onto the floor, dead. The spirit Celsius disappeared into the thin air. 

Jude fell onto his knees looking blankly at the corpse.

“He… he was your father?” Leia asked carefully, but Jude shook his head.

“No, his only son died long ago,” he said, his voice distant. Despite that, Jude extended his hand, taking the gun Derrick had been using. “It’s quite fitting this is the only thing you left me, huh.”

Alvin wanted to do something. It was obvious Jude was in much pain and Alvin had enough of others helping him, while he stood on the sidelines.

However, as he attempted to take a step forward a powerful force pushed him onto the floor. He was disorientated for a moment, before he realized that everyone was being attacked by this strange force.

There was a moment of panic, before Jude shouted.

“The Lance of Kresnik! It should be capable of dispelling this magic!”

It seemed like it would be their only hope, Milla certainly seemed to believe so as she crawled to the console.

“Wait, but won’t the mana drain kill us all?” Alvin questioned.

“Don’t worry, I will be the only one to power it,” Milla explained, as she fought against the malevolent force to input the right command on the control panel.

“Wait, but then you will die!” Alvin shouted as the gravity of the situation hit him. “You… you can’t…”

“Yes, the moment I die, the schism should disappear. This way Elympios will get more time,” she explained, her voice full of determination.

“You can’t!” Alvin shouted and tried to crawl closer to Milla, but someone latched onto him.

“Don’t stop her!” a desperate voice pleaded.

“Jude?” Alvin questioned, not understanding.

“Let her finish it! I want this to end!” the mercenary begged, holding on Alvin’s leg as if his life depended on it.

Alvin didn’t know what to say to that, his resolve to stop Milla crumbling by a second.

As always he did nothing remarkable in the end, resigning himself to watching helplessly as Milla died right before his eyes.


	6. Rehabilitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was set up weeks in advance, so it is quite ironic that I'm posting a chapter called "Rehabilitation" while I'm sick...
> 
> I wouldn't be joking if I said I was setting up stuff for this part since the very first chapter, because I wanted my take on Hamil to actually be cohesive.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a bite, Alfred?” Leia questioned.

Alvin gave her an empty look. The food looked tasty, Leia must have been training hard while he was away to learn to cook more than one dish.

The problem was Alvin wasn’t hungry. He was empty. Now that Milla was gone there wasn’t anyone to validate his meager existence. It was fun being a part of something bigger than himself. He could feel important. Needed.

But he wasn’t. He was unable to help anyone when it truly counted.

He let Milla die.

He hid his head in his hands, as he recounted how Milla died right before his eyes. How he was lying on the floor unable to help. Unable to act.

He was a true waste of space.

“Oh, I know, how about I make a pie! You like pies!” Leia suggested, overly cheerfully.

She was the last person willing to waste her time on the failure that he was. He wanted to tell her to stop. That he didn’t deserve her kindness, but Leia was desperate and he didn’t want to be even more of a burden than he already was.

“Sure,” Alvin said, his voice tired and empty. He didn’t want to eat anything, but it would give Leia something to do; instead of looking at the pathetic excuse of a childhood friend she was stuck with.

“I don’t think they have peaches here… But who knows, I will check it out!” she said, before leaving. “I will try to make napple pie if there aren’t any…” she muttered to herself, her voice growing more distant. 

Alvin sighed. He hated when Leia was with him, wasting her efforts on him, but he hated being alone even more. All his failures would flash before his eyes. All the people he disappointed: Milla, Leia, Rowen, Elize, Cline, Haus, Jude aiming a gun at him…

Alvin blinked slowly, as his mind informed him that the last person may not have been as imaginary as he thought.

“I didn’t think I would find you wallowing in self-pity,” Jude said emotionlessly. He was holding his father’s gun. Alvin realized it was too big for him. Jude had to grip it very tightly to even keep it steady.

“Did you come to kill me?” Alvin asked, because it certainly seemed that way.

“Yes, you must have heard of Muzet’s _cleansing_ ,” Jude said, and there was a bitter note in his voice.

Alvin nodded slowly.

“I saw what she did in Nia Khera… you working for her now?” he asked, because it made some sort of twisted sense.

“Yes, she ordered me to kill you,” Jude confirmed, then paused a note of frustration entering his voice. “This isn’t what I expected.”

“Sorry to be a walking disappointment…” Alvin said, then paused, because Leia was still there and Jude definitely knew about her. “Would you spare Leia if I don’t put up a fight?”

Jude laughed humorlessly.

“You aren’t going to put up any fight anyway,” he pointed out, still aiming at Alvin’s head.

“Point, but she got tangled in this mess because of me and I don’t want to be responsible for yet another death, so…”

Jude closed the distance between them so quickly, Alvin could have sworn he had teleported.

“ _You_?! Responsible for anything?! Don’t make me laugh! You were just a leaf going where the wind blew you, not understanding _anything_! Just going along with your whims, like a—”

Jude never got to finish that sentence, because a staff hit him in the side and he let go of Alvin with a startled yelp. Alvin watched, confused, as Jude fell on the floor. Leia struck him once more for a good measure, but wasn’t intent to stay to see the results.

“Alfred!” Leia shouted, pulling at him. “We need to run.”

Alvin followed her, not very conscious of his actions. His mind kept replaying Jude’s words on repeat. He wasn’t very aware of when he even climbed the ladder leading to the narrow walkways between the trees.

“You can’t escape!” Jude hissed following them with frightening speed. Leia had to realize there would be no running away, so she drew her staff, pushing Alvin away.

“Watch me try!” she said, putting much more bravery in her voice than she had to truly feel.

“You know you won’t be able to defeat me.” It was a statement, not a question. “But if you left him here, you would have a chance,” he said coldly.

“Are you offering to spare me? Because you will be getting to Alfred over my dead body,” she hissed, but there was obvious hesitation in her stance. “Why do we even have to fight?!”

Jude tilted his head.

“Who knows…” he drawled. His sight was unfocused, but his stance never faltered as he lunged at Leia. She barely blocked his attack with her staff. “I kept asking so many times…”

“Then stop fighting!” she demanded, blocking his next attacks.

“And what? There is nothing left…” he said in a voice so dead it was hard to believe it came from a breathing human.

“We are left!” Leia shouted back, but her words didn’t seem to be getting to Jude.

“Derrick is dead, Milla is dead, most of the Exodus members are dead, and soon the whole Elympios will fall…” He chuckled. “He really was right about me outgrowing my usefulness, wasn’t he?”

“Stop talking like you have nothing left to live for!” Leia shouted, narrowly avoiding another punch.

“You are acting high and mighty because you still have something,” he hissed, moving his sight at Alvin. “You are just like me. Clinging to anyone willing to tolerate you and wanting to be useful.”

“I’m nothing like you!” she shouted, her rejection surprisingly sharp.

Something seemed to focus in Jude’s sight, as if some more rational part of him managed to surface for a moment. However, it wouldn’t be to help fix things.

“Oh, really? Because from the day we meet I felt that we were really alike. You and me. Both lying through our teeth about things we knew we would be hated for. Hiding our sins underneath smiles like fools, hoping that at least one person would forgive us. But I guess neither of us made it in time for the salvation we craved so much…”

The denial seemed to die on Leia’s lips, as Jude once more pulled out the gun, aiming it at Alvin. She screamed as she charged at him, tackling him mid-shoot. The bullet missed and the two of them fell off the walkway onto the ground.

Alvin blinked confused, as the words he had heard slowly sank into his mind.

_“...hoping at least one person would forgive us…”_

Maybe it was that simple from the beginning.

Maybe if he had been able to extend his hand it wouldn’t end this way... 

He moved to the ladder and started to descend.

He…

He needed to do something…

There was a sound of struggle and two voices snarling at each other. He couldn’t make out the words, but both of them sounded angry.

He needed to stop this…

They shouldn’t fight…

They…

A gunshot. A silence.

Alvin jumped down from the ladder and turned just in time to see Leia, who seemed to have been stradling Jude and choking him with her staff slowly falling to the ground. The gun in Jude’s hand was smoking.

Jude remained lying as Leia fell next to him. His face was frozen in shock and terror.

“I… I didn’t… I’m sorry… I… I…” He clumsily got up, as if trying to distance himself as far as he could from the limp body of Leia. However, he didn’t get far before Alvin rushed at him.

Leia… Leia was...

“Jude!” All the pain and anger and frustration amplified his voice, as Alvin swung his broadsword at Jude. The mercenary barely managed to block the attack, but his experience seemed to overwrite whatever hesitation he felt, because Jude quickly adjusted his stance to avoid the next attack and deliver a powerful punch.

“Alvin!” he hissed with so much anger and frustration that he could almost rival the medic.

Their fight was brutal and intense, with swings getting wider and punches getting sloppier the longer it lasted. Soon it devolved into something that couldn’t be called a fight anymore and before he knew it, Alvin found himself stradling Jude and just hitting him without much force. At some point he must have started crying, because there were tears running down his cheeks.

He stopped hitting Jude. Less from exhaustion and more from the sudden sense of pointlessness.

Jude noticed that, slightly turning his head so he could look at Alvin.

“Please, kill me,” he pleaded. His voice was quiet and so _so_ tired. He wasn’t struggling anymore. Just lying still and hoping for the end to come and take him.

Some part of Alvin was glad he was already crying, because if he wasn’t already, this would definitely make him.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that…

They weren’t supposed to be like this…

Milla…

“Milla didn’t die for this,” Alvin managed between the sobs. He pulled Jude by the collar and shouted with more anger. “Milla didn’t die for any of this!”

Jude seemed surprised by that outburst.

“She died for nothing,” he said. “I _let her_ die for nothi…”

“No!” Alvin interrupted before Jude could finish. “We are still here! She died to save us!”

“Who said I wanted that?!” Jude snarled, back. “There’s no point in me being here when I failed everyone! I couldn’t stop my father, I couldn’t help Elympios! It was all for nothing! All the lies I told, all the people I betrayed, all the people I killed… they…”

Alvin hit Jude before he could even register what he was doing. It was starting to be a bit of unfortunate habit, but he doubted he could break the mercenary out of his self-hatred with words alone.

Alvin stood up and pulled Jude to his feet too. The mercenary seemed too confused to resist.

“You said you wanted to become a doctor, didn’t you?” Alvin said. “Well, you are in luck, there is a wounded person who needs our help,” he continued, practically dragging Jude to Leia’s unmoving body.

“B-but I… it was my…”

“Aaaaand, if you want some _salvation_ you are in double luck, because you can start your little redemption by not letting your friend die,” Alvin added in a steely tone. That shut Jude up and he stopped resisting. He crouched next to Alvin without being prompted. Alvin broke a small smile, as he started to explain. “So when you have a wounded person you start by…”

*

“Your inability to use mana is not a physical problem,” Alvin said the next day, as they sat next to the bed, waiting for Leia to awaken.

“Um, what?” Jude muttered, visibly surprised by the topic that had been suddenly brought up. Jude had been trying to read some of the books he had found. Keyword trying, considering that his reading speed today was a quarter of what it usually was.

“At some point you must have assumed that you were defective due to being half-Elympion, but that’s wrong. Mana lobes don’t work like that. You either have the ability or you don’t. There are diseases that do influence the mana lobes, but you don’t have any symptoms that would point to that. So, the only reason why you can’t channel mana properly must be psychological.”

Jude blinked.

“Are you trying to say that I can’t channel mana, because I told myself I can’t?” he asked slowly.

“It’s… a bit more complicated,” Alvin admitted. “Look, psychology wasn’t my specialization, but I had some classes on psychological issues and it’s not uncommon for children to experience difficulties in channeling when they are young. Basically, learning to channel mana is a bit like learning to use an extra limb and while almost everyone in Rieze Maxia can do it, nobody said that everyone could do it on their first try. There are techniques to help children control their power aaaaand… I’m willing to bet money that nobody from Elympios knew about that little fact.”

Jude was silent for a moment.

“And you are telling me about this, now?” Jude asked incredulously. Alvin, rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

“Look, as I said, this really wasn’t my part of the field, plus it’s not like I can use mana at all, so it was in no way obvious to me. So could you maybe blame Rowen for that one?” he asked. “He’s supposed the be a genius arte user.”

Jude chuckled quietly. Alvin considered it a success. Since yesterday, Jude barely seemed to show any emotions.

“Do you know any?” Jude asked.

“Any what?”

“Ways to help someone control their mana? Everyone always talked about it as if you should instinctively know it,” Jude explained, looking slightly embarrassed at that admission.

“I… I remember some exercises for kids,” Alvin admitted, then added more cheekily. “If you want me to share them.”

Jude sighed in defeat, putting down the book he was holding.

“Just tell me.”

*

Leia woke up on the evening of the next day. Alvin who had been desperately trying not to fall asleep, almost fell off the chair when he saw her open her eyes.

“Alfred?” she asked drowsily.

“You okay?” Alvin asked quietly. He didn’t want to overwhelm her so soon after she had regained consciousness.

“It seems I will live,” she added with less humour than she probably wanted. “What happened to Jude?”

“Sleeping upstairs. He’d been keeping watch over you earlier.” Seeing Leia’s confused face, he added, “I punched some sense into him after he shot you.”

Leia gave him a look.

“You should probably stop trying to solve your problems by punching them,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, probably. But in my defense, Jude deserved that one for hurting you,” he retorted. Then seeing her wince, he added more gently. “He’s better now. I’m not sure what happened to him after Milla’s death, but it must have been hard on him to push him into that state.”

“Yeah, figured that one out when he was fighting me,” Leia said. She sighed. “How am I?”

“You will live,” Alvin repeated with a smile.

“How long until I’m around and moving?”

“Depends on how effective Jude’s healing will be,” Alvin admitted. “I’ve given him some pointers on mana channeling, and I think he's making improvements. We could significantly cut down on the time you would need to get back on your feet too,” Alvin explained. “It may help if you talk with him about this too… since it’s not like I know how mana control works from experience. If you feel up to it, of course.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to see him right now,” Leia agreed. “That was scary.”

“I know. I’m sorry I just… stood there,” Alvin said, almost cringing at himself.

She chuckled.

“I’m just glad my effort wasn’t in vain, you survived…”

“We all did,” Alvin admitted. “I… I spent too much time doubting myself.”

“We all doubted ourselves,” Leia said gently. “I’m sure even Milla did.” 

Alvin nodded.

“Yeah, I should have supported her more.”

“So, what are you planning to do now?” Leia asked.

“For now take care of you and Jude. You both need some time to get better and when that’s done…” Alvin paused, feeling a familiar doubt grow in him, but forced himself to continue. “I’m going to look for Milla.”

*

Leia and Jude were awkward around each other, though not as much as Alvin had feared they would be. Leia was obviously trying not to act like their fight was a big deal, even if it was a big deal and Jude was frantically trying to make up for it while also not overstepping his boundaries.

It was awkward to watch, but the only thing that Alvin could do was give the two of them time.

“I can’t believe we never questioned why you were bad at channeling,” Leia muttered as she instructed Jude from the bed. “Maybe we could have made a proper team healer out of you.”

“I’m sure you and Elize would still be leagues ahead of me,” Jude pointed out, as he tried to maintain the flow of the mana he was channeling into a stone. They found it in one of the abandoned houses. It was a kind of stone that could be imbued with mana. They were commonly used to help kids train channeling.

“You will never get better with that attitude,” Leia complained. “You need to put all of yourself into this knowing that you can do it!”

“I’m trying,” Jude muttered, but his focus was obviously waning and before long the stone stopped shining with the energy.

“Well, you are getting better at least,” Leia said.

Jude sighed.

“I think I need to go for a walk,” he said, raising from where he sat next to Leia’s bed.

“What about your training?” she asked.

“I will resume it later. I need some fresh air, now,” Jude said, waving his hand as he left the house.

There was a moment of silence as both Leia and Alvin looked at the door, before Leia moved her gaze at Alvin.

“What are you waiting for, go after him,” she huffed.

Alvin almost jumped, since he was considering doing just that.

“Shouldn’t we leave him alone?” Alvin asked, still hesitant.

“I’m sure he will love it if you go and encourage him,” Leia said with a sly smile. Alvin raised his hand, scratching his head in indecision, but soon left the house.

Jude was nowhere in sight, but Alvin didn’t have to search too far for him. He found the mercenary in the orchard, going through his martial arts moves. Some of them felt familiar and he realized after a moment that those were moves that Leia had been using. Jude was mimicking her style, easily moving from one stance to the other.

“Do you want something?” Jude asked, not ever turning back.

“I was afraid you would feel discouraged,” Alvin started, feeling a bit awkward. “But when I saw you looking so focused, I didn’t want to interrupt your training.”

“Are you worried about me?” Jude asked.

Alvin considered lying. He didn’t.

“Obviously,” he admitted. “I can’t pretend what happened wasn’t at least concerning.” He paused. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jude was quiet for a moment, as he continued going through the motions.

“What do you think happened?” Jude asked.

“Eh?”

“I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it? So I’m curious, what do you think pushed me to act like I did several days ago?” Jude asked.

Alvin was silent for a moment, but Jude was right. He did speculate heavily, having nothing better to do while he waited for Leia to wake up.

“You’ve been trying to help Exodus members, but with Muzet going around and striking down everyone who knows something about Elympios, I’m guessing you weren’t really successful.” He paused. “I don’t think you would try to track down Muzet. She must have found you. Probably threatened you into that little assassination stunt.”

“...she slaughtered a family I was trying to hide. Mother, father, two children. All while pinning me to the floor with her powers, so I wouldn’t be able to do a thing,” Jude explained. His voice was wavering between sadness and anger. His voice grew hysterical with his next words. “She said it was because we _used to share a bond_. That she would spare me and give me a chance,” Jude explained, as he turned to Alvin. Tears were flowing down his eyes. “I should have refused her... but I was... scared… I think it amused her. It was as if she found my helplessness funny.”

“That… sounds terrible,” Alvin admitted.

“Before I knew it I found a lead and tracked you down to Hamil and… I didn’t even know what I was doing. I didn’t want to kill either of you, but I was so scared of Muzet I ended up following her orders and then when I shot Leia… I just wanted to…”

Alvin silenced Jude, before he could say anything more, by pulling him into a hug.

“You are safe now,” he said, trying to sound as reassuring as he could. Jude was quietly sobbing into his shirt, holding it as if he was afraid that Alvin could disappear any moment. “I will do something about Muzet, so don’t worry about her…”

“I have nothing left, Alvin,” Jude sobbed, interrupting him. “I burned all the bridges. Even if I stop Muzet, there is nowhere for me to return.”

Alvin froze, because it was true that Jude betrayed many people, but there was surely someone out there— 

“What about your mom?” he asked with a strong feeling of foreboding.

Jude slowly raised his head to look at Alvin. His eyes were filled with tears and there was a deep sorrow in his face that made Alvin feel as if his heart would shatter.

“She’s dead, Alvin,” Jude said, his voice hoarse from crying. He was pretty much leaning on Alvin now. “I got a letter shortly after Milla’s death… I… Both my parents are dead and it’s my fault…”

“It’s not!” Alvin assured, but guilt shone in Jude’s eyes like a moon in the dark sky. The mercenary said nothing, instead letting go of Alvin’s shirt in favour of actually embracing him.

“Thank you,” Jude said, so quietly, Alvin barely heard it. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“It’s… I…” Alvin stumbled on the words, before he shook his head to force himself to be honest. “I don’t want you to be sad anymore,” he admitted.

“I never wanted to betray anyone,” Jude sobbed.

“I know.”

“I didn’t want Milla to die.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t want to kill my dad.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know what to do now…”

“It’s okay… you have time to figure it out,” Alvin said. “You don’t have to rush it. Just think carefully of what you want to do with your life.” 

“Do _you_ know?”

Alvin raised his head to look into the sky, blocked by the tree branches.

“Yeah, I know now.”

*

Alvin didn’t intend to eavesdrop. Really.

“I… I want to say I’m sorry,” Jude start awkwardly as he and Leia sat outside the house. They seemed to be taking a break from Jude’s channeling training. “I’m very sorry for hurting you and if there is anything I can do for you in return, just tell me…”

“It’s not so easy,” Leia said, interrupting him.

Jude nodded.

“I know, but I’m not that good at doing nothing,” he admitted, looking down at the ground.

“Why did you attack us?” she asked. “I get the feeling that Alvin knows, because he’s been looking even more determined since yesterday.”

“Muzet threatened me,” Jude said shortly. “I was so scared and lost I just followed her order, even when a voice inside me kept screaming not to do it… I guess, you can’t stop being a puppet so easily…” he added in a self-depreciative voice.

Leia hit him on the head with her hand. Jude winced.

“You are a human, Jude! Stop acting like you are some sort of tool,” she chided him.

Jude sighed.

“I wonder about that sometimes.”

“About what?”

“Am I even human anymore? I was so concentrated on making the right choices I think I lost sight of what I truly wanted at some point. Human lives become nothing more than glorified numbers. A living human is a better than dead human, so any plan that leaves people hurt, but alive is better than a plan that leaves people dead. I made a mathematical formula for that. To quantify how moral my plans were.”

This time it was Leia, who lowered her head down.

“It’s… I can’t imagine that,” she admitted.

“That only speaks of how kind you are,” Jude pointed out.

“No! You are also kind, just…” her voice faltered.

“Twisted?” Jude supplied and Leia stiffened, providing all the answer Jude needed. “You don’t need to try to mince words for my sake. It’s not like you.”

“Do you expect me to lash at you?” she asked, raising a brow.

“If it makes you feel better,” he returned her gaze evenly. “Bottling your feelings won’t lead to anything good. I think I proved that point quite clearly.”

Leia sighed, dropping her gaze.

“I....” she started and her eyes filled with tears. “I was scared. I don’t think I was so scared before. Even when we fought all those monsters.”

Jude only nodded.

“Seeing you so hostile was terrifying. I always felt that you were dangerous. That I shouldn’t trust you, but I forced myself, because Alvin relied on you so much,” she sobbed. “I was jealous of how much he relied on you.”

“I’m sorry for making everything so difficult,” Jude apologized. His voice was more vulnerable than before.

“And it was so hard, when you kept betraying us, because Alvin was hurt too and I couldn’t protect him. I swore I would become someone he could rely on, but when push came to shove I was powerless.”

“We all were,” Jude assured her.

“And then you returned all broken and hostile and I couldn’t help feeling that I helped make this happen…” Leia admitted. “That if I tried harder I could have stopped you from falling to the rock bottom. That if I wasn’t so wrapped in my own problems...”

“I don’t think it was possible,” Jude added quietly. “I lost too much too quickly to take it well under any circumstances… my family, my mission, Milla…”

“Did your mother…?”

“She’s dead,” Jude said quickly, averting his eyes. “Though, it probably won’t sink in until I return to Xian Du to see her room empty…”

“I’m sorry,” she supplied.

“No need to be. It’s not your fault she’s dead.”

“Alvin said she was ill,” Leia said. “Was it the illness?”

“It was…” Jude started, but then stopped himself. “I don’t want to talk about it. I think I need more time.”

“That’s okay,” Leia said quickly, averting her eyes.

“I knew this would happen… but despite that it still felt terrible when I got a letter saying she was dead. Like she should have been given more time…”

“Jude…”

“Don’t worry. In some ways it’s for the better. Now I can finally start thinking about the future without being fettered by the past. Even if it’s hard.”

Leia was silent for a moment.

“You are strong.”

Jude sighed.

“Don’t sell yourself short, you’re plenty strong too,” he said with fond exasperation. Leia blinked at him in surprise. “Though I think you should also try to think about what to do now.”

Leia just nodded at that.

*

Elize and Rowen found them about a week later. At this point Leia’s wound had been completely healed and Jude somehow managed to read half of the books in Hamil. Alvin wasn’t even sure how that happened, but their house was now stacked with books that Jude was going through, making it look like a makeshift library.

“I’m glad to see you are in good health,” Rowen said.

“Yeah, mostly,” Alvin admitted. Jude was shuffling awkwardly behind him and Leia.

“I see Jude is here with you,” Rowen noted. The mercenary froze. “Last time I heard, you’ve been ambushed by Muzet. There were no survivors.”

“She thought it would be very funny to kill everyone except me,” Jude said with no humour in his voice. “And threaten me to do her bidding.”

“How barbaric,” Rowen said with displeasure.

“Alvin seems to be planning to find her and I thought it would be a good occasion to make her regret not finishing me off when she could,” Jude noted darkly.

“You are planning to find Muzet?” Rowen questioned Alvin.

“Yes, I want to confront Maxwell,” Alvin said strongly. “If Milla wasn’t the real Maxwell, but a decoy, then we need to find the real one. I have a lot of questions for the original.”

“I see,” Rowen nodded.

“We will go with you!” Teepo shouted.

“Yeah!” Elize added.

*

Muzet wasn’t much of a fight.

“She’s lost,” Jude said, as the spirit escaped from them.

“What do you mean?” Rowen asked.

“She’s nothing like when I met her. I think something happened between her and Maxwell,” Jude explained. “She always talked about how her actions were the will of Maxwell…”

“But if she were to stop receiving his guidance, she would be lost,” Rowen reasoned.

“Exactly,” Jude nodded.

“We need to hurry, then,” Alvin said. “To Nia Khera.”


	7. The Return to Elympios

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an extra early update sponsored by the fact that tomorrow I'm leaving to meet up with my family and as a result my internet connection will likely be extra spotty. So I'd rather update now and make sure you get the chapter than be late with it.
> 
> Just two chapters left now! We're getting close to the end.

Ivar was waiting for them. Or rather for Alvin.

“We don’t have time for this,” Alvin hissed.

“Shut up and face me, phony!” Ivar taunted, standing in his way.

Alvin took a breath. He had enough.

“You know what Ivar? I lied,” Alvin said slowly.

“What do you mean, phony?” 

“I always tried to act civil around you, because you were Milla’s handmaid and I didn’t want to embarrass her. But since you have all but abandoned your duty towards her, I can finally say it.” Alvin took a breath before shouting with all the condescension he could muster. “I think you are fucking pathetic!”

“What?!”

“Milla gave you important job and yet you were unable to follow through with it, you let yourself be easily manipulated, and instead of trying to figure out something now that she is dead, you keep clinging to petty squabbles.” Alvin paused for a second to give weight to his final words. “You are the most annoying person I’ve ever known!”

“Same to you, phony!” Ivar stammered, not expecting his hostile sentiments to be finally returned. “I hate you too!”

Kicking Ivar’s ass was one of the most satisfying things Alvin had done in a long time.

*

After some mountain climbing they encountered the next group of Gaius’ henchmen. Or maybe henchwomen would be more fitting descriptor.

“I see you’ve survived until now, Jude,” Presa said.

“Oh, oh, Pimple’s here, too!” Agria added, already activating her fire magic. Both of them were blocking the access to the portal.

“I’m guessing you won’t let us pass,” Alvin said, readying his greatsword.

“No fucking way!” Agria said ominously, as fire spread through the cliff.

Alvin looked back at Jude and Leia, but as conflicted as the two of them looked, they both took combat stance.

“Let’s get them!”

*

This victory felt much less satisfying.

“Presa…” Jude approached the woman as soon as the battle ended.

“It seems you have finally found a place where you belong,” she said, interrupting him. “I’m glad. I was afraid you would die somewhere before ever knowing what it’s like…”

Jude’s face scrunched, as if he was barely stopping himself from tears.

“Presa, I’m so sor—”

His apology was interrupted by a large tremor. Unfortunately, a part of the cliff had been damaged during the battle and was now falling down. Jude barely managed to backstep to the safety, but Presa and Agria weren’t so lucky.

Alvin moved forward wanting to catch Jude who seemed in danger of falling himself, but could only watch as the two woman fell down— 

That is before Leia barely managed to grasp Agria’s hand and Jude, who had recently discovered his strong need for atonement, jumped into the chasm to catch Presa.

For a moment it seemed like Jude would end up committing a double suicide, before Alvin realized that the mercenary threw his scarf like a lifeline, as he fell down.

“Alvin!” Jude shouted, as he held scarf in one hand, and Presa’s wrist in the other.

The medic barely managed to catch the scarf. It was good thing Jude insisted on buying quality clothes, because an average scarf would probably tear immediately under the weight. Considering how many sharp things Jude hid in it, it was probably made from something near indestructible.

“What are you doing, Julius?!” Presa shouted, obviously confused by the whole thing.

“I’m not going to let you go again, Jill!” he replied through his clenched teeth. “I regretted it every day.”

“You are an idiot!” she shouted through the tears that appeared in her eyes.

The other duo ended up doing a much less sentimental exchange, as Agria forced Leia to let go and dropped down into the chasm, while laughing. Leia looked extremely sad, but didn’t waste time, pulling out her staff and moving its end toward Presa.

“Quick, catch this!” she shouted. Presa reluctantly took a hold of the staff, while carefully letting go of Jude’s hand. It took the team several minutes of hard work and cooperation, but both Jude and Presa found their way back onto the cliff.

“You are ridiculous,” Presa muttered between deep breaths she had been taking.

“I can do what I want now,” Jude replied defiantly, as he grinned. “I can jump from a cliff to save you, if I want.”

“No jumping from cliffs,” Alvin said, flickering the mercenary’s forehead. “You almost died!”

Jude yelped in pain, but was still smiling widely. 

“What are you going to do now, Lady Presa?” Rowen asked.

“I think this is the end of my life as a part of Chimeriad,” she admitted. “I don’t expect that Gaius will want me after yet another failure, and I think I have enough of being a spy. Would you mind if I followed you for now?” she asked.

Jude looked hopefully at the rest of the team. Alvin belatedly remembered he became the team’s leader by proxy now that Milla was gone, only when all the pairs of eyes concentrated on him.

“I think it’s fine. We don’t know what’s in that portal, so you will probably have to be on your toes. And we are planning to confront Maxwell, so worst case scenario we get some wrathful smiting. Still up for a ride?”

Presa nodded.

“It’s not like I have anywhere better to go. This at least is bound to be interesting.”

*

Interesting was one word for confronting the Lord of Spirits, Maxwell.

Infuriating was another one.

“So you are just going to let Elympios die?!” Jude shouted angrily, as Maxwell confirmed that this had been his plan all along.

“It’s their own fault for relying on spyrixes,” Maxwell replied indifferently.

“Of course, they are relying on them after you took away the only alternative they had!” Jude continued to argue.

“I may be new to the fact that I’m from Elympios, but even without that I can sure tell that Milla was much better at being Maxwell than you are!” Alvin hissed.

That struck a nerve and Maxwell lashed on them. Alvin moved forward propelled by anger and sense of righteousness. Milla wasn’t there anymore, but he was here and it didn’t matter if he had to face a god. 

He would continue moving forward to help finish her mission.

His greatsword shattered the barrier Maxwell put around himself and Alvin pulled his left hand back, so he could give Maxwell a punch he deserved.

After twenty-six years of going with the flow, Alfred Vint Svent found his conviction and smacked a god in the face to prove it.

*

Milla appeared in a flash of light, strong and otherworldly. It was the most comforting thing their party had seen. Apparently, the Four Great Spirits also agreed that Milla was a better Maxwell. Not very surprising given how poor job the current one was doing.

Unfortunately, their little attempt at instituting Milla as new Maxwell got interrupted by an unexpected teamup of Gaius and Muzet.

“Presa,” Gaius said, noticing the presence of his henchman. “Where’s Agria?”

“Dead,” Presa said shortly. “She fell off a cliff. I doubt she survived.”

Gaius frowned, then looked back at Presa.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked, as Alvin’s team remained rooted to the ground by Muzet’s overpowering gravity attack.

“Yes, after failing to stop intruders from accessing the portal I realized I was no longer fit to be a part of Chimeriad. I would like to officially resign.”

Gaius nodded.

“Understood.” He paused. “Are you going to oppose me?”

“I haven’t thought that far, but I must admit I’m starting to find your current actions questionable,” she replied levelly despite the gravity pushing on her.

“Then I will show no mercy,” Gaius seemed to decide.

“I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything else,” Presa chuckled.

Alvin saw her fall through the portal together with them before he lost consciousness.

*

When Alvin woke up he saw a familiar face.

Not familiar in the _one of my friends_ sense, but in _I’ve known that person a long, long time ago_ sense.

“Balan?” he mumbled as his brain somehow scrambled a name out of the deep recesses of his memory that he hadn’t been used to relying on yet.

“I guess I should be grateful you remember me, Alfred,” Balan replied. “Jude mentioned you had an amnesia until recently.”

“Yeah, I’ve been blessed with not remembering that you existed for twenty years, but I guess I now have to confront the dark past you represent,” Alvin said in an unnecessarily ominous tone, as he ascertained where he was. The room was very much unfamiliar, but the decor was very reminiscent of Balan’s old room. Alvin froze, as he belatedly realized what it meant. “Wait, are we in the Elympios?!” he asked, rapidly rising from the bed.

“Yeah, welcome home, cousin,” Balan said cheerfully, as he finished making tea. “Don’t be so alarmed. Your companions are okay. I will call them here if you are ready. I somehow managed to get rid of them earlier on the excuse that you needed some peace and quiet to rest. They are probably harassing other tenants as we speak.”

“I can imagine,” Alvin agreed. “I think I need a moment to gather myself. How did you even find me?”

“I stumbled on your group lying unconscious on the road when I was returning from the lab,” Balan admitted. “Luckily for you, Jude managed to regain consciousness and filled me on what was happening. I was surprised to learn Derrick had a son. He never mentioned that.”

“Not much familial love going around from what I saw,” Alvin admitted.

“Not that surprising given that it was a mesalians. He probably didn’t want Jude inheriting the family name,” Balan mused.

Alvin froze, as he grasped the implication.

“Wait a moment, are you implying that they are some kind of nobility?” Alvin asked.

“Yes, don’t you remember? Mathis family. They were the owners of your parents clinic,” Balan said.

A memory surfaced after those words and Alvin remembered being awkwardly introduced by his parents to Derrick. He stumbled on his name back then and almost cried because he found the man scary.

“Wait, does that mean Jude is some kind of hotshot in this world?” Alvin asked, because he had apparently misjudged just how ironic Jude’s life had been. It was almost like an adventure story, really.

“Well, I already talked with him about it and empty title is all he can get. It took Derrick several years to establish contact with us and during that time he was declared dead and his fortune was distributed amongst his business partners. It’s part of the reason why he dedicated himself so much to the Otherworldly Reactor Plan. He hoped to regain what he lost in that crash.”

“He was an idiot,” Alvin said honestly. “For not seeing what he gained from it.”

Balan shrugged.

“From the outsider perspective I think he was incredible. Thanks to him we might have a chance to save Elympios from doom,” he said.

Alvin wanted to ask him to elaborate, but before he could the door opened with several people shouting his name simultaneously. Before Alvin could comprehend what was going on his face was swallowed by a familiar darkness of Teepo’s mouth.

“Are you okay?” Elize asked anxiously as she looked at him. Alvin somehow managed to pull Teepo off his face to smile at her.

“Yeah, I’ve just woken up several minutes ago. Balan was filling me on what happened,” he explained, as he patted Elize on the head.

“So you remember him? That’s good,” Jude ascertained as he came closer. Elize tensed slightly. It seemed she was still wary of him. “I was afraid I was forcing you into one awkward family reunion.”

“That was E.S.S.Zenethra,” Alvin said and immediately regretted his terrible joke, because Jude’s face fell.

“Yeah, I guess you are right,” the mercenary agreed. Alvin noticed Presa giving him a strongly disapproving look.

“Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean…” he started, but Jude shook his head. 

“No, it’s okay, I can’t keep running away from what happened,” Jude said with a smile that was as kind as it was sad. Alvin realized he was probably staring too much at Jude’s face, when Balan whistled quietly. What a traitor.

Alvin coughed.

“And what you were doing while I was out of it?” he asked, hoping for a topic change.

“I wanted to better understand Elympios and its inhabitants so I asked Jude to tour us,” Milla explained.

“Wait, but isn’t this Jude’s first time in Elympios too?” Alvin asked.

“Is it? No wonder it felt like he was scrambling for an answer with some of my questions,” Milla mused.

Jude made an exasperated sigh of someone who was too used to being presented with impossible tasks to even comment on that. Alvin gave him an understanding smile.

“How about I take the role of the tour guide. My memories are still pretty spotty, but I should manage,” he suggested, getting up and slinging his arm around Jude’s shoulders in a familiar gesture. Milla nodded at that. “Then I will catch you later, Balan.”

As he left the apartment, Alvin realized that his anxiety wasn’t as overbearing as he expected.

Perhaps, even Elympios wasn’t as foreign as he feared if there were people he trusted at his side.

*

“The architecture of this place is certainly novel,” Presa mused.

“You sound as if it’s to your liking. Are you thinking of staying here?” Jude asked with a smile.

“Maybe. I would like to consider my options carefully,” she admitted. “But given that I don’t have any reason to return to Rieze Maxia this might not be a bad idea. No old associates to run into. Maybe I could really start a new life here.”

“I wasn’t planning to rush you… It’s just, I’ve been thinking about this myself. What to do after this is all over,” Jude admitted. “Then again, before we start any new chapters in our lives we should drop by Rieze Maxia. I would like to make Agria a tomb.”

“Yes,” Presa agreed. “I was thinking about that too.”

“I can’t help thinking that if we weren’t there that maybe she wouldn’t have…”

Presa shook her head.

“You know she wouldn’t want you to think that way. She would stab you if she saw you moping over her.”

Jude smiled at her.

“You are right, I guess I should concentrate on my future,” he admitted with a shy smile.

Alvin shouldn’t have felt so surprised at how familiar Jude and Presa were with each other, but it did make sense given that they used to date. Alvin never really considered how their relationship had looked, but now he could see why they ended up together. There was just a certain ease they had with each other that made Alvin feel like his bond with Jude was nothing more than a pale imitation of what the mercenary had with Presa.

This definitely wasn’t jealousy, no sir.

“You mentioned staying here… Don’t you have an unfinished business in Xian Du?” Presa asked, drawing Alvin out of his self-pity. He continued to pretend he wasn’t listening to them, but rather watching Elize running around the market with Teepo floating behind her.

“You knew about that?” Jude asked surprised. Presa nodded.

“I wanted to know what was worth to you more than me.” She sighed. “I felt stupid when I found out, you know. Until then I was thinking of finding your weak point and using it against you… childish, I know,” she admitted with a self-depreciating chuckle.

“I see. But to answer your question. No, not anymore,” Jude admitted, sadness clear in his voice.

“I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation I think she was a great woman.”

“Yeah… I… Can we talk about this later?” Jude asked.

“You mean without eavesdroppers?” she said, turning around to give Alvin a mean glare.

“Sorry,” Alvin muttered, deciding to leave them in favour of stopping Teepo from harassing one of the merchants.

*

When they returned to the apartment Balan wasn’t there. They dispersed into smaller groups. Alvin decided to take advantage of the fact that for now Presa seemed more interested in the bookshelf than Jude and used that opportunity to sit next to him. The mercenary was reading a book.

“So, uh, how are you doing?” Alvin asked awkwardly.

“I’m not angry at you for eavesdropping, if that’s what you are worried about,” Jude answered in his trademark flat tone.

Alvin weighed his options.

“I’m worried about a lot of things,” he admitted with a sigh.

“I noticed,” Jude said closing the book. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I guess it’s only now that I’m here that it’s truly sinking in. That Elympios is dying.” He paused. “I know it should be kind of obvious, but…”

“It’s alright. I feel the same way,” Jude interrupted him. “I heard from other Exodus members about how barren Elympios was in comparison to Rieze Maxia, but it still didn’t prepare me for what I saw.” He cast his eyes down. “I guess my father was right in that I was talking about things I didn’t understand,” he added with a sigh.

“Hardly,” Alvin disagreed. “It just means he was shit at explaining the important stuff to you.”

That seemed to cheer Jude up a bit.

“Guess you are right. He always acted like I should know things that he didn’t even explain properly,” Jude said with a huff.

“There was a professor like that in Talim. I hated his guts.”

They both chuckled at that.

“What are you planning to do now?” Jude asked.

“I want to help save Elympios. I’m sure that’s what Milla wants too. She’s been thinking about stuff ever since we landed here,” he added. “So I’m planning to continue helping her for now. And after that… I will see.”

Jude nodded.

“I’m thinking about it too,” he admitted. “I will probably want to help Presa find a place to stay. And make sure that Elize finds a place she can call home.”

“About that,” Alvin said dropping his voice to a whisper. “I was thinking about adopting her… I wanted to ever since we found her in Hamil, but I’m afraid…”

“...that you can’t be a proper parent for her?” Jude finished.

“I don’t even have a job. And I don’t know the first thing about taking care of kids. Not to mention Rowen and Driselle made it clear that they would love to adopt her and aren’t they a much better choice...”

Jude chuckled at him.

“I think you are overthinking it way too much,” the mercenary said still laughing. “Elize adores you, even if she thinks you lie too much.”

Alvin quickly turned his head to make sure Elize hadn’t noticed their exchange, but luckily she was too absorbed in her discussion with Leia to notice. It also seemed that Presa got into a heated argument with Milla about a book they both read. Rowen, meanwhile, was happily helping himself to Balan’s stash of tea.

“You really think so?” he asked Jude, still having trouble believing the notion.

“If you have so much doubts you should ask her yourself. It’s as much her choice to make as it is yours, isn’t it?” the mercenary pointed out.

Alvin nodded slowly.

“Thanks, that was really helpful,” he admitted. “If there is anything you would like to talk about…”

“No, not at the moment,” Jude interrupted him quickly. Then fell silent, seeing Alvin’s shocked face. “Sorry, I’m just… not used to making my own choices. I’m afraid I will just end up falling back on my old habits…”

“Ah, no, it’s alright. I was just surprised,” Alvin reassured him. “We all have a lot of things to worry about.”

“You said you wanted to save Elympios,” Jude said, returning to their previous conversation.

“Yeah, I’m not sure how to go about it… but I want to do something to help both Elympios and Rieze Maxia.”

“Is that your mission now?”

“Probably,” Alvin said with a small smile. “Unless I fall back on old habits and run away from the responsibility.”

Jude nodded slowly and pulled something out of his jacket. It took Alvin a second to recognize the gun that had belonged to Derrick.

“You should take it. You lack a long range weapon,” Jude said matter-of-factly, trying not to look Alvin in the eyes.

Alvin extended his hand, but then hesitated.

“But isn’t that a memento?” He knew that the weapon must have had a lot of sentimental value to Jude.

“Yes, but I don’t want to keep it,” Jude admitted, finally looking up at Alvin. “And since you are going to pursue the same mission as him, I think he wouldn’t mind you having this. As a reminder,” he paused, before adding quickly. “It’s too big for me anyway. There’s no use keeping a weapon that you can’t wield.”

Alvin was silent for a moment, considering Jude’s words. 

“Thanks,” he said, finally taking weapon. It fitted surprisingly well into his hand. “Just don’t think you are ever getting it back!” he said with a cocky grin.

Jude smiled back at him.

“I sincerely hope so.”

*

After Balan returned and they managed to get the information as to where they landed, their team gathered to discuss what to do next.

“If we go to those coordinates, we should be able to return to Rieze Maxia,” Milla explained.

“Yes, this is probably a good moment for everyone to think about what they want to do,” Alvin said, looking around.

“You are not planning to return now,” Leia said. Alvin nodded.

“Now that I have my memories back I can’t pretend this problem doesn’t concern me. I’m planning to stay until I figure out a way to save both worlds.”

“I’m guessing it’s the same for you,” Milla said, looking at Jude.

“Of course. For all his great qualities Alvin isn’t exactly a great problem solver when the problem in question can’t be punched,” Jude said with a pleasant smile.

“Punching Maxwell would have worked if Gaius didn’t appear,” Alvin pointed out with a pout. Leia and Elize laughed at that, while Jude barely hid his chuckle. “Yeah, right, laugh at perfectly valid and effective problem-solving technique,” Alvin deadpanned, because reminding everyone that he was pretty smart when it counted probably wouldn’t help at this point.

“Can I help too?” Elize asked, when she stopped laughing.

“Of course,” Alvin said immediately. “You would be brains and cuteness of the operation.”

“And me? What about me?” Teepo questioned. “What role would I have.”

“Moral support,” Alvin said with his best poker face.

“Wait, then what role would I have?” Leia asked.

“Uhh… hitting people with staff?” Alvin suggested, but quickly withdrew his suggestion, seeing as Leia reached for her staff willing to immediately fulfill her role. “Kidding, kidding!”

“It’s good to see everyone in such high spirits, but we can’t forget that this is quite a daunting task and the odds are not in our favour. The spirix devices, the Otherworldly Reactor Plan, and Gaius. Our success is reliant on how we deal with all those problems.”

“Yes, and I think everyone had seen for themselves that eliminating spyrixes from Elympios is simply not feasible,” Jude added. 

“And unless the schism is removed, Elympios will be doomed even if we do manage to figure something out,” Milla continued.

“That’s a pickle,” Alvin agreed. “Finding a solution that satisfies both Elympions and spirits.”

Milla was silent for a moment.

“If we can’t eliminate spyrix then I will take the extra effort to watch over and protect the birth of new spirits so their numbers stay intact,” she announced.

“But that—” Leia started before Milla cut her off with a speech on spirits being a part of nature cycle.

“I will support both spirits and humans,” Milla said in a tone that killed any argument. She rose from her seat. “I think we wasted enough time on this. We should go to Helioborg.”

“I agree,” Alvin said, also raising from his seat. “Any place working on spyrix research must be involved in an Otherworldly Reactor Plan. We may find a clue there.”

They all agreed and set out, each of them carrying their own convictions and worries.

*

“I didn’t think you would come with us,” Alvin said as he glanced at Presa, who had joined them on their trek to Helioborg Fortress.

“My, you were the one who said I was free to follow you,” she pointed out, as if Alvin’s doubts were completely unfounded.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think you would stick around. You didn’t seem very interested in helping fight Maxwell,” he retorted.

“Aside from the fact that you all beat me pretty thoroughly before that, I dropped my magical focus when I was falling down the cliff. I have been unable to cast my more powerful artes without it.”

Alvin glanced at a book attached to her belt.

“I’m guessing you found a substitute,” he said, staring at the book. It looked a bit familiar. “Wait, isn’t this Balan’s?”

“I can assure you I will make better use of it than he,” she said confidently. “I can discuss this matter with him later, if it bothers you so much.”

Alvin had a strong suspicion that at the end of the discussion Balan would gladly give her half of his private library, not just this one book.

“Ah, no, that’s none of my business. I just thought this book looked familiar,” Alvin said, deciding to avoid the problem entirely.

Presa chuckled and moved closer to him, so that he could clearly hear her even as she lowered her voice.

“Don’t worry. I’m not planning to betray you. I just want to see this through until the end,” she assured him so quietly that nobody else could probably catch her words.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Alvin said, because his unease had an entirely different source.

“I’m also not planning to take Jude away from you,” she whispered. 

It took all of Alvin’s self-control not to sputter.

“That’s…” he started, but cut himself off before he said something embarrassing. 

“I’m well aware that I can’t get back the chance that I lost,” she said, her voice tinged in regret. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish to see him find happiness.”

Alvin didn’t know what to say, so he merely nodded. Presa smiled before moving ahead of him to talk with Milla. Despite his worries, Alvin was happy to see her stand firmly on her two feet.

*

When they reached the Helioborg Fortress it was in chaos. Apparently, Gaius and Muzet decided to pay a visit. Their group fought through the wayward machines, gathering information. It seemed that the spirit of electricity, Volt, got out of control.

They found the runaway spirit on one of the rooftops.

“I think we need to beat it up,” Alvin said, when Jude’s attempt to talk with it ended unsuccessful.

“Guess, we need to rely on Alfred’s problem solving method,” Milla decided.

“Hey, it’s as much your method as it is mine!” Alvin protested, as they ran into the battle.

*

Gaius appeared from one of Muzet’s portals to talk shit after they defeated Volt. Alvin, mindful of how the whole party (except Jude, bless him for being quiet and non-judgemental about the whole thing) had earlier shamed him on going along with what pretty and charismatic people did, made sure to stand his ground when he talked with Gaius.

“I attempted to tether with a spyrite, because I thought it was something you would consider,” Gaius admitted. “However, their power is beyond human control.”

“Wow, wow, that’s not how you go about researching those things you know,” Alvin argued. “My professors would laugh at me if I told him this was my research sample.”

“Hmph, be that as it may, it leaves us with no choice but to eradicate every last spyrix from this world,” Gaius proclaimed, looking in distaste at Volt’s prone form.

“So that really is your plan,” Jude said visibly displeased.

“Don’t you realize what would happen?” Leia asked in disbelief.

“We would end the Otherworldly Reactor Plan once and for all. Surely the end justifies the means.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jude said, stepping forward. “Unless you are planning to also eradicate the schism, you are still leaving this world to die.”

“Of course we are leaving the schism in place until we finish our task!” Muzet said smugly. “We can’t risk Elympions exploiting Rieze Maxia with their spyrixes.”

Alvin couldn’t help noticing Jude and Muzet exchanging hostile gazes while Milla asked Gaius what he planned to do with Maxwell and the humans who would suffer due to elimination of the spyrixes. Gaius had answer of course. It sounded responsible and grand. Like everything Gaius did.

But was it right?

“Alvin! Milla! You of all people should understand the ideals I’m striving for!” Gaius shouted pointing his finger at them. 

“Ideals this, ideals that… all I can see is a big bully who forces his vision of the world on the others,” Alvin said in distaste. “Can’t you see what you are doing?”

“Spyrixes are necessary for those people,” Milla added. “You can’t just take them away.”

Gaius scoffed.

“All you talk about are possibilities. I demand certainties.”

“Living only by certainties will leave you hollow, Gaius,” Jude said.

“Hmph, bold words for someone who failed,” the king retorted.

“It doesn’t matter how many times I failed in the past if I succeed now,” Jude said strongly. “And I didn’t take up your advice, so I don’t expect you will follow mine either.”

“This conversation is pointless. Please, let’s be off,” Muzet requested.

Gaius didn’t look as if he was quite finished, but he considered Muzet’s words and nodded. The two of them left through the rift.

“So, we were unable to persuade him, huh,” Alvin said, feeling disappointed. Somewhere in his heart he hoped he would be able to convince Gaius this time.

“He is stubborn,” Milla said.

“Yeah, but we are even more stubborn,” Alvin said with confidence. “Let’s concentrate on what we can do now.”

*

“How are we going to get the elevator working again?” Alvin wondered loudly, after they spotted Balan.

“We could use Volt,” Jude suggested, looking thoughtfully at the unconscious spirit. “I could attempt to tether with him.”

“Wait, isn’t this too dangerous?” Alvin asked. They had both seen firsthand what a botched connection could do to a person when Derrick died.

“I don’t think it’s wise,” Rowen offered, though he did nothing to stop Jude from approaching Volt.

“No, it’s not,” Jude admitted. “But I’m done playing it safe.”

He took the spirit fossil and placed it in the casing. It wasn’t long before the spirit reacted, floating into the air and releasing his energy to nearby poles. Still, it wasn’t enough.

“Please, just a little more,” Jude begged. Unfortunately, it seemed this was as far as Jude’s control went, because a second later, his knees almost buckled and he grunted, barely managing to keep himself upright.

“This is the same backlash that hit Derrick! You should give it up Jude!” Milla said.

No, it was wrong. It was.

“Keep going Jude! You can do it!” he shouted, as he moved closer. “We can do it.”

Jude looked surprised when he saw Alvin place his hand above the casing to help fight the backlash effect.

“Honestly, I don’t understand why you insist on doing reckless things by yourself,” Milla said, coming from the other side to also place her hand close to casing. 

“You are the last person to preach that, Milla,” Alvin quipped and Jude smiled at both of them.

Before long Leia, Elize, Rowen and Presa also extended their hands towards the casing.

“Thanks everyone,” Jude muttered, visibly moved by the gesture. As cliche as it was, their combined power seemed to be what Jude needed to help him stabilize the energy and a second later he managed to send a strong current of energy towards the pole.

As they watched the facility come back to life, Alvin couldn’t help feeling that the tired but satisfied smile on Jude’s face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

*

Balan filled them in on information regarding the research and spyrites.

“So spyrites could be used to substitute the spyrixes,” Alvin summarized.

“It will be a gradual process. And it will require the help of Rieze Maxians. But, yes,” Balan explained. “That’s what I meant when I said earlier that Derrick’s research could save Elympios.”

Everyone looked visibly uncomfortable at that comment, but there were more pressing matters. Like a certain king intent on ruining Elympios.

“Maybe with this we can convince Gaius,” Leia suggested, but Alvin shook his head.

“I doubt it. I feel like we missed our last chance to talk things out with him,” he said. “Next time when we meet him, we will have to settle things with our fists.”

“You’re just saying that because you are better at convincing people with force,” Leia deadpanned.

“What? No!” he looked around for support. “Jude, Milla, you know what I’m talking about right?”

“Of course, I agree that the forceful approach seems to have the highest rate of success,” Milla said with a straight face. Unfortunately, Jude was as unhelpful as her, because he was barely holding himself from laughing at Alvin’s plight.

Traitors. All of them.

Alvin sighed.

“Let’s go find the place where we landed. From what Balan said it should be somewhere close to here.”

*

The small rift wasn’t too hard to find. The problem was that, well, _it was small_.

“We will probably die if we jump there,” Rowen offered helpfully.

“Yes, we should return to the city and figure out something else,” Leia agreed.

Alvin was silent, as he watched their team discuss.

“Everyone,” he suddenly said, “If you aren’t planning to stick through I think this is time we parted ways.”

“I agree,” Milla said. “If you plan to return to Rieze Maxia this is probably where you should stop.”

“What do you mean?” Elize asked confused.

“I… I wouldn’t be able to come so far if it wasn’t for all of you supporting me,” Alvin admitted. “But we can’t move forward without risking our lives and fighting Gaius. And I don’t want to drag anyone with me, because they felt pressured to do so. It will be pointless if you fight a fight that you don’t believe in.”

“If we can’t be honest with ourselves about why we’re fighting, then there’s no point in fighting in the first place,” Milla explained.

“That makes sense, this will be a difficult fight,” Jude agreed.

“Making our own decision, huh?” Leia muttered. “Can we have some more time to think? At least until you are ready to leave?”

“Yes, that sounds reasonable,” Milla agreed.

As they were leaving Alvin noticed Jude stayed behind for a moment, but didn’t think much of it, as he quickly rejoined them.


	8. The Night Before the Final Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about we have some fun with this second-to-last chapter. The game was all serious here, so I figured we should have some fun so everything isn't exactly the same.
> 
> Warning for short mention of underage drinking. Also, the tags had been updated.

Their return was quiet and everyone dispersed as soon as they reached Trigleph.

Alvin decided to do the best thing he could do in current circumstances—steal something out of Balan’s liquor cabinet to ease his anxiety. Preferably out of everyone’s sight.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one with the same idea, because he found Presa already looking critically at the available bottles.

“What? Are you going to ask me to get Balan’s permission for this too?” Presa asked where she noticed him.

“I was more interested in getting a cut,” Alvin admitted. “What do you say?”

“Well, I guess not getting drunk by myself, like some sorry excuse for an adult would be nice,” Presa decided. “Do you have any preference?”

“Hardly, I didn’t have enough money as a student to drink any expensive stuff.”

“That’s good, because my knowledge is pretty limited too,” Presa admitted, taking two bottles at random. “I hope you are ready for a lot of rambling, because I’m planning to get wasted.”

“That’s fine by me,” Alvin said with a nod, as he took two wine glasses out of the cupboard. “I’m told I make great listener.”

Presa seemed satisfied with that, as they left to find some secluded place.

*

Getting drunk on a patio might not have been the smartest idea, but at least nobody interrupted them there.

“I was so stupid,” Presa muttered, when they were starting the second bottle. Alvin was tipsy, but hanging on due to his pretty good alcohol tolerance, but Presa was very much drunk at this point. “Jude probably still thinks that I blame him for betrayal, but really it was as much my fault as it was his.”

“Really?” Alvin asked surprised, as he took a sip from his glass.

“Yes,” Presa nodded and made a small hiccup. “I believed that we could both escape from… everything. I… never stopped to think what it was for him. I selfishly assumed he would escape with me... Because we loved each other and shit,” Presa spat out with obvious resentment towards her younger self.

“I think you should tell him that,” Alvin said. “He seems to feel pretty terrible about betraying you.”

“Yes, but it’s not that easy,” Presa admitted, waving her empty glass dangerously. “I spent such a long time blaming him... I have no idea how to even talk with him about it.”

Alvin nodded with understanding.

“I totally get it. I know I should talk with him, but have no idea how to address it without... a lot of shouting and stuff.”

“Just don’t hit his pretty face too much,” Presa said and immediately laughed at her own joke. “That would be a waste.”

“He’s getting better at healing, so his face should be fine,” Alvin said grumpily, as he reached for the bottle to fill his glass.

“I wished I could slap him so much, after he betrayed me,” Presa admitted, lying on the bench and looking into the sky. “But I never got the chance. And then one day I’m getting drunk with Agria and she says that the only reason she went and saved me from those assholes and offered a place in Chimeriad is because Jude pretty much begged her to do that.”

“That sounds exactly like something that little brat would do!” Alvin agreed, taking a swing from the glass. “Betray you and stomp all over your heart and then make sure you somehow get through it without saying anything about it!”

“Exactly, he’s terrible!” Presa said.

“Absolutely terrible!” Alvin repeated. Then paused. “But his face is cute.”

“He’s so stupidly cute when he pouts,” Presa agreed, hiding her face in her arm. “I would tease him just to get to see it.”

“Yeah, there should be some laws against that!” Alvin agreed. “Or when you compliment him and he smiles at you like you gave him the fucking world.”

Presa just groaned in response.

“And then when he betrays you you can’t even hate him, because he did it for his mom. Like, what the hell?! Couldn’t it have at least been some stupidly selfish reason?”

“...I hated that,” Presa admitted, still hiding her face. “His mom was actually in her right mind when I visited… It was terrible. She kept apologizing to me.” She sniffled. Maybe from cold, maybe from something else. “Apparently, Jude wrote about me in letters. I took the ones that were about me.”

“I would do the same in your place,” Alvin admitted. “I sometimes wonder what Jude wrote about me in the letters.”

“He wrote that you and Milla are cats,” Presa said. “Agria saw him writing one.”

“Maxwell look over us… really? Cats?” Alvin asked in disbelief.

“Well, you two are definitely more like cats than dogs,” Presa decided. “But Jude would be a puppy.”

“Okay, I won’t argue the last one…” Alvin said.

“Pour me some!” Presa ordered, extending the hand with her glass. Alvin fulfilled her request, then attempted to do the same for his own empty wine glass, but the wine ran out, before he filled even half of his glass.

“It’s empty,” he complained loudly.

“Then bring some more!” Presa whined back at him. “And a blanket.”

Avin considered his options, before getting up and using the blanket he had been sitting on to cover Presa.

“I will be back,” he muttered, placing the glass next to bench. Presa had already managed to cocoon herself with the blanket. “...you would be a cat too.”

“Obviously…” she snorted, before she started to snore lightly.

Alvin sighed, but stopped as he noticed two familiar figures on the playground below. Jude and Elize were sitting on the swings and talking. For a second Alvin was overcome with curiosity, before deciding that he should start curbing down his eavesdropping tendencies.

*

“Are you going to go with Alvin and Milla?” Elize asked.

Jude considered his answer. He had already decided what to do, but he wanted to be considerate of her feelings.

“Yeah, I want to help save Elympios,” he said. “Even if I have no real attachment to this place I worked so hard to save it… it would be a shame to give up on it. And… this time I wouldn’t be doing it alone.”

Elize squeezed Teepo who was sitting in her arms.

“Was it hard? Being alone?” she asked.

Jude chuckled humorlessly.

“Very hard. But it didn’t feel that bad, until I realized that there are people who are worried about me. It was only then that it started to feel like a burden.”

“You were afraid of being sincere with them,” Elize realized.

“It’s hard to ask for help when for a long time there had been no one to give it to you. You start to feel like you don’t deserve it,” Jude said.

Elize nodded.

“Yeah. Rowen said I could go to school like a normal girl. But is that even possible for someone like me?” she asked.

“Parents and Jiao, everybody keeps dying. It must mean that Elize did something bad,” Teepo said, revealing the girl’s true feelings. “Maybe it would be better if she stayed alone.”

Jude gave her a sad look.

“You did nothing wrong Elize,” Jude said. “And it won’t be easier if you stay alone.”

“But what if I hurt people I like?” she asked.

“If it’s really your fault, then you should apologize,” Jude said. “It’s difficult, and frightening, but you’ve already apologized to Leia, so I know you can do it.”

“Yeah, but you never apologized to Elize,” Teepo pointed out.

“Oh, you are right.” Jude paused, deciding what words to use. “I’m very sorry Elize. For everything.”

Elize squinted at him.

“You need to be more specific than that,” she demanded. Jude made a small troubled smile.

“I guess you are right.” Jude took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I betrayed the trust you and others placed in me. I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you after I destroyed the booster research lab.”

There was a tense moment of silence between them after that.

“It’s okay if you…” Jude started to add, but Elize interrupted him.

“It’s okay,” Elize finally said. “I already forgave you.”

“Yeah, but it sure was nice to see you sweat,” Teepo added vindictively.

“I guess I deserve that one,” Jude admitted with a sigh.

“Maybe. Or maybe not,” Elize muttered, as she stood up. “I also decided. I’m going to help Alvin and Milla. And then… then I want to try going to school.”

“I really hoped you would give it a try,” Jude admitted.

“You are a bit jealous, aren’t you?” Teepo pointed out.

“A bit, yes. I never got a chance, but it’s okay,” Jude said easily. “I’ve been thinking I want to study spyrites after this is over. Now that I can control mana I could aid the research here,” he admitted. “So I guess I will be also learning a lot.”

“Copycat,” Elize said with a pout, but smiled immediately after that.

“If anyone asks your idea was first,” Jude relented.

“But if you work with a lot of people then you will probably make new friends,” Elize said wistfully.

“Yeah, but if you go to school you will make lots of friends too,” Jude countered. “At least I very much hope so.”

“Would you even remember me?” she asked.

“Of course I would,” Jude said immediately, looking at Elize in surprise. “I never forgot about you!”

“What?” Elize and Teepo shouted in unison. The shock seemed so strong that Elize sat back on the swing.

“You didn’t recognize me, so I acted as if we meet for the first time. But I knew you were the same Elize I met in the lab all those years ago.”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Elize asked with a pout. “I thought you only realized that in Xian Du!”

“Probably for the same reason I didn’t tell Alvin,” Jude admitted. “I thought they must have been very unhappy memories for you if you forgot them. That you were better off not remembering them.”

“I guess, you were right. I didn’t want to remember at first,” Elize admitted. She raised and lowered her legs to move the swing. “But now… I think I’m happier now that I remembered.”

“That’s good to know. I wished I could forget everything at one point. I envied the fact that you two could just conveniently forget those painful memories.”

Elize was quiet for a moment.

“You know, I think that you remember those things, because you are kind, Jude,” Elize admitted, she looked into the sky. “It was probably the same for Jiao. I can’t forgive him for killing my parents, but if he was a truly horrible person he would forget about it. And yet he must have never forgotten.”

“Yeah, I think you might be right, Elize,” Jude agreed. 

“And just so we are clear,” Elize said, as she raised from the swing and turned towards Jude. “I don’t think you are a terrible person.”

“I… thanks Elize,” Jude muttered, surprised by her words.

“I’m still a bit angry, but I forgive you because you are my friend.”

“You are her first friend after me!” Teepo announced.

Jude smiled back at the two of them.

“Yes, I guess I must be really blessed to have such great friends,” he decided.

“I promise I won’t forget you again. So you have to remember me too.”

“It’s a promise,” Jude said.

“Pinky swear it,” Elize insisted, as she extended her pinky finger.

Jude looked at her surprised.

“You remember that?”

“I… I’ve only remembered just now,” she admitted embarrassed.

“Ah, no, it’s okay,” Jude said quickly, extending his hand to link his pinky finger with hers. “I promise to never forget you and always be your friend.”

“I also promise to never forget you and always be your friend. And whoever breaks the promise will have his pinky bitten off by Teepo!” Elize announced.

“Isn’t this a bit extreme?” Jude asked.

“No!” Elize insisted.

“This way you will never stop being Elize’s friend,” Teepo declared.

“I guess…” Jude muttered, looking at his finger worryingly.

“Then I will be going. I feel pretty sleep. Are you going to stay here?” she asked.

“Yeah, I don’t think I will sleep yet.”

“Then goodnight, Jude.”

“Sleep well, Elize.”

As Elize walked off, Jude turned his head toward the nearby tree.

“You can come out now,” Jude said. In response to his call, Milla slowly exited the shade of the tree.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I noticed too late that you two were having a moment.”

Jude sighed in defeat.

“It’s okay. Honestly, it feels like recently everyone ends up listening in on all my conversation.”

“Should I tell Alvin to limit himself in this regard? I admit I got used to him eavesdropping on every conversation he can. Maybe I shouldn’t have indulged his bad habits so much.”

“No, it’s fine. He already apologized,” Jude said quickly. “But since you are here, there is something I want to ask you about.” He reached out to his pocket and pulled out a spirit fossil. “Could you explain this?”

*

Alvin decided to carry Presa back to the room, before continuing his drinking adventures alone. He placed her in bed, before taking another bottle out of the cabinet Presa plundered earlier. He didn’t even look at the label. 

He was planning to return to the bench on the roof immediately, but some part of him couldn’t help but worry about Elize. She usually didn’t stay up so late.

Which was why Alvin in his rather inebriated state left the building. However, instead of Jude and Elize, he found the mercenary discussing something loudly with Milla.

“I think he deserves to know! That’s all,” Jude insisted.

However, Milla shook her hand.

“There’s no point. I know he will be fine. I believe in him. I believe in all of you.”

For a moment Jude looked as if he wanted to continue arguing with her, but gave up.

“Fine, have it your way. I won’t tell anyone, but…” Jude stopped himself. “Alvin?”

“Sup,” Alvin said, moving forward with a slight stagger. “Is my cute Elly alright? I’ve seen her earlier here…” he muttered looking around. Maybe she was hiding in the bushes.

“She already went to sleep,” Jude said.

“Thaaat’s goooood,” Alvin decided. “My daughter needs sleep, so she can grow up healthy.”

“This is fascinating,” Milla decided, looking at Alvin as if he was some sort of rare specimen.

“I think this is embarrassing,” Jude admitted. “I knew I shouldn’t have let the two of them drink.”

“Hey, you should stop that, kitten!” Alvin said accusingly, pointing at Jude.

“Kitten?” Jude repeated with mortification.

“Yeah, Presa told me!” Alvin announced, slugging his hand around Milla’s shoulders. “That me and Milla are cats! So you are a kitten.” 

“I think I’m starting to understand why inebriated people are considered to be both entertaining and bothersome,” Milla commented, patiently ignoring Alvin’s weight leaning on her.

“Could you do us both a favour and just knock him out?” Jude asked.

“Why? He seems pretty harmless,” Milla asked, visibly not understanding the problem.

“Yeah, the night is still young! And I got another bottle,” Alvin announced, waving it. “Presa is out, so maybe one of you wants to drink with me. That spot on the rooftop is pretty cool.”

“I will pass. I don’t want to face Gaius with hangover,” Jude decided. “Goodnight.”

The mercenary left quickly. Milla waited until he disappeared inside the building, before she said.

“You can stop playing now. I know you aren’t quite that drunk.”

Alvin sighed as he retracted his hand.

“Thanks for playing along. Kid looked really tense,” he admitted.

“Hopefully, your embarrassing display will help him,” Milla agreed. “Actually, I don’t think I ever tried alcohol now that you mentioned it.”

“No time to remedy this like now,” Alvin decided happily.

They both moved to the rooftop. Alvin plopped on the bench and pulled two glasses from under it.

“Uhhh… sorry, forgot they were a bit dirty,” he muttered.

“No problem. Give them to me.”

Alvin obediently handed the wine glasses to Milla. There was a flash of the silhouettes of the Great Summon Spirits, but they disappeared as suddenly as they appeared.

The glasses Milla was holding were so clean they seemed to shine. 

“Wow, nothing beats Great Spirits’ Cleaning Services,” Alvin said, taking one glass and offering to pour wine for Milla. She nodded, so he obliged her, then poured wine for himself.

“Interesting taste,” Milla nodded as she took a sip. “How long until the effects of alcohol consumption kick in?”

“Hmmm, depends on how high your tolerance is… actually, won’t the Great Spirits negate the effects?” Alvin asked, suddenly remembering that now that they were back with Milla they would once more interfere with her biological processes.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry, I asked them to let me experiment. It seems the Four are also curious to see how I will react to the alcohol.”

Alvin raised his glass.

“Well, then let’s start by toasting the success of this experiment,” he decided.

“Yes, to the successful inebriation!” Milla announced.

They both drank. The night was looking pretty good.

*

“Thanks for coming with me, Rowen,” Leia said, as she strolled through mostly empty streets.

“I’m sure you would be capable of fending off any danger, but I’m glad to be your moral support.”

“Yeah, I really appreciate that,” Leia said, stopping by a fence and leaning on it. “Walking always helps me think.”

“Have you come to any conclusions?” Rowen asked.

Leia chuckled.

“Actually, I haven’t been thinking much about the upcoming fight,” Leia admitted. “I’m more confused as to what to do after it is over.”

“So you are planning to follow Alvin and Milla?” Rowen asked.

“Yeah, I can’t just leave Alvin to deal with it… which is probably the problem,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rowen asked patiently.

“Yeah, that would be helpful,” Leia said after a short moment of hesitation. “I actually never talked with anyone about this.”

“There are things that are hard to discuss with people who are close to us,” Rowen agreed, coming closer to Leia and leaning on the fence next to hear. “I’m all ears.”

“Alfred was often asked to take care of me since he was young. Because of that he was always a bit like a big brother to me. However, as much as he tried he was never really dependable. His memory issues and the fact that he didn’t get along with other kids… he probably didn’t even notice but he had been relying on me a lot. I would remember things for him, spend time with him rather than with other kids, console him when he felt sad after another nightmare.”

“That sounds like a wonderful sibling relationship,” Rowen said.

“Yeah, maybe,” Leia said, a bit surprised by the comment. “But then he decided to go to Fennmont, so he could become a doctor. I was twelve at the time and it felt a bit like my whole life was falling apart… I convinced myself that he wouldn’t be able to survive without me. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it out of my own selfishness. I... ended up sabotaging him, so he wouldn’t leave Leronde. I hid his acceptance letter, so he thought he didn’t get in.”

“Did you apologize to him?” Rowen asked calmly.

“No, I never told anyone,” Leia admitted, her face downcast. “He still believes his letter got lost during the delivery. But the point is… what I did influenced him badly. He always felt a bit inferior due to his inability to use mana and memory problems, but thinking that he didn’t manage to get into Talim, damaged his self-esteem even worse. I slowly realized it during the next few years… that it was my fault.”

“So you’ve followed him, because you wanted to somehow make up for what you did in the past,” Rowen said. “How unexpected. No, perhaps unexpected isn’t a good word here...”

“I’m just good at lying,” Leia admitted. “Maybe because I knew Alfred for so long. He lied about everything because he hoped he would be more liked if he didn’t show people how vulnerable he was.”

“And now you are doing the same,” Rowen said.

“Yeah, I need to be strong for him,” she said, looking at the snow that had started to fall. “My weakness caused him so much trouble in the past… so I vowed to become stronger for his sake.”

“But by doing that you tied yourself to him,” Rowen realized. “Is that why you decided to talk with me about it?”

“Yeah, it felt like you are the person who understands the best what it’s like,” Leia agreed. “All this time I wanted Alfred to forgive me, but I couldn’t even admit my guilt. I guess it doesn’t get more pathetic than that, huh?”

“It’s never too late to take the first step towards forgiveness,” Rowen said kindly. “You are no more pathetic than the foolish old man who has only recently stopped running away from his past.”

“Thanks, Rowen. I already feel better,” Leia said, desperately trying not to start sobbing. “I could never tell this to anyone. Thanks for letting me confide in you.”

“It’s quite alright. One more burden is nothing for this old man. I hope one day you will be able to apologize properly,” he said.

“Me too,” Leia said with a nod, “but for now I will just stay by his side until he stops Gaius. And hopefully, after this is all over I will finally manage to find a road of my own.”

“Yes, that does sound like a good plan. I wish you luck on it.” Rowen said with a fond smile. “I too plan to see this journey through and after it’s over… I guess, I still have things I need to do.”

“You… you are really dependable Rowen,” Leia said. “Thank you for listening to me. I know you can do it.”

“Let’s do our best, then,” Rowen offered.

“Yeah, let’s do our best! Like always!” Leia said, her voice once more cheerful.

*

“I think I’m starting to… hic, see the appeal of… alcotolic… alco… hohoholic… consumption,” Milla slurred.

“I thought you would have more of a resistance, but then again this is your first time drinking,” Alvin said, very buzzed himself. He wasn’t slurring nearly as much as Milla, but he was pretty sure they were both equally drunk at this point. “You are doing great…”

“I always do great… as Maxwell I need to do my best… hic,” Milla said strongly.

“I think you are incredible…” Alvin agreed with a nod.

“Your flattery is… most pleasant…”

“That’s nice to know…”

“...I deserve headpat… hic…”

“Headpat?” Alvin asked, confused.

“You always… pat Elize’s head… when she does good job…” Milla muttered. “I deserve one… too…”

Alvin sat quiet, as his inebriated mind tried to process this request.

“...you do,” he finally agreed, when he found no reason to deny it. He reached his hand and patted Milla who was sitting next to him. “Good girl.”

“This is… strange... but nice experience…” Milla decided.

“It’s something you usually do with children, so doing it for teenagers and adults can come off… as… what was the word… condescending!” Alvin explained.

“I see… it’s nice to know there is a reason why I… hic... had been deprived of headpats.”

“You deserve all of them,” Alvin assured her.

“Four… hic… are in agreement,” Milla announced proudly.

“Yeah, you are doing amazing job... as Maxwell… when this is over… we probably won’t see each other much, will we?”

Milla was silent for a moment.

“Probubbly… not…”

“That’s… that’s okay…” Alvin muttered, but then shook his head. “I mean… it’s _not_ okay, but… I will manage.”

“I know you will, Alvin,” Milla assured him, but then suddenly whipped her head towards the rooftop entrance. “Gaius.”

Alvin turned his head, confused, to see none other than the king of Auj Oule... and probably Rashugal at this point.

“Relax. I’ve just come here to tell you something,” Gaius said. “We are ready to commence our…”

“Oy, you won’t even say hello?!” Alvin asked, offended.

“Yeah, we were having a deep… hic… emotional moment…” Milla complained in a whiny voice.

Gaius seemed taken aback by their reactions.

“Is that so? I seem to have come at a wrong time,” he muttered.

“It’s the middle of the night! Course it is a bad time!” Milla said, managing to get herself together just so she could chew up Gaius. “What would you have done if we were sleeping? Wake us up?”

“Ah, no, I had Muzet check if you were awake,” Gaius assured them, visibly uncomfortable with the accusations. “I did not wish to disturb your…”

“Well, too late for that,” Alvin said vindicatively.

“...I promise to leave quickly if you just let me explain why I came here,” Gaius said.

Milla crossed her arms.

“No.”

“No?”

“No, if you want us to listen… you need to earn that right,” Milla announced, barely stopping herself from hiccuping at the end, “by outdrinking me.”

Gaius was silent for a second.

“It would be no contest. You are already drunk,” he pointed out.

“Then I won’t listen,” Milla decided stubbornly.

Gaius looked like he considered leaving, but felt too prideful to admit that two drunks were enough to stop him from achieving what he wanted.

“If I drink with you, will you agree to listen to me?” he asked.

Milla looked hesitant, but Alvin decided it was a great idea.

“We totally will!” he said, as he pulled out one of the bottles that they brought here when Milla insisted she wanted to try a variety of drinks. “Come on, Milla! We should be open to others!”

“I guess you are right,” she muttered.

There was a moment of scrambling, when they realized they needed another glass. Milla quickly went to the kitchen to grab it.

Meanwhile, Alvin decided to indulge in small talk. He tapped the empty space on the bench, to encourage Gaius. The man seemed hesitant, but sat down after a moment.

“How is it going?”

“As I wanted to say, we have finished preparation and…”

“Ah, no... wait with the big stuff for Milla,” Alvin interrupted him. His alcohol-addled mind didn’t seem to register the fact that Gaius was a king. “I wanted to know how you are… these past days must have been stressful on you too.”

The look on Gaius’ face was inscrutable.

“You might be right… in the past I could at least rely on the Chimeriad, but Wingul is all that I have left,” Gaius admitted. “Agria died, Presa left, and Ivar is MIA.”

“That sounds tough,” Alvin agreed. “Ivar was alive last we saw him, but he seemed pretty bummed by the fact that I beat him.”

“I was afraid he would be trouble, but I did need to find a replacement for Jiao on a rather short notice,” Gaius admitted.

“Yeah, with the whole Elympios mess… I understand.” Alvin nodded.

At this point, Milla returned with a clean wine glass and two bottles. Probably so she wouldn’t have to go back to the apartment again. They poured Gaius wine. Milla decided to sit down on the ground, the snow immediately melting and evaporating around her due to the Efreets power.

Gaius took a large sip.

“Is Wingul still snoring?” Alvin asked to keep the conversation going.

“Less. The peppermint is helping,” Gaius admitted. “Still, I’m afraid he is overworking himself now that he is the only member of the Chimeriad left.”

“He looked like the type who would overwork himself to death,” Alvin agreed.

“Yeah, he was dedicated enough to have booster in his brain,” Milla added, sipping on her own wine.

“He may come off strongly, but he is very capable,” Gaius said in his defense. “He’s been giving his all for my sake. Without him I wouldn’t be able to rule Auj Oule as effectively as I was.”

“You two workaholics deserve each other,” Alvin decided.

Gaius drank the rest of his wine and Milla quickly refilled his glass.

“Finding new people after this will be a pain…” Gaius muttered unhappily. “Don’t you think Jude would be…?”

“No!” Alvin and Milla said simultaneously before Gaius could even finish.

“I think he has enough of the whole spy business,” Alvin explained.

“And given how he spent almost an hour talking with Balan about spyrites... I won’t be surprised if he applies to work on them,” Milla added.

Gaius hung his head.

“Shame, he would be a perfect substitute for Presa,” Gaius said, as he took another sip. He gazed into his wine for a moment before asking. “Are they getting together again?”

Alvin choked on the wine he was swallowing, barely managing to place the glass on the ground, before he started coughing out his lungs. Milla looked at him levelly, without even blinking.

“You knew about their… hic... history?” Milla asked, curious.

“Presa would talk about it whenever she got drunk,” Gaius admitted. “Sometimes in uncomfortable detail.”

Alvin managed to pick his lungs from the floor just in time to add.

“Yeah, I think I saw that.”

“I didn’t take you… for one to gossip,” Milla said to Gaius, her hand swaying.

“I think it is natural to inquire about one’s acquaintances,” Gaius pointed.

“What do you say Alvin,” Milla called out. “Are they getting together?”

“Why are you asking me?” Alvin protested, raising from the bench in indignation. 

“Is there something I don’t know?” Gaius asked looking between them.

“Alvin has a cushion… a crush on Jude,” Milla said, proving that Jude wasn’t in fact the biggest traitor in their party.

“Milla!” Alvin protested.

“What? It’s obvious!” Milla whined, swinging her glass in protest.

“What? Since when?” Alvin asked, suddenly mortified.

“Uhhh… when? I think… Nia Khera? You looked so sad when Jude was supposedly leaving us…”

“ _Even I_ didn’t know that back then!” Alvin protested. “I only noticed after we left Leronde!”

“Really?” Milla asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Really! I thought I just got overly attached to the two of you due to trauma of almost being killed by that red chick!”

“Agria,” Gaius corrected automatically.

“How do you know? You weren’t even there?!” Alvin argued.

“I’m sorry, but your choice of words left me under the impression it was her. Was I wrong?” Gaius asked.

Alvin ground his teeth.

“Yeah, okay. It _was_ her. That was when I met Milla.”

“You required so much saving in the beginning,” Milla muttered, opening another bottle. “It was pretty hilarious... when Jude carried you to the ship.”

“Why would he need to carry Alvin?” Gaius asked, curious.

“We were escaping from guards… and then Alvin just froze!” Milla explained, making a small pause for when she finally pulled the cork. The loud popping sound accentuated her words. “I ran for the ship without looking back... since I’ve known Alvin for about an hour at that point,” she explained. “And when it seemed like he would be captured… you see then... Jude suddenly appeared! Took out the guards! And then hauled Alvin over his shoulder and jumped onto the ship… all while carrying him,” she finished with a giggle.

“You never told me it looked funny!” Alvin said accusingly.

“I was… con… condesce… considerate!” Milla muttered, finally finding the word. 

“It must have been an amusing sight,” Gaius agreed.

“Not you too!” Alvin protested.

Milla descended into a giggling fit, almost dropping her glass.

“So after being dashingly saved you feel for Jude?” Gaius asked for confirmation.

“That’s not how it went!” Alvin denied with everything he could, because he would rather die than admit that being manhandled back then wasn’t really all that bad experience in retrospect.

“Oh, then how did it happen?” Milla asked, visibly interested.

“I’m curious as well,” Gaius admitted.

“I… well… I was just impressed at first, okay? Meeting someone so strong and capable. I was a bit jealous of him…” Alvin admitted, despite his better judgement.

“Indeed, those are his strong points,” Gaius added, as he extended the hand with his glass so that Milla could refill it.

“See! There’s nothing weird in falling for him!” he said turning to Milla, as if Gaius had just supported his claims rather than simply provided a bening commentary

“I’m not saying it’s _weeeeeird >...” she slurred. “It’s… amusing! Human’s in love are… hic… very interesting.”_

_“Don’t talk about it like I was some sort of test subject!” Alvin protested. He felt like crying._

_“Move on,” Gaius prompted, obviously finding Alvin’s tale interesting._

_“So then…” Alvin paused, as the words failed him. “Then I _pine_.”_

_“What have pines… do with love?” Milla asked, butchering her grammar._

_“He meant it as longing,” Gaius explained._

_“I felt like I had no chance, but then I realized he felt the same. By which I mean he had even less self-worth than me…”_

_“I don’t think I’m drunk enough for this conversation,” Gaius admitted, prompting Milla to fill his glass again. The Lord of Spirits was happy to oblige, even though she was spilling more than she was pouring._

_“You will get alcohol poisoning with that pace,” Alvin pointed out. He drank way more than Gaius at this point, but he had a long experience in how to pace himself from the parties he had attended as a student._

_“It’s better than being sober for this conversation,” Gaius decided, taking another sip from his glass._

_Alvin wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not._

_*_

_“I can’t believe the two of you.”_

_Alvin should have expected chiding from Jude. He probably wouldn’t be in such a terrible state if they didn’t go for the whole drinking party with Gaius thing. Which was surprisingly nice all things considering. Although he ended up learning more about Wingul’s weird habits than he ever wished to._

_...it was probably Gaius’ idea of a tradeoff considering that he did stay to listen to the trainwreck that was the story of Alvin’s crush on Jude._

_In the end a very unamused Wingul was sent by Muzet to recover Gaius. There was a lot of glaring involved. At this point Gaius somehow remembered his original goal, handing Alvin a dagger that was supposed to let them return to Rieze Maxia. He tried to throw a speech he had previously prepared, but he kept messing up to the point where Wingul bodily dragged him through the warp, unable to watch the farce any longer._

_“Shut up… you’re too loud…” Milla wailed from where she laid on the table. The Lord of Spirits first ever hangover was apparently killing her._

_“Can’t you make the Four heal you?” Leia asked, as she hovered over Milla like a curious kitten._

_“...a part of experience they say…” Milla muttered, still not moving._

_Alvin had a strong feeling that the Four were having a lot of fun watching Milla being wasted._

_“Don’t worry, I’m brewing some herbs to help us. They should be ready soon,” Alvin assured. He also looked pretty terrible, but he was more used to powering through his hangovers._

_“...good…”_

_“I guess we won’t be setting off to face Gaius today,” Jude pointed out, looking at Milla’s suffering._

_Alvin nodded._

_“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be up for the fight either,” he added, leaving everyone but Milla confused._

_*_

_They set out the next day. Ready, prepared and much more sober._

_“You are forbidden from drinking before big fights from now on,” Jude said sternly, giving a side eye to the three culprits._

_“Don’t be such a killjoy, Jude,” Presa said easily. “We promise to invite you next time.”_

_Jude made a sound as if he was choking._

_“That’s not the issue, Presa,” Jude protested weakly._

_“Oh, is your alcohol tolerance still as terrible as it used to be?” she asked, her voice innocent, but her smile teasing._

_Jude hid his face in his hands._

_“Don’t remind me…” he muttered weakly._

_“Wait, you’ve seen Jude drunk?” Alvin asked, full of curiosity._

_“Yes… it was quite a sight… and experience,” she added with a wink._

_Jude groaned into his hands._

_“Oh, what kind of drunk he is?” Milla asked, sounding as curious as Alvin._

_“Don’t tell them,” Jude pleaded, but it was for naught._

_“ _Very clingy_ ,” Presa said with a satisfied smile. “He forgets that he should be embarrassed, so he hugs you and showers you in compliments until he passes out. He’s the cutest drunk I ever saw.”_

_Jude broke into the sprint running ahead of the party._

_“Hey, wait up!” Leia shouted, running after him._

_The rest of the party watched the chase in silence._

_“Humans’ reactions to alcohol are so varied,” Milla mused loudly with fascination._

_Alvin nodded, deciding that clingy Jude sounded like something he would like to see at least once in his life._


	9. For The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who followed me on this journey! I hope you enjoyed the story and had a good time!

“Is everyone ready?” Alvin asked, holding the knife Gaius gave them.

“Of course we are!” Teepo said annoyed.

“Bring it on,” Leia cheered.

“I think everyone is prepared,” Milla confirmed.

“Okay, then let’s see if this works,” Alvin said as he slashed the rift. The knife shattered in his hand, as the rift expanded suddenly. It started to generate a gravitational pull that everyone could feel.

“Is this safe?” Presa muttered.

“One way to find out,” Milla announced, as she took a step forward and then jumped into the rift. She disappeared as soon as she hit it.

Alvin looked back at everyone.

“I guess we should be moving too,” he said. Everyone nodded. 

Alvin jumped next, followed by Leia and Rowen. Jude who piggybacked Elize jumped shortly after them with Presa closing the line.

They all disappeared in the portal ready to fight for what they believed in.

*

Wingul was the one waiting for them. 

It was unsurprising, really, since Alvin couldn’t imagine anyone else being Gaius’ last line of defence.

“So you made it this far,” he said. His voice sounded calm, but Alvin could feel it was just a lie masking his boiling emotions. Wingul’s gaze moved to Presa and his face scrunched in distaste. “So it’s true you have betrayed His Highness, Presa.”

“Hardly,” she said levelly. “I openly announced my resignation and explained that I no longer agreed with his views. Unless you consider the fact that I don’t follow him blindly a betrayal, then no, I did not.”

“Hmph, how stupid. Don’t think I will go easy on you,” he announced, pulling out his sword.

“I haven’t seen you go easy on _anyone_ , especially yourself, so I can’t say I expected you to suddenly start now,” Presa said, raising her book. 

“You can be truly insufferable sometimes, you know,” he muttered, showing a bit of annoyance, before turning to the rest of the party. “This is your last chance. Turn back now.”

“You know we cannot oblige,” Rowen said, as he also took a battle stance.

“Why are you so adamant about meeting His Highness?” Wingul asked, visibly not understanding their problem.

“We must stop him and dispel the schism. It’s the only way for the people of Rieze Maxia and Elympios to come together,” Rowen explained, but it was obvious that his explanation was lost on Wingul even before he finished it.

“So you side with the Elympions now. Your fickle self-righteousness sickens me.”

“They are people too!” Elize shouted. “Stop acting as if it is okay to kill them!”

Wingul seemed surprised by that outburst, but he quickly hardened his expression.

“This is just how the world is,” he said coldly.

“No this is how Gaius wants the world to be and we are here to stop him,” Rowen announced. Wingul shook his head.

“I don’t understand what His Highness sees in you! You will die here before you become any further burden to him!” Wingul said, activating his booster.

*

The fight wasn’t easy, as Wingul’s sheer stubbornness made him push himself far beyond his limits. Still, even his determination wasn’t enough to match seven people who were pretty determined themselves. Soon, Wingul feel to his knees overwhelmed by their attacks.

“Ilbert.. His Highness is right!” Wingul insisted even in the face of defeat, his speech once more understandable.

“You cannot force the world along a path it has not chosen for itself,” Rowen said calmly. “I have finally come to accept that fact.”

Wingul shut his eyes in annoyance.

“Only now! ...after all that has transpired… how pathetic…” Wingul muttered shaking his head in disapproval.

“It’s never too late to change your mind about something,” Alvin said, stepping forward. “People are able to change.”

Wingul glared at him as he slowly stood up.

“I’m not finished with you,” he growled. “I must help His Highness achieve his vision!”

“Why would you push yourself so much?” Elize asked.

“Silence!” he ordered, pushing himself to stand up.

“Wingul, Gaius hasn’t killed us for exactly the same reason that he keeps you by his side,” Rowen explained. “If you were to die here…”

“Not another word!” he shouted, but then added quieter in such a tired tone that it was hard to watch. “Say no more, Ilbert.”

“Wingul!” Presa shouted as he transformed once more, but immediately doubled down in pain. “It’s dangerous! Didn’t you say you can’t use that power in succession?!”

As he started to writhe in agony, Rowen and Presa ran toward him, but he swung his sword, forcing them to stay away from him.

“Is this a reaction to the booster?” Rowen asked, watching Wingul’s suffering with a sad expression.

“I think so,” Presa confirmed.

Wingul said something in the language neither of them could understand, before using the last of his strength to push the sword into the ground and channel his overflowing energy into it. The cracks immediately formed in the ground and the waves of energy made them spread even further, damaging the platform. The foothold underneath everyone’s feet shattered, while they all desperately tried to hold on as the falling rubble scattered in the void of temporal crossroads.

*

Wingul muttered to himself watching the intruders fall down. And as his last words dispersed in the air, he felt backwards, his body hitting what remained of the platform with a thud.

“I know I shouldn’t talk badly about the dead, but you are such an idiot Wingul,” Presa said, as she slowly climbed onto the platform. She had managed to catch the edge of it as she fell.

She sighed as she looked at his body.

“Can’t argue with that assessment,” Jude agreed. Presa turned around, surprised to see that he had managed to stay on one of the nearby floating boulders. He made a leap and joined Presa.

They stood in silence, as they looked at the dead body lying on the floor.

“I hate that he was so much of an idiot that it killed him,” Presa said, looking gloomily at Wingul’s unmoving body.

“Nothing we could do about it,” Jude said, as if he was trying to convince himself. “He never really liked me… but I never wanted him dead.”

“Me neither,” Presa admitted.

Jude nodded and slowly leaned down to grab the body and put it on his back.

“You are planning to give him back to Gaius?” Presa asked.

“Yeah,” Jude nodded, then gave her annoyed look when she shook her head. “Don’t make that face I know you would carry him yourself if I wasn’t around. He doesn’t deserve to be left here.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Presa agreed. “Let’s go. Knowing your friends they have probably already started moving. It would be bad if they left us behind.”

Jude nodded and the two of them jumped to the next platform.

*

Alvin continued his trek through the levitating platforms.

He had no idea if he was going in the right direction, but it didn’t seem that there were that many crossroads. Sooner or later he had to reach the place where Gaius was.

He should concentrate on getting there first, considering that they pretty much made it into a race.

Unfortunately, his musings ended up distracting him enough not to notice a beast attacking him from behind. When he turned around the monster was already so close Alvin could only brace himself— 

“Fireball!”

A magical attack hit the monster, stopping it. Alvin used this chance to finish the beast off with a powerful swing of his greatsword. When he made sure it had been defeated, he raised his head looking at his saviour.

“Are you alright, Alvin?” Milla asked, jumping down from the platform above him.

“Better now that you are here,” he said with a smile. He looked at the monster, trying to place the sudden nostalgic feeling that seemed to overcome him. “It feels almost like the first time we meet.”

“Well, running into you like that certainly makes me feel like fate is pulling us together,” she admitted, smiling slightly.

“You certainly like to put some big concepts into it,” Alvin said with a sigh. He came closer to Milla and pulled her into a hug. She seemed surprised by that.

“What are you doing?” she asked, but she didn’t seem displeased. “We should be…”

“I want to thank you,” Alvin said quickly. “We are about to go have a pretty serious fight… so just… thanks for everything you’ve done. For saving me back in Fennmont and letting me go with you… and...”

“What are you talking about?” Milla said, releasing herself from the embrace and looking at Alvin as if he was stupid. “ _I’m_ the one who should be thanking _you_!”

Alvin chuckled and pulled Milla into a hug once more.

“Please, don’t sacrifice yourself this time,” he said. “I won’t be happy in a world that was built by discarding you.”

Milla was silent for a moment.

“Idiot,” she muttered, reciprocating the hug. “Are you forgetting who I am? I’m Maxwell! This world needs me. I’m not going to abandon it again.”

“Yeah, please don’t do that,” Alvin said, feeling the tears prickle his eyes. 

This time Milla slowly but gently pushed Alvin away.

“Thank you for sharing your feelings with me, but we have more pressing matters to attend to.”

“I know, we’ve kept Gaius waiting for way to long,” Alvin admitted, rubbing his eyes.

“Let’s move on!” they said at the same time, as they continued down the path.

*

They weren’t first.

As he and Milla landed on the platform where Gaius and Muzet had been waiting, he realized that Jude and Presa were already there. Wingul’s dead body was lying on the ground next to them.

“I take full responsibility for what had happened,” Gaius said to Jude. It seemed they had been discussing something.

“I don’t think it makes anyone here feel better,” Jude pointed out. “Especially you.”

Gaius shook his head, directing his gaze to Alvin and Milla.

“So you’ve come,” he said.

“Obviously,” Alvin said, then glanced at Jude and Presa who seemed pretty unhappy that their conversation had been cut short. “Though if you want to finish talking I don’t mind waiting a few minutes.”

“Hardly,” Gaius said, just as Presa was about to voice her opinion. “I don’t think we will be able to come to agreement on this matter.”

“Coming to agreement usually requires both parties to listen to each other,” Presa said, not hiding her sarcasm. “I’d rather you didn’t forget that he was my friend as much as he had been yours.”

Gaius seemed to freeze at that statement, but his face betrayed nothing.

“Muzet,” he said calmly. “Transport his body back to the castle. I would like to take care of his burial as soon as possible, but this,” he continued, as he pulled out his sword with impressive speed, “requires my immediate attention.”

“Done,” Muzet said cheerfully, as she snapped her fingers. Wingul’s body disappeared in the black portal. 

Alvin sighed.

“You know, we really don’t have to go through this, right?” Alvin said, feeling emotions boil inside him. “So many people died because of this… can’t we just…?”

“No,” Gaius said. His voice was final. “You won’t back down now, will you?”

Alvin clenched his fist.

“No, I won’t run anymore. _We_ won’t run anymore,” he said strongly looking straight at Gaius.

“Muzet, return Maxwell to us,” Milla demanded, looking harshly at her sister.

“The world no longer needs him,” Muzet assured them.

“No one is unneeded, Muzet,” Milla replied simply. “If he is unneeded, then so are you and I.”

That seemed to hit the sore spot, as Muzet’s composure disappeared in an instant.

“Shut up!” she shouted, leaning forward with a scowl. “I don’t need a stupid lecture from you! And I certainly don’t need him!” she assured them, but her voice cracked at the end, as if she could barely believe that lie herself.

“Lying to yourself will change nothing, Muzet,” Alvin said. “Nothing will change unless you confront—”

“That’s enough,” Gaius said, interrupting him. “I’m done listening to you.”

“If you are so eager to do this the hard way, I guess we have no choice,” Alvin said, readying his weapons.

“We will solve this Alvin-style!” Milla said, pulling her sword.

“Hey, I was the one who actually tried to solve this through talking this time!”

However, before any of them could begin the fight, someone appeared in the middle.

It was Maxwell.

Apparently, Maxwell wasn’t out of the tricks yet, but Alvin didn’t find his idea to just implode the space they were in too appealing.

“You can’t just destroy this space! Or friends are still here!” he protested. Leia, Elize and Rowen were still trying to find their way here. If Maxwell destroyed the temporal crossroads…

“What happens to the schism?” Milla asked.

“When this place collapses, the schism will also vanish.”

Before Alvin could voice further protests someone else decided to throw a tantrum.

“Why? Damn you, Maxwell! Why do you always do this?!” Muzet shouted, like a scorned child.

“Muzet, I regret putting you through this ordeal,” Maxwell said, sounding genuinely sad for once.

“Shut up! I won’t let you take everything from me again!” she bellowed. She shot a beam of purple lighting at him, but Maxwell teleported himself easily dodging the attack.

“For once I agree with the crazy lady in blue,” Alvin shouted. “Stop this!”

“No, you must return to the outside w—”

His words were cut short, as Gaius bisected the Lord of Spirits with one swift cut of his sword. Maxwell could only curse the human king, as he dispersed into shining orbs of light.

“Muzet, stop him!” he ordered.

“On it!”

“No, you won’t!” Jude shouted as he punched her. She staggered, surprised.

“Why you little,” she muttered, firing her energy bolts at him.

“I don’t think you have time to worry about him,” Presa muttered darkly, as she finished her chant. “Diffusional Drive!”

A torrent of water appeared from above, drenching Muzet.

“You bitch!” she swore.

“I’m the one who’s got a bone to pick with you,” Presa hissed, readying another spell. “Don’t think I will forgive you for what you did to Jude.”

Alvin wanted to help Jude and Presa, but someone else stood in his way.

“I’m the one you two shall face,” he announced, coming at them with a wide slash. Both he and Milla dodged, feeling the reassuring pull of their link as they synchronized with each other.

“You don’t stand a chance,” Milla announced, casting a spell, while Alvin rushed with his broadsword in hand. 

He clashed with Gaius keeping him in place for the precious moment Milla needed to finish casting. Alvin backstepped, leaving Gaius to receive the brunt of Milla’s attack.

Still it wasn’t enough to phase him.

“You are the ones who don’t stand a chance,” Gaius announced before executing another attack.

The fight wasn’t easy, but slowly, but surely they managed to tire Gaius out. However, as they seemed to be about to defeat him, Muzet’s portal appeared behind him. Gaius escaped into it before Alvin and Milla could stop him.

Alvin looked around and realized with some confusion that the two of them were alone.

“Where’s Jude and Presa?” he asked in confusion.

“Muzet probably sent them somewhere with her powers,” Milla speculated. “Let’s get moving! Hopefully we will find either them or Gaius.”

*

They didn’t have to go far to find Gaius and Muzet. After jumping through a few more platforms they reached the space where they had confronted Maxwell the last time they visited the Temporal Crossroads.

There they found the Lord of Spirits confronting Muzet and Gaius. Maxwell seemed to be keeping the wayward spirit and human king in check, but that changed when he noticed Alvin and Milla.

“You fools! Why have you come?” he asked.

“Because your plan sucks!” Alvin replied honestly.

Unfortunately, that short distraction was enough for Gaius and Muzet to regain the momentum.

“Muzet, give me strength!” Gaius ordered. To Alvin’s surprise in response to that Muzet created a portal in her chest. Gaius reached into it to pull a sword that shone with bright blue light. With one slash he once more scattered Maxwell.

The small lights disappeared into thin air.

It seemed that this time the damage was going to stick.

“Gaius! Muzet!” Alvin shouted. As the two of them turned around, Alvin realized that Muzet had a black eye. “It seems like Jude got you good.”

“Oh believe me. I made sure he would regret it,” Muzet said vindictively, but her voice broke into a whine at the end. It seemed that the pressure was getting to her. “I don’t understand. Why do you keep trying to stop us?”

“Because you are bullies!” Alvin claimed stepping forward.

“That’s right!” Milla confirmed.

“I warn you. Keep this up and you will lose the person who is most dear to you,” Gaius threatened.

“In case you didn’t know your floaty girlfriend caused Milla to sacrifice herself and then traumatized Jude so much he almost killed my childhood friend, so I have all the reasons to believe that stopping her here will actually protect _all the people I care about_!” Alvin pointed out.

Gaius paused at that, obviously not expecting that answer. He slowly turned to Muzet.

“I knew about Milla, but is it true what he’s saying about Jude?” Gaius asked calmly.

Muzet looked troubled.

“Well… I _might_ have been a bit hard on him, but I was ordered to kill all the members of Exodus, so I think I was plenty merciful by keeping him alive,” she said, obviously trying to excuse herself.

“I will gladly show you right now just how merciful ruining someone’s life is. Look forward to it!”

“You are blinded by spite,” Gaius accused him, but Milla shook her head.

“Hardly. Alvin might be hot-headed, but he didn’t come here on a whim. And neither did I,” Milla announced. “I came here to protect the world I love. I won’t let myself lose anyone by looking away anymore.”

“And neither will I,” Alvin swore. They crossed their blades, as if to confirm their aligned intentions.

“We will fight!” they shouted at the same time.

Gaius looked at them with respect.

“Your resolve is commendable. And I have no intention to stray from my path in any way, either,” he announced seriously, but then added after a pause. “Though I will certainly start to monitor Muzet’s actions more closely.”

Muzet made a sound of a startled ferret, but Gaius didn’t pay it any mind, as he concentrated his power into the blade. With a blinding flash of light he had transformed.

“Wow, that’s actually impressive,” Alvin muttered, looking at Gaius’ new form. 

“I know his bare chest must be distracting, but don’t stare at him too much. We need to focus,” Milla warned him.

“Hey, I’m not Jude!” Alvin replied, offended.

Gaius charged at them and Alvin barely managed to block the attack.

“There’s no need to hold back any longer, Muzet!” he shouted, as he definitely put all his strength into the slash. Alvin felt his feet slide on the ground, as Gaius’ attack pushed him back.

“Yes, I shall become a blade that will lead you to the victory!” Muzet shouted, creating a huge rift where Alvin was standing. He gritted his teeth to force himself to remain upright as the gravity started to pull on him with tremendous force.

“You are cute if you think this will be enough to defeat us,” he said, despite the pressure of her attack.

“That’s right, we are not alone!” Milla said, as she summoned Efreet to sweep both Muzet and Gaius with a fire attack.

Muzet barely managed to block the attack with her powers, while Gaius was forced to distance himself to avoid being burned.

“Now that I have Gaius you won’t stand a chance!” Muzet shouted, despite the inferno surrounding her.

“Let’s see how long you last,” Gaius said threateningly, rushing at Milla. Alvin intercepted him to give Milla time to cast another spell.

“I have a bad habit of outlasting everyone, you know. And it doesn’t only apply to drinking” Alvin hissed at him.

“We will see about that,” Gaius muttered darkly, as he kept trying to break through Alvin’s defence with well-aimed strikes.

In his periphery he saw Muzet teleport away from Milla’s spell.

And then she appeared right behind Alvin.

The medic could only turn his head slightly in a mute horror, as Muzet raised her hand ready to shoot a huge ball of dark energy into his back.

“Phoenix Plunge!”

At least that’s what she had been planning to do, before Jude descended from above his foot connecting with Muzet’s head and then making her hit the ground with a satisfying crunch.

“That felt good,” Jude muttered, as he landed next to Muzet, but then his gaze landed on the other enemy and he froze. “Wait, why is Gaius shirtless?”

“His abs give him power,” Alvin deadpanned, finally managing to break from his lock with Gaius to shoot at him.

“I mean, that’s certainly the case, but—” Jude started, but wasn’t given the opportunity to finish his words, because Muzet launched herself from the floor to strike at him in vengeance. Fortunately for him, Milla had a fireball prepared, which hit the Muzet, pushing her away.

“Can you two stop being distracted by Gaius’ physique?” she complained, looking at them with disapproval.

“No,” they replied in unison.

“We are only human, Milla,” Alvin replied, keeping Gaius away from himself with shots from his gun.

“You are _weak_ ,” she complained, but there wasn’t much bite in her voice.

“Tell that to your sister,” Jude replied, as he barely avoided her attacks. Alvin linked with him to time his next attack and slash at Muzet just as she attempted to launch another volley of attacks. The attack hit, sending her backwards.

“Yeah, at least we are still on your side,” Alvin pointed out, as he chased her with the shots from his gun.

Milla didn’t have time to reply to them, busy exchanging blows with Gaius. Unfortunately, one of his attacks disarmed her. Milla clicked her tongue as she jumped to retrieve her blade. She must have known she risked getting attacked, but she refused to give up. As she grabbed her blade and landed on the floor she saw Gaius’ blade approaching her.

She wouldn’t be able to guard on time.

However, at the last second someone blocked the attack meant for her.

“Sorry I’m late,” Leia said, checking Milla to make sure she wasn’t hurt. However as she raised her eyes to confuse on Gaius, she froze. “Holy shit, I knew he was shredded,” Leia shouted in awe looking at his pecs.

“Um, thank you?” Gaius muttered confused, but it certainly didn’t stop him from attempting to cut Leia in half. Alvin turned around, trying to figure out how to help her, but then he noticed a telltale light of linking and realized he didn’t need to do anything.

Milla would handle it.

Gaius froze halfway through his attack, as Milla stopped his attack with her binding power.

“Not you too, Leia,” Milla complained, while Leia performed a flurry of attacks on the unmoving Gaius. When Milla reached the limit of her power, both women jumped backwards.

“Hey, you need to admit those are some impressive muscles,” Leia argued, twirling her staff as she channeled her support artes, while Milla protected her from Gaius’ attacks.

“See Milla! We just possess a healthy appreciation of nice aesthetic.” Alvin shouted from where he was busy launching Jude into the air with his broadsword so that he could kick Muzet in the face a second time with even more power.

Jude didn’t stop at that, this time chaining his attacks into a combo, Alvin joined him a moment later.

However, Muzet found an opening in their attacks, which she used to teleport far away from them. When Alvin glanced at the other duo he realized that she had also used her powers to relocate Gaius so he could catch Milla off-guard.

“Not good,” Jude shouted and Alvin realized that Muzet used her gravity powers to slow them down so they wouldn’t be able to escape from a huge attack she had been chanting.

It seemed that they would be unable to avoid the huge attack, but then they heard a familiar voice.

“Tidal wave!”

A huge stream of water bypassed them harmlessly, only to hit Muzet like a brick wall. Alvin could see in the periphery that Gaius also ended swept up by the wave. Leia used that moment to cast her support artes, while Alvin stuffed a gel into his mouth.

“My, Gaius certainly does not lose to Nachtigal in any aspect,” Rowen mused loudly, as he stopped next to Alvin.

Alvin could swear he heard Milla groan in the distance.

Muzet regained himself and started to cast another arte. Time to step up their game.

“Rowen!” Alvin called, synchronizing with him.

“On it!” he called, as he started to cast another arte.

“I will help Milla and Leia!” Jude shouted, running off. Alvin didn’t object. He could tell that Jude was still afraid of Muzet. He was grateful that the mercenary overcame his fears long enough to help him fight her, but he certainly didn’t want to force him to fight any longer than necessary.

He rushed at Muzet, while Rowen finished casting his arte.

“Shimmering Toll!” Rowen shouted, as a huge bell materialized above Muzet. The greater spirit also seemed to finish casting her spell, but Rowen had already created a protective magic that shielded Alvin from the rift of malicious energy that opened under his feet.

As Muzet became momentarily stunned from the strikes of bell, Alvin attacked her with his sword. She tried to escape as soon as Rowen’s spell dispersed, but Alvin chased her relentlessly. Rowen used well-aimed attacks with both his daggers and magic to restrict her movement and help Alvin catch up to her.

Still, at one point she managed to teleport far away from them. When Alvin turned his head to search for her, he saw Jude flying through the air, as if someone forcefully threw him there.

“Absolute Domination!” Gaius shouted as he descended on him like a bird of prey, tearing into Jude mercilessly.

“Jude!” Alvin shouted in desperation. It didn’t look good. That attack looked strong enough to cause permanent damage.

The mercenary could only groan, before his body limply hit the floor. Milla engaged Gaius to keep him away from the unconscious mercenary.

Alvin froze, as he recalled that time when Jude took a hit for him and almost died. This couldn’t be— 

“Ressurection!” Elize shouted, descending onto the battlefield with a flourish.

As she raised her scepter, healing magic enveloped Jude, giving him strength to raise from the ground.

“Elize!” Jude shouted thankfully, as the two of them linked.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Elize apologised. “This place was bigger than I thought and…” She paused as she looked properly at Gaius’ attire. “Aren’t you cold?”

“No,” Gaius replied levelly, while pushing Milla away with a strong blow.

“Wow, he can even compete with Milla’s bazoongas!” Teepo exclaimed, sounding extremely impressed by that fact.

“I probably shouldn’t have expected anything else,” Milla muttered. Someone chuckled and Alvin realized that Elize wasn’t alone. Presa was standing not far from her, visibly finding the whole situation amusing. “Do you also have anything to say?”

Presa blinked.

“No, not really,” she said levelly, but after knowing her for the past few days Alvin had a strong feeling where this conversation was going. “It’s not the first time I’ve seen Gaius shirtless, you know.” 

Milla groaned, but Presa had already moved away from the spot concentrated on her enemies.

“Alvin!” she shouted, as she approached. She extended her hand to him. “I still don’t feel like I hit that blue insect hard enough.”

“What a coincidence,” he said, as he took her hand—a link forming between them. “I feel the same way.”

He let go of her to rush towards Muzet. She seemed to be waiting for him. The tendrils extended from her back, but Alvin expected them and blocked that attack.

“Why do you continue to oppose us… Gaius is just!” she hissed, obviously annoyed.

“No, you two are just big bullies. And I’m done letting my friends get hurt!” he shouted, as he reached forward to grab Muzet’s hand and pull her forward.

Muzet was so surprised that she didn’t resist, letting Alvin pull her behind himself. She seemed to expect him to attack and was confused when no blow came. 

At least, until she caught sight of Presa who had finished casting her arte.

“Dragonmare Brood!”

A pair of heads burst out of her book, spiraling around each other, as they flew towards their target. Muzet had no time to dodge, as the two heads tore into her, throwing her into the air.

Presa closed her spellbook with the air of finality, just as Muzet’s body hit the ground.

“That’s what you get for messing with my ex,” she announced, turning her back on the defeated greater spirit. Alvin almost started clapping.

He turned to look at the other side of the field to check on the rest of the team. It seemed there had been some reassignment when he wasn’t looking. Jude was now linked with Milla, while Elize and Leia were linked together to time their support artes better. Rowen was a bit further from them casting spell after spell at Gaius.

“You think you can beat me?” Gaius asked, as he dodged Jude’s kick. Jude didn’t stop at that, producing throwing knives from his sleeves and sending them at Gaius.

“Of course, we can!” Milla shouted, as a wind spell appeared under his feet. “Arrivederci!”

“If you asked me a few days ago I would have probably said no,” Jude replied, as he regained his stance. “But since then I decided to prove you wrong!”

“You think you can change just like that,” Gaius hissed, as he regained himself after Milla’s attack. Jude was already charging at him. The king blocked his attack, sending him back with a swing. However, he quickly realized this was exactly what the mercenary wanted, as a number of caltrops fell on the ground with a clatter.

“Now, Milla!” Jude shouted, as Gaius turned towards her, just in time to block her attack.

“Your tricks won’t defeat me!” Gaius shouted, but his situation didn’t look good. The caltrops heavily limited his movement and while he could probably withstand the pain of stepping on one it would only hasten his demise.

“I used to think that humans’ struggle was pointless!” Milla shouted as she broke off and continued attacking with her weapons. “I didn’t understand why they would continue to fight if it brought them nothing but suffering. But I was wrong! Humans can change! And I will believe in their potential!”

“You are wrong!” Gaius shouted, aiming at her, but Milla backstepped, barely avoiding the attack. Gaius was surprised to see her retreat, but then he saw Jude rush in her place, just as his attack lost its momentum.

“We are going to prove her right!” Jude shouted. Gaius blocked, while Jude jumped into the air to kick him.

Except Jude didn’t even attempt to land an attack, kicking off from Gaius’ blade to rise higher into the air. Gaius followed his trajectory, before remembering that there was Milla to worry about. But it was too late.

The Four appeared around Gaius, their powers shooting out to root Gaius in spot and preventing him from blocking the attack. Meanwhile, Jude reached the highest point of his jump as he twisted in air to throw all the projectile weapons he had left at Gaius. Knives, shurikens, and a handful of explosives all hit Gaius, while Jude reached for his gun to fire several shots as he fell to the ground.

However, this was only the first half of the attack, as Milla finished her casting and the Four channeled her power into a powerful magical vortex that blew Gaius into the air.

“Elemental Reverie,” Jude and Milla shouted, as they finished their attack by hitting the falling Gaius with a cross attack.

With that final slash and punch, the king fell.

*

Milla didn’t waste her time, summoning the Four to deactivate the Lance of Kresnik and free Maxwell. Muzet moped on the floor, now that Gaius was defeated.

“Your vision of the future offers nothing, but the suffering to the people whether spyrites are perfected or not,” Gaius argued, his spirit still not defeated. “Even if we unite the two worlds, it is pure fantasy to think that they will cooperate with one another.”

“Sure, it is not certain,” Alvin agreed. “But sometimes you need to risk it and take a step forward even if you are scared and might fail. Sometimes you just need to have hope and believe in people. We’ve come so far because we believed in each other.”

“I wouldn’t be here if Alvin and everybody else didn’t believe in me,” Milla said.

“None of us would probably be here,” Alvin agreed. “I was so scared when I started on this journey… and through most of it… actually scratch that, all the time,” he corrected himself with a small laugh.

“And what does your show of weakness prove?” Gaius asked, visibly irked.

“That we can change!” Jude said with power.

Gaius looked at him irritated, but before he could say anything Alvin looked at him.

“You also want to believe in our future, don’t you? You keep being all cynical about it, but you wanted us to persuade you,” Alvin pointed out. “You wanted to believe that humans could be better.”

“And what does it matter?” Gaius asked.

“We will prove it to you,” Alvin said. “You are right, I am still weak. But I will find a way to get stronger. We all will. So trust in us!”

Milla smiled at that.

“Humans strive to become stronger. They constantly struggle to grow more for the sake of the others. I couldn’t understand it at first, but now.” She paused, looking pleased. “Now it fills me with hope. I can see a future filled with possibilities for mankind. And that hope is something I refuse to give up. I cherish it.” She paused once more, but this time her gaze seemed to pierce through the king. “Don’t you, Gaius?”

Gaius glared at her.

“I do not. When all those possibilities vanish I will be forced to raise again.”

However, before he could continue with his rant, Alvin stepped forward, extending his hand.

“I promise you, we will make sure you won’t have to. So believe in us, okay?” he asked with a wink. For a second Gaius looked baffled, but then the tension seemed to leave him slightly.

“Fine,” he said, taking Alvin’s hand. “But if you break your word, I will cut your hand off,” he said seriously, though there was a hint of a teasing smile on his face.

“Wait, what?!” Alvin cried, while the rest of the party laughed.

Meanwhile, on the side Milla approached the crying Muzet.

“Because of what you did a lot of people got hurt,” Milla said, looking down at her.

“So what? I was only doing what I was told!” Muzet argued, tears in her eyes. “I just wanted to be useful…”

“I know,” Milla said, gently placing a hand on Muzet’s hand. “I understand that now.”

Muzet slowly raised her head.

“You do?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Yes,” Milla said, pulling Muzet closer. “Even if other people won’t forgive you for what you’ve done, I will. Because you are my sister,” she explained, gently hugging Muzet.

“Milla…”

“I won’t leave you alone anymore, so come with me,” Milla said. Muzet returned her hug, sobbing into her arm.

Suddenly, another voice spoke, interrupting them.

“I see that you have made up your mind,” Maxwell said slowly raising into the air.

“Yes,” Milla said, her voice steely, as she gently let go of Muzet.

“Milla, what are you talking about?” Alvin asked, having a really bad feeling about this.

She slowly turned toward him, her gaze full of determination.

“I’ve decided to become Maxwell,” she announced.

Everyone except Jude gasped in surprise. Jude alone looked unsurprised, hanging his head low, as if looking at Milla physically pained him.

“Isn’t there another way?” Alvin asked, looking frantically at Maxwell.

“If she so desires she could use the mana from the schism to become human,” the spirit said, but Milla gently shook her head. “I see, keep watch over the spirits then.”

With those words, Maxwell looked intently at Milla. Somehow his old age seemed more pronounced now. The centuries weighing upon him so heavily that it seemed as if he was about to turn to dust and disperse in the air.

And it felt as if Milla was about to disappear together with him.

“Wait!” Alvin shouted, rushing forward to catch Milla in embrace. She didn’t resist his hug. “You can’t just—”

“I’m sorry, Alvin, but this farewell,” she said, her voice warm, but unwavering. “Our fates had been intertwined in a mysterious way, but it is time our paths part. Thank you for everything.”

“Milla…” he muttered, still not letting her go. He understood he had to. Alvin knew his face must have been twisted in pain. That wouldn’t do. He had to send Milla off with a smile.

For once in his life he had to make his fake smile a reality.

He slowly pulled away, grinning at her. His smile was wavering slightly, but he held it in place.

“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble on our journey. Sorry for all the times I was weak. For all the lies I told you. I’m a really terrible sometimes and without you I wouldn’t become half a person I am today…” He paused to even out his voice that was threatening to turn into a whine. “But I’m fine now. So you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Milla smiled back at him, but a second later she was drowned in a group hug, as Rowen, Leia, Elize and Teepo jumped at her.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Leia cried.

“Do you really have to go?” Elize asked, holding onto Milla. “I…”

“Elize wants you to know she loves you tons!” Teepo exclaimed in her place. “Of course, I do too!”

“It has been a pleasure,” Rowen said gently.

Jude and Presa stood slightly away, looking like they weren’t sure if they should join. However, once Milla freed himself from her friend’s embraces, she approached them.

“Milla, I…” Jude started, but he didn’t finish as Milla gently patted his head.

“Please make sure to keep an eye on him, while I’m gone. He’s much more reliable than he used to be, but he probably still gets lonely easily,” she said, winking at Jude.

That seemed to cheer up the mercenary, who smiled back at her.

“I will make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble,” he promised.

“And I will make sure this little troublemaker, doesn’t cause anyone problems,” Presa said, pulling Jude closer to her. “So don’t worry about those idiots.”

Milla smiled at Presa in gratitude, before turning toward Maxwell.

“I’m ready,” she announced.

Maxwell spread his arms and with a bright flash of light he dispelled the schism. As he did so he slowly disintegrated, disappearing into the blue sky that now shined brightly at them.

Alvin realized Milla was trembling slightly, so he gently grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

After she had supported him for so long… it was his turn to support her now.

“From now on, I am Milla Maxwell, the Lord of the Spirits,” she announced as tears streaked down her cheeks. Even then, her smile didn’t waver as she proclaimed. “And I will be okay.”

He held her hand more tightly as they looked at the sky together.

He wanted to commit this moment to his memory so that he would never ever forget it.

*

Alvin stared at the text message he got from Leia.

“She says that Elize is sending her passive-aggressive messages about the fact that I have not officially adopted her yet,” he said, lying on the documents he was supposed to look through.

“I don’t think I can help you with that,” Jude replied unhelpfully from a desk that was slightly away from Alvin’s, where he had been sitting surrounded by so many books and research papers that Alvin could barely see his silhouette from behind them.

“I think it would be also your problem at that point,” Alvin replied, not hiding snark in his voice. There was surely some sort of rule that boyfriends were supposed to help with adopted daughters.

“Not really, I would have to be upgraded to a fiance to count as a family,” Jude replied, giving Alvin a strong hint as to where Elize learned to be passive-aggressive. “That being said, you’ve barely been visiting for the past few weeks. Is something wrong?”

Alvin raised above his paper tomb to properly express his dissatisfaction.

“Of course there is! You live with your ex!” he said accusingly. He still couldn’t see Jude properly from behind the documents, but his tired sight made it easy to imagine what kind of face he was making.

“That again... I told you that I’ve made arrangements so that…”

“She teases me!” Alvin hissed in despair, once more descending into the embrace of the indifferent forms spread on his desk. “How can I make any progress when she constantly breathes down my neck?!”

“She’s just looking out for me. And she likes you a lot,” Jude said defensively. “You should stop trying to be so self-conscious.”

“I’m not self-conscious,” Alvin said, self-consciously.

“By the way, how is Leia?” Jude asked, in an obvious attempt to change the topic.

“Same as always. Searching for a big scoop,” he said, deciding that updating Jude on the whereabouts of their friends was more interesting than work. “Elize is doing fine too. Their class is apparently organizing a small festival dedicated to spirits and she keeps trying to persuade everyone that Maxwell should be a woman.”

“Yeah, she keeps asking me for advice,” Jude replied.

Alvin raised his eyes at his boyfriend in offense.

“Why is she asking you and not me for advice?”

“I got the feeling that she was getting desperate and wanted more underhanded advice. She also sent that message to Rowen.”

“My fatherhood is looking pretty grim,” Alvin decided once more burying himself in papers.

“Come on, you should try to finish up the work so you can go see the festival,” Jude encouraged him.

“I know, I know, but still…” Alvin started, but then froze as he felt a chilly presence behind him.

“Are you procrastinating again?” Presa asked in a sweetly dangerous voice.

“No, I was just taking a short break. For concentration,” he lied, immediately straightening in his seat.

“Elize will be very unhappy if you don’t visit her, because you’ve been slacking off,” she continued in a disapproving voice. She was looming over Alvin like a predator, ready to rip into him at a moment’s notice.

“I will visit her, even if it’s the last thing I do!” he assured her. It _was_ his plan anyway. No amount of paperwork would stop him from going to cheer on Elize.

At least he strongly hoped there _wouldn’t_ be enough paperwork to stop him.

“I certainly hope so,” she said, moving away. “I generously allowed you to work in this room, even though you are not a part of a research team and a terrible distraction at that, so you’d better not fall behind on your work.”

“Last time I checked you were Jude’s assistant, not the other way round,” he complained, despite his better judgement. Presa turned around to glare at him. Alvin hid behind the stacks of documents he was supposed to be filling.

“Last time I checked you were supposed to be working in another building, Mr. PR Consultant,” she replied icily. Alvin ducked his head, feeling his short-lived bravado die.

“By the way, Presa, how is Gaius doing?” Jude, the light of his life, the hope in the darkness, the saviour from evil ex-es, chimed in.

Presa gave him a look that said that she was well aware of what Jude was doing, but then she sighed.

“He’s fine. He and Rowen are overworking themselves as always,” she said offhandedly.

“If you want to check—” Jude started, but Presa quickly shushed him.

“It’s fine. I’ve told you already, I’m not a member of Chimeriad anymore. I’m an assistant spyrite researcher,” she said, leaning on his desk.

Alvin had to admit to himself that the new role suited her well. The smart clothes and white lab coat fitted her much better than her spy outfit. Meanwhile, Jude pulled out some of his notes and was now showing them to Presa, while describing them with a lot of phrases that flew right over Alvin’s head.

He took a deep breath, as he turned towards his own stacks of paper. He had to take things seriously if he wanted to see Elize.

He turned his head towards the window, looking at the deep blue sky extending beyond the horizon.

Even if Milla wasn’t with them anymore they would keep moving forward. Taking small steps forward someday they would reach it—the future where all of them could smile together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Anyone who says they weren't distracted by Gaius' bare chest during the final fight is a liar.~~


End file.
